....what was I thinking?

Yogis,

I woke up this morning to begin crawling my way out of the void, better known as Christmas week.  Family was packing up to head home, bags and bags of trash piled on the steps to go out and the aftermath of the holiday meals and our rainy walks strewn across the wood floors.  Dog hair like tumbleweeds and cookie crumbs mixed in with those annoying plastic pieces that hold price tags onto new clothing.  A nerf dart discovered lodged in my Buddha’s elbow.  All there as a tribute to the wonderful time had by all.

I knew my morning was to consist of preparation for the workshop I was leading at 3:00 titled ‘Finding Your Center’ and I was so far from center I didn’t even know what day of the week it was.  HEL-LO.  Who in their right mind plans to lead others in centering at the tail end of basically a 4 day slumber party for 12 (not counting the 2 dogs and baby) in their home?   Uh, oh…….

Where to begin?  What does it actually mean to ‘Find your Center’?  Is it even possible in the swirl of the holiday season….or even in our run of the mill hectic day to day lives?

If I asked you to put your hand at your center, where would it go?  For me it is the center of my torso, above the belly button and right under the ribs.  I had to start somewhere and I found this morning that the simple act of placing my hand there sparked a remembering.  A small sign pointing to the path. 

It brought me back to the couple times I took Phoebe out alone for her walk over these last couple of days.  My rain boots on and  leash latched we would cross the barrier from the Christmas carol filled house with all of its lights, laughter and aromas into the stillness of the night.  A light drizzle and oh so quiet.  Hearing my own steps as they made their way through the puddles.  Oh yeah, there is my breath!  I forgot about you!  Everything suddenly slowing way down.  The bare branches so stark against the foggy sky and one time a sudden parting of the clouds to reveal the full moon.  On our return we would step back through the barrier right into the thick of Christmas mayhem and jump in without missing a beat. 

What was it in those walks that felt so centering? 

I don’t proclaim to have all of the answers but I will share the ones that steered me inward today.  Try them on for size:

·         Stopping.  Simply stopping.  Everything.  Movement, breath, thoughts.  Suddenly stopping….for a few seconds.  Then going back to what you were doing.  Absolute stillness.

·         Quiet.  Turning everything off, including your own voice.  In the quiet our center speaks.

·         Watching the breath.  Visualizing a line through the center of the body where the inhale traces it up and the exhale traces it back down.  The breath is the compass.  When it zigzags, so do we.

·         Heading outside ….I am sitting in my rock circle as I write this

·         Closing your eyes giving the other senses a chance to share in your experience.  The chimes in the distance.  The breeze through my hair.  The birds chirping because it is 70 degrees.

All of the above lead us to one place…. To Noticing this moment.  When we choose to notice this moment we stop.  We become so quiet we can hear our breath.  All of our sense awaken and everything  becomes crystal clear.  We….as the observer of this moment…..are our center. 

Our center isn’t a physical place.  It is our very essence. It is always there, we are just sometimes distracted.  It is who we are. 

And I……………….am now ready for the workshop to begin!......thanks goodness since it is now 2:15!

Remembering,
SARAH

....ho,ho,oh no

Yogis,

It begins earlier and earlier every single year.  We used to have until the day after Thanksgiving but that has become a distant memory.  Then at least  Halloween was given its own day in the sun.  But that too has passed.  This year I was shopping on September 27^th when I took this picture ……… 

 

……the Christmas Season.  Ho, ho, oh no.

I am able to ignore it all until Thanksgiving.  It is a principle I have that Christmas should last no longer than a month.  For me it always begins the day after Thanksgiving with a Black Friday trip to the outlets with my sisters in law.  The stores always open at about 5am (which we do not witness as we are still asleep) but this year they all opened at 4pm on Thanksgiving day and stayed open throughout the night.  As if I would want to be buying that perfect sweater at 2:30 in the morning.  Employees I saw the next day could barely string a coherent sentence together they were so wiped.

Ho, ho, whoa.

The Christmas Season.  For me it encompasses a three week period in which I………… bake cookies, write a Christmas letter, take the Christmas picture, stuff and address 80 Christmas cards, stand in line at the post office to mail 80 Christmas cards, buy many many presents, wrap many many presents, buy a Christmas tree, put up a Christmas tree,  get the house ready, attend Christmas parties, buy more presents, wrap more presents, grocery shop, buy flowers, stand in lines, pray for good parking spaces and wash the linens. 

Ho, ho, go.

All of this while still working my full time job (with yearend pressures no less), paying bills, teaching classes, walking the dog and feeding the family.  Are you feeling it?

A frenzied pace that is not for the weak of heart. 

It is an energy that even those who don’t celebrate Christmas can feel.  How could you not?  The backup to the exit ramp to the mall was over a mile long yesterday.  The UPS man barrels up and down the street at least  5 times a day (thank goodness!) and Christmas carols and lights fill the air. 

So why do we do it?

I know why I do it.  Because once the whole family has arrived and we sit around the fire with our cheese and crackers and open that first bottle of champagne, the feeling of love and joy we all share is beyond words. 

The Christmas season.  Could it be done more simply.  Absolutely.  Do I expect it to change. No, not really.  Is that ok?  Yes.

Merry Christmas to you all!

I still have to bake and wrap some more,
SARAH

....trees

Yogis,

There it goes again. That all too familiar sound of a chainsaw gearing up.  Appears a couple more trees must be coming down today. It is a sound that makes me sad.

We hear about the deforestation happening in the world.  We see the pictures and for a few moments we are angered. Who is allowing that to happen?  That shouldn’t be!  But then 10 minutes later we head off for car pool or yoga class. 

But when it starts to happen in your own neighborhood it begins to hit home……

My tree (well, one of my many trees)

As many of you already know…….I LOVE  trees.  When we moved into Cabin John almost 30 years ago it was like moving into the woods.  Every day when I would drive home from the hustle and bustle of the city, as soon as I turned onto my street I automatically turned off the radio because it sounded almost irreverent against the hush that would fall.  The way your voice automatically drops to a whisper when you enter sacred space. 

But it is changing.  Slowly, but noticeably and it makes me sad. 

As our thirst for bigger homes, garages and paved driveways continues to surge, the room left for trees shrinks considerably. The current trend for each new home built, is several trees must come down as they are ‘in the way’. What takes up their space is a nice new lawn which inevitably is visited every few weeks by a small sign warning that it has been treated. 

I truly am not pointing the finger at others because I too am at blame.  Although we didn’t remove any trees when building our home, 3 trees over time have succumbed to the trauma of the construction. An unintended consequence I am seeing all around town.  I sobbed when the chainsaw was started in my own backyard.  

Yes the unintended consequences are arriving.  Our street is experiencing some severe storm water runoff issues. My little section which was once like walking into the forest has ironically become the spot I can now connect most with the sky. And Friday night as I leaned out the window the sound of the beltway only ½ mile away was louder than I have ever heard it.

Our mighty oaks are coming down and decorative dogwoods and crape myrtle are going up.  But it is our large canopy trees that provide the sound barrier, filter and purify our air, hold the rain in its place, provide homes to the squirrels and birds, warm the house in the winter and provide our shade in the summer. We need them, and they need us.

There is no simple answer.  But as a start, what if we all began to plant oak trees in our yards?  Or maples?  Or beech?  Trees that will be here 50 years from now when our grandchildren and great grandchildren move into the neighborhood. Trees that provide the hush. 

I was interviewed by Bethesda magazine recently for an issue that talks to the uniqueness of each of our neighborhoods.  I told them that I always say ‘living in Cabin John is like living in the woods, but only 5 miles from the city.’  But I am wondering how long these words will remain true……….

Cabin John has a unique energy to it, in most part due to the river and our trees.  It’s that energy which drew most of us to settle here.  Calming, quiet, peaceful.  If we continue to change the physical landscape, our inner landscape won’t be far behind.

I love my trees,
SARAH

.......the peace within

Yogis,

This week we moved up to Visshudha chakra, the throat.  Finding our unique frequency, our note, and sending it out.  Speaking as me from deep within.

But as the events of this week unfolded I felt very little need to speak.  There truly are no words that could do justice to the feelings that I, and I know many others have about the frequency of our human world right now.  Instead I am craving silence.  If my life would allow I would gather others with the same need and head to a remote spot to sit with what is and listen.  To listen for its message.  To reconnect with my inner voice and purpose.

I have begun to hear those familiar words cropping up in conversations. ‘I am nervous.  I’m worried.  I was up most of the night.  We are scared to travel to Europe.  Everyone should be carrying a gun……and on and on.’  Words of fear.  Sigh.  An energy that contracts.  That limits.  An energy that feeds itself and spreads with ease.  I am choosing not to be in its path.

What keeps playing in my head is the ending of the Grinch Who Stole Christmas.  The scene where after all of the hurt the Grinch could possibly  inflict he goes to the mountain top to listen for the sounds of  suffering.  But what does he hear instead but the beautiful sound of voices all joined in song.  Hand in hand with light radiating out from their open hearts.

That is my vision…..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqOOUJFv1n0

Just as the Grinch could not steal Christmas, acts of violence cannot steal our personal peace, unless we let them.  The Grinch wanted to witness suffering just as there are some right now who hope to watch us cower in fear. 

The throat energy is our free will.  The place where we choose.  And every single thing we do and say is a choice, and they all stem from either fear or love.  I am consciously choosing love.  I will remind myself of this every morning as I watch the sun rise.

And do you remember what happened next to the Grinch?  His heart grew 3 sizes that day!  Because love too feeds on itself and spreads easily.  Its energy is one of expansion and is boundless.  

That is the path I will be walking. I can't imagine life any other way. Will you be joining me?

Radiating from an open heart,
SARAH

....it's only five minutes

Yogis,

A five minute free standing headstand. That is the requirement in Iyengar yoga to move up to the next level  class.  Five full long never ending minutes.

I have always thought that was silly. What did standing on your head for five minutes show?  I have been able to do a headstand since I was a little girl, long before I ever even heard the word yoga.  It didn’t appear to be a path to enlightenment.  I’m sure I can do five minutes but why would I want to? What does that prove? I remember even voicing this thought to others when the topic of Iyengar was raised.  It was one of the things that even held me back from practicing Iyengar yoga.

Many times over the last several years I would be up in headstand and say to myself that I was going to stay for five minutes, but after about two I would come down.  I can do it, I would say to myself.  I’m just not going to right now. 

What was that all about?  A whole lot of judging going on there about something I had never actually tried.

We do that in life all the time. ‘I could meditate if I chose to….I’m just not choosing to’. ‘I can choose to eat a healthy diet, and will as soon as the holidays are over’.  ‘I know I am able to take on more responsibility in work and someday I am going to raise my hand’. 

Could it be that deep down I am not sure if I really can stay up there that long, and not sure I want to uncover that or put it to the test?

So a few weeks ago I decided it was time to choose it.  Not talk about it or think about it, but choose it and step forward.  Each day I would go up and after about 3 minutes I would come down.  Was it because my arms got tired or I felt dizzy?  No. What I began to notice was that it was simply my inner dialog kicking into gear telling me I should come down now, and it would get louder and louder until I finally listened.  My mind was calling the plays and ‘I’ was listening. Who needs to do this anyway?

Huh.  Headstand was calling my bluff. 

Today I tried again with clear intention.  Checked my phone. 10:40.  ‘I’ took a deep breath, kicked up, found alignment and came into stillness.  I watched.  And watched.  And watched.  I saw my plants and my books from a unique perspective.  I listened to the words of the song.  I felt my heartbeat.  I noticed when I began to slouch and drew in my core and sent my legs higher.  My mind began its work, but ‘I’ chose not to listen but to breathe instead.  Steady. Still.  Being present without trying to muscle my way through or distract myself.  Finally when it felt right, and not when my mind told me to, I lowered down.

10:48!

Where else in life am I all talk and no action?  If I can stand on my head for 8 minutes what else can I do?  Am I willing to face fears and possible embarrassment to find growth?

This isn’t about being in a headstand.  It’s about being real and honest with yourself and stepping into your highest potential.   And this step took me six years.  But who is counting J

Watching,
SARAH

...for this I am grateful

Yogis,

Aaahhhhhhhhh………..   Two weeks of heart opening.  What a perfect way to step into the week of gratitude that lies ahead! 

Thanksgiving. The giving of Thanks.

Gratitude is an action.  A verb.  A conscious state of being.  And it all begins by bringing awareness to the heart. 

Roll your shoulders back.  Place your left hand over the center of your chest.  Put the right one on top.  Close your eyes and take five long slow breaths into this space.  Then bring to mind something or someone for whom you are grateful.  When you begin to feel the stirrings of gratitude energy (you will recognize it), breathe life into it.  Keep expanding it with the your breath until it no longer fits in the confines of the chest and you are vibrating at the frequency of gratitude.  Then send it out!  Glow.  BE GRATITUDE.

As I sit here and look around this room I feel gratitude for my books, yoga mat, the plants, and this pc that allows me to share my deepest inner feelings with all of you.  For my music, journal, rocks, oils, my plants and the small radiator that keeps me warm as the season changes.   The spectacular view from this room, my mala beads and my gnarly walking stick……….  I glow on them all.

As I look back over this one simple weekend I am grateful for the many women that shared a piece of themselves with me over the course of the day yesterday, each in a unique and special way. They are all a gift.  For the ability to rake leaves, and rake more leaves…..and more leaves, and how Phoebe allowed two dogs to play in the backyard with her at the same time.  For fabulous food, a fire which I can still smell on my jeans each time I lean over, and the moon as she rose and watched me from a crystal clear sky.  I glow on them all.

For my challenges I am grateful, for without them I would stand still.  For the sorrow I feel as I touch my heart, because without diving into its depths,  I could not fully live joy.  For those who make me uncomfortable as they are the ones who hold a mirror to my face.  Even for the coming of winter since without its stillness I know I wouldn’t make time to go within. 

But at this moment (which is the only moment that is real) I am most grateful to be me.  Exactly the way that I am.  Because I am…..just like each and every one of you….. perfect.

What is your gratitude list today?

Glowing on all of you,
SARAH

it's a bird..it's a plane..it's.........

Yogis,

We all know the story.  Clark Kent.  Raised in Smallville.  Normal shy awkward kind of guy, working his run of the mill job in journalism.  Fitting in with the masses, living a typical Kansas life. Not particularly noticeable.  Until……….

….there is danger.  A threat to society.  Good people suddenly in harm’s way.  He watches for a while from the sidelines but something within him stirs.  With each breath it expands, and along with it, the broadness of his chest.   Until finally he can no longer contain it – physically, mentally or emotionally.  He is literally bursting open at the seams.

His hands reach up and suddenly he is no longer Clark.  He is………

This is exactly how I feel whenever I work with the energy of the heart!

The element of air.  Our breath.  Our energy center for joy, sorrow, grief and love.  All the same.  All must be felt to be complete…to be human.  All who we truly are. They are our Superman inside. 

The heart energy is stirred when we open the upper body.  Back bending, shoulder opening, arm circles and complete full three part breaths.  Receiving breath first in the belly, then the ribs, then the chest where it makes more space for the heart.  The fire of light and heat we generated in the power plant of the belly, now rises and shines out through the heart.  Our spotlight! 

The more fully we breathe, the more fully we live. 

So whenever I do a week of heart classes I begin to feel as if the front of my chest has been removed.  That my heart energy is so vast and so bright it can no longer be contained within the small confines of my chest.  I feel like Superman…..but with a huge L for love on my chest!

I realized last night that I use my heart spotlight every Friday.  Before my bath I always hang out my bedroom window (which made me also realize that with screens, many people don’t have a window to ‘hang out’ of…….so consider having one window with no screen).  I put my whole upper body out, year round, and breathe the night air.  It feels great and freeing in all kinds of weather.  And then I spread my chest wide and send love to each of the 7 trees that encircle my backyard sanctuary.  My protectors.  Then to the animals of the night.  Then I shine on those I love near and far. Then to the Universe. 

And this Friday….to all of those in Paris. And to those who have built up so much hate and anger that they can take innocent lives without hesitation. 

We all have our Clark Kent costume. Mine is Xerox Major Account Contract Manager. Our mask. But at night….watch out. 

Be Superman this week.  Don’t let the love that lives in your soul stay safely at a simmer.  Draw the shoulders back, lift your heart and breathe with every fiber in your body so that the light becomes so bright it can’t be contained in your small self.  Reach up, rip open your costume and become love.  Shine it on everyone.  Everyone. Everything. Don’t discriminate.  Don’t judge.  Just shine.

I AM LOVE,

SARAH

...is it hot in here?

Yogis,
The Universe is always keeping me on my toes…..and keeping me entertained.  As I lay in bed late Friday night my day flashed in front of me and I suddenly laughed out loud.

You may recall I made mention of the fact that when I jump into fire I have this tendency to go a little too far…….and I had made that observation about myself a mere week ago!  You might think that would have kept me mindful.  Oh no.

Our focus has been on the fire element for two weeks now.  A strong practice including work on the ever dreaded Chaturanga, several arm balances, leg lifts, standing split and of course a good round of screaming.  Finding our core and inner strength, and awakening that ‘I CAN’ energy….. and working up some good internal heat in the process. Over the last 14 days I have done that practice probably 15 times between teaching and my own personal practice.

In those very same weeks, it seems I also took a giant step forward in the transformative process of menopause.  The nightly hot flashes have begun in earnest.  Waking up mornings groggy with a slight headache.

So I taught my final fire class on Friday morning, which then turned out to be a freak 80 degree day in November.  Leaves falling and the need to change out of that long sleeve shirt.  An hour long warm lunch time walk in the sun with a good friend.  Five hours later finds me at my hot yoga class working on standing up from wheel pose in a 95 degree room.  Of course then followed by my Friday night hot bath.

By the time I was done I was engulfed in one long hot flash with the internal furnace roaring and my face flush with sweat.  I stood there and couldn’t imagine even putting my light cotton pajamas against my skin.  Window open wide and blankets removed, I lay down and see my day flash before my eyes.  Yes indeed, I had done exactly what I predicted.

Will I ever learn or is that ‘just how I am’?  I think I can learn…..and I believe these hot flashes are going to be one of my guides.

Saturday I take it easy since I will be hosting the 27th annual Lobsterfest dinner that evening– 10 of us who met when we were young and carefree that absolutely love to gather once a year.  I want to feel tip top.  Sleeping in, a leisurely walk and a cup of my red clover infusion.  Watchful as I get the house ready not to fall into that frantic running around phase, but instead moving slowly and mindfully.  Enjoying setting the table and reminding myself to exhale fully.  Feeling the cooling effects of being present with exactly what is.

Everyone arrives for our evening of great food, lots of hugs, catching up on the year and then some no holds barred dancing.  It is a blast.  At one point I step back to observe with the beat of the music pulsing through my body.  I  see everyone spread across our great room, arms in the air, feet and hips moving…..and once again we are young and carefree.  Completely open to that moment. Pure fun. Grounded and relaxed.  (So relaxed in fact, that I had forgotten to put the plates out on the table…..)

As I lay down Saturday evening, the hot flashes, although still present, were more of a simmer.  I was able to lay back this time, spread my arms wide and receive the gift.

This evening while the sun set I watched the fire I had built in my pit and it showed me that I am learning.

I’m hot,
SARAH

....a steady flame

Yogis,

I love when we work with the water element. It pulls me out of the day to day grind to experience more. Dropping from the thinking mind deep into the feeling mind. Moving my hips and tasting life.  It just plain feels good!

So it is always bittersweet for me when it is time in class to move up to Manipura, our fire center.  Once I begin to work with fire I tend to push. I get going and start doing too much, giving it my all until I am overheated, dry and tired. Trying to ‘make things happen’. 

But that is a fire that is raging and isn’t balanced and is so easy for us to fall into. Our true fire energy when it is refined and confident is a steady flame. It is sensual, bright and warming to the soul. When used properly it is our vision and intention sent out and then ‘allowed to happen’ because we have such a solid sense of self that we don’t feel the need to push.

I have never been comfortable with building fires. I always worried that either I wouldn’t be able to get it going or that it would roar out of control and cause damage. I didn’t trust it and would sit back and always let someone else take charge. I didn’t want to get burned.

But over these past two years the Universe has nudged me to place a fire circle on my property.  First I noticed the special energy I would feel whenever entering the area overlooking the woods. Next I had the vision of a circle there. I selected the rocks and began with a small above ground fire pit a neighbor was leaving behind. Then this year I felt drawn to have something more permanent and had a stone in ground fire pit built. Oh, uh.  Now I had to learn to build fires…..

I decided I needed to practice as this pit is about 3 feet deep.  Trying first by building the fire right on the stone floor with a lot of smoke, but little success. Dragging out the grate from the inside fireplace and using various log configurations. Walking through my woods with Phoebe to gather kindling and climbing inside the pit to place everything just so and observe from various angles. Stepping outside of my comfort zone.

Last week was my big test. I hosted a fire pit party after a yoga workshop. I was able to get the fire started and keep it tended for the whole three hours. I ‘can’ build a fire!

I came out first and got it lit and then watched as everyone was slowly drawn away from the house and toward the flame. All sitting around the circle to catch up and share stories and food. People I knew and some I was meeting for the first time. Drawing us all together. Tending with just a small poke here and a log added mindfully there, just at the right moment. The fire providing the light and the warmth while we finished off the evening by roasting marshmallows.    

I am learning.  My fire circle is teaching me how to ignite my own flame and keep it tended so that I too can be the light and warmth that others are drawn to. Not needing to throw on lighter fluid because too much heat will send everyone away and burn me out. Letting my dreams, just like the fire, happen without pushing, because I am strong enough to know that they will if I simply keep looking and stepping forward. 

If I can build a fire, think of all of the other things I can do,

SARAH

.....riding the current of life

Yogis,

When I was little I loved the swimming pool.  I was like a little fish.  Diving to the bottom, hanging upside down from the side, and having tea parties with my friends deep below the surface.  I would glide through the water and could swim two full lengths while holding my breath – always winning in that competition.   It all felt free and effortless.  I was in the flow.

But put me in the ocean where the current was stronger and it was another whole matter.  One too many times I was grabbed by a wave and tumbled, being held under water for only seconds…..but it felt like hours.  That feeling of being pulled downward and me struggling to go upward and ending up with a nose full of water and a bathing suit full of sand.  Gasping for air as I broke the surface.  Intellectually I knew to let go to the current, but I definitely wasn’t able in those critical moments.  I resisted.  I was not in the flow.

Just like life…………………….

The water element is our flow.  The fluidity in our joints and our spirit that allow us to move through life with ease and grace. 

The Universe has a flow.  A rhythm.  I call it the ‘hum’.  When you get quiet and still enough you can feel it.  And when we swim with it, we find our own flow.  Life feels free and effortless, like riding the wind.  When we fight and swim against its current, life becomes awfully hard and we end up with water up our nose.  

The moon is the keeper of the flow.  Her cycle of seemingly appearing from nothing one night in the sky as the slightest sliver and expanding for two weeks until she is completely full and whole, the peak of the inhale.  A time of heightened energy and light for diving into your passion, stepping beyond boundaries, fertility and growth.

Followed every single month of every single year by the two weeks of a gentle gradual darkening…the long slow exhale.  A time of slowing down and moving inward to reconnect with what is right here.  A shedding of the outer world to delve into the inner work.  Letting go to the flow.

The lightness of spring is followed by the long hot days of summer where the Universe reaches new heights and bursts at the seams with aliveness.  Followed always by fall where the trees go through the process of dropping all they no longer need to prepare for the rest  and quiet of winter.  Each season with its own ‘hum’ eager for you to join in.  Neither hanging back nor rushing ahead.  Just in tune.

You can hear it in the raining down of the acorns and taste it in the smoky air of a campfire.  You can feel it when the house is covered with a thick blanket of snow and see it in the decaying log as it rests, at ease, next to the rushing creek. 

The breath flows in and the breath flows out.  We are born, live life to its fullest, slow down and eventually return to the earth.  The sun rises and it sets. 

Let go and listen for the flow.  Lie back and ride its current.  Free and effortless.

Mmmmmmmm………

SARAH

.....my secret lover

Yogis,

This week we dove off the solid banks of earth into the watery realm of Svadhisthana …..our sacral chakra.  The element of water.  Our creativity, moisture, fluidity, desire and sensuality.  The feminine.  Interestingly enough, the Post ran two articles this week on the impact of aging on women’s sexuality.

Yes, as the years go by, and life piles on, women tend to want sex less often than men.  Sometimes dwindling to the point where the urge can feel nonexistent.  Usually we are told that it a “known fact” that women’s libido decreases, which has led to the development of medical treatments and the pink pill. But do we really need more medicine?

One of this week’s article stated that older women’s wants were different and that intimacy became more important than a good orgasm.  PLEASE.  Are they serious?  Since when did I have to choose one over the other?  I want a deep soul connection and an earth rocking orgasm, and that isn’t too much to ask. But when it isn’t happening we begin to believe that is just how things are. 

Several years ago I was listening to Christine Northrup MD, an expert on women’s health issues and menopause, and she commented that the best cure for a stalled sex life is a new partner.  It stopped me in my tracks.  What, as my ears perked up?  She then went on to say that the new partner can be you.  It makes perfect sense.  If I don’t clearly know what it is that I want, how can I expect anyone else to fulfill my desire?

I offer yet another angle to this threesome.  That the new partner can be the Universe.  A secret, juicy, wild, messy love affair with all that is……..

Sensuality blooms from within.  We ourselves need to feel free, wild, open and untamed, in order to share that with another.  And the Universe is eager to help.

But somehow the old 9-5 job, carpool, emails, meetings and chores pull many of us away from our primal nature.  Our attention is spent on matters of the mind and doesn’t venture down nearly enough to our pelvic floor where the Shakti energy resides.  Our breath becomes shallow never reaching the depths below where the spark waits patiently to be lit. 

The Universe is a willing and available partner.  Make a standing date to keep the pilot light burning.  It can be entire evenings, lazy afternoons or stolen moments during the day. 

As you sit reading this  note, spread the knees away from each other, and notice where your attentions goes. Take a bath with lavender and salts by candlelight.  Turn on your most sensual music and move to its rhythm.  Get drunk from the smell of roses and warm from the blaze of the fire.  Stand under the full moon and draw down her power.  Look up to let the stars sparkle in your eyes.  Face the sun spread your arms wide and shine back with all of your heart. Let the beauty of the sky at sunset bring you to tears.

Get dirty….really dirty.  Wear what makes you feel sexy, or nothing at all.  Close your eyes and feel the full body embrace of the wind.  Let the hoot of the owl touch you at your very center, and the bitter cold make you shiver.  Let the night noises lull you to sleep.   Lie down spread eagle on the floor in the middle of the room.  Place your hands on your belly and send the breath down ….down….down.   Notice your pelvic floor often.

Life is to be lived.  Felt.  Explored.  Swallowed.  Tasted. 

Make love to the Universe.  Only you will know……

Mmmmmmmm………………..
SARAH

......the planned pause

Yogis,

Do you find it irritating when you drive up behind a car that is stopped because the driver is asking directions?  Begin to tap your foot when the person in front of you in line has to run back to grab one more item or can’t find their coupons? 

Does your heart quicken when  the person you are with says they have to stop for one small errand, or mumble under your breath when the receptionist answers with ‘can I put you on hold for a moment?’.  And how about when the internet goes down?

We hate to pause. 

We move so quickly through our days that any yield sign in our path can set us off.   It’s that old natural law of ‘a body in motion wants to stay in motion’.  And we are all in motion.  Stop signs, red lights and traffic….oh my.

But it is in the pause that life unveils its depth and brilliance.

So over this past month of classes we have been practicing the pause.  Yes it does take practice!  And it isn’t easy.  For some, more difficult than others.

In yoga we do a pose leading with the right foot or arm, and then repeat it on the left.  Bringing balance to the body.  But just like the highway of life we become programmed to move from right immediately to left.  Auto pilot.  We “know” where we are going and head there. 

But I have been inserting a pause.  Not a slow down like cruising in at low speed toward a red light hoping it changes before we have to stop…… but an actual landing in stillness and being there, for a while, before moving on.  Closing the eyes and landing.  The pose of stillness.  I think I will name it ‘stop-asana’ and it is definitely a level 3 pose.

Fidgeting.  Taking that moment to readjust clothing.  A quick sip of water.  Wondering why the heck we aren’t moving on to the other side.  Irritation.  A waste of time.  Why are we stopping?  I have things to do!   Aaargh!!

…..life happens in the pause.  When we become perfectly still all of our senses heighten.  We feel, hear, see and smell more deeply.  We suddenly awaken to what is right here and what is right here is pretty amazing.  Floating in the sea of stillness - the container that holds everything we do. 

This week watch how you react to unplanned pauses and plan some conscious pauses (stopasana) in your day.  Perhaps whenever you get in your car and close the door, you sit still for 10 seconds before turning the ignition.  Or after you finish brushing your teeth  you simply stand at your sink and breathe.  Stay seated at the table in silence for 15 seconds after you finish your meal or when you check yourself out in the mirror after dressing, stand still and hold the gaze longer than usual.    

At first it can make you feel anxious, just like the car driving 50 ahead of you in the fast lane.  But as you land and breathe a letting go will begin to happen.  Eventually your energy slows and sinks downward.  You become rooted and centered.  You have arrived.

This is the earth energy………………..

My conscious pause for today was an hour massage,
SARAH

the weekend that wasn't

Yogis,

If you live on the east coast you probably felt and lived through what I am writing about today.  If you don’t, you have at some other point in time.

Everything was planned. I was to leave town Friday at 1. All of the schedules set, bags packed, reservations made and my vision of the weekend clear. Then Hurricane Joaquin came into our lives.  She set change in motion.

The weekend that didn’t happen……..

But honestly it wasn’t even Joaquin. It was the nor’easter ahead of her and the flurry of news reports surrounding the approaching weather.Talk of heavy rains, wind and flooding. Warnings and dire predictions.

So the hemming and hawing began in earnest on Thursday. Should we go? Should we cancel? What if we go and have to come back? The back and forth of calls and emails. The uncertainty. Everything now up in the air and me blowing in the wind. And it certainly wasn’t just me feeling it. Cancellations of most activities, events, and even the moving of college football game times. The winds of change had arrived.

So in the blink of an eye, once the decision to cancel was made, I went from a full weekend to a completely blank two days ahead of me.  Absolutely nothing on the agenda. Nothing! Joaquin had cleared the slate.  Saturday and Sunday staring at me and asking what choices I would make to fill them. The Weather Channel's 'Cone of Uncertainty'- I emotionally was in it.

I wanted to choose with purpose. So what did I do first? I headed out to do all of the things I don’t enjoy and had been putting off. Got the hair colored and cut, spent an hour and half utterly overwhelmed in a shoe warehouse, and went bra shopping (the absolute worst!!!!). But because I chose to do these and there was no clock to live by I could move slowly, with purpose and watch. 

Sunday I chose to face a couple of small fears and raised my hand to guest teach in a new yoga studio in the city this week so headed down to get the lay of the land, and then took Phoebe for a long walk in the woods were I could test her off leash.

I gave an impromptu healing session to one friend and had another over for some tea and soul searching. I took all of the veggies in the frig and made soup.

How often do we have that chance?  Extended time with absolutely nothing we have to do and nowhere we have to be.  Receiving the gift of mindful choosing. I feel as if I chose well. 

Om,
SARAH

......the pope wave

Yogis,

You know the wave they do at big sporting events?  The one where  a few people stand up and wave their arms up into the air and then back down, followed by those next to them, and then those next to them. 

It takes a while to get it going.  First everyone has to notice that it is happening, then they have to decide to join in, and finally the timing has to be just right.  But when that all comes together it is a rush of energy that connects everyone there.

The pope’s visit reminded me of that.

This week began on Monday with International Peace Day and in last week’s blog I suggested that we all take a few moments that day to send out the energy of peace.  The following day the pope arrived.

I didn’t attempt the trek down into the city, but I could feel his presence right away.  Most were told to work from home so there was a pause in traffic and the frenzied DC rush.  The tv, newspaper and radio chronicled  his journey while  others who had been physically near him shared their stories. Everyone arriving  to classes with thoughts on his visit.  There was suddenly a lightness to the air.  An excitement. The wave had made its way into the suburbs. 

Possibly I felt the wave because I just completed leading the fourth week of Thank you September! – a month of guided meditation and gratitude. Or maybe it was these last two weeks of extremely deep heart opening movements that we did in classes.  Or perhaps we are all just finally ready to hear something new. 

No words of toughening, but instead of softening.  No speeches on the greatness of some, but of the good in all.  Compassion for others, not protecting ourselves.  Connections vs walls.  An open hand.  Tolerance. Love. Peace. A breath of fresh air.  The wave had brought a sense of hope. 

I noticed.  I decided I wanted to participate……..and I felt like the timing was perfect.  My arms are up in the air!  NY you were next and now it is Philly’s turn.  Have you felt it where you are?  Are you joining in?

I am at the beach and just returned from the store. A gay gentleman in front of me in line was saying ‘Pope for president’.  The wave has definitely made it to Delaware.

….posting a little early so I can go and watch the full moon rise!

There will only be peace when we find peace within ourselves,
SARAH

....what you send comes right back

Yogis,

Here I am.   Twenty days into the thirty days of meditation and gratitude that I am currently leading.  I am reminded how whenever you teach something, you learn.  Because whatever you send out comes back to you……………..

Our focus this month has been on noticing what we are sending out. We are energy beings and every thought, emotion, action and intention emits a unique energy vibration. A frequency which attracts the same frequency back toward you. Like attracts like. 

However when we live our lives unconsciously, it feels as if these things are happening to us, instead of us choosing to create them.  That is where meditation comes in.  Meditation is a pause. By taking a specified time every single day to sit and notice, we start to see our habits. We watch the stream of thoughts that pour through our minds becoming intimate with them, and recognizing what vibration we are sending out. Learning to observe without attaching. 

We each are made up of all of them…..anger, joy, frustration, calm, love, fear, anxiety, compassion. They each make us ‘feel’ different. So which of them do you want to cultivate and which do you choose to diminish?

The other night I was thinking of a friend and suddenly found myself feeling jealousy.  Not a sensation that feels very pleasant.  It would be easy to add in a story –  she looks better, has more, gets life handed to her, blah, blah, blah.  Until the whole evening now has a negative feel to it and I feel small.

Or when this happens – you notice (it’s a big step just to notice!!), watch it without judgment or a story, let it fade, and choose which vibration you want to replace it with.  At that moment I chose gratitude for all that I have and for her friendship, shifting my awareness into my heart until I could feel a spark of gratitude energy and then sending it out into the space in front of me. Being grateful draws more things to be grateful for right back. Now that feels a whole lot better!

Tomorrow, 9/21, is International Peace Day.  Everyone says that they want peace, but what does the vibration of peace feel like?  If we want peace for ourselves, in our lives and even in our world, we all must begin to vibrate at the frequency of peace.  Everyone.  We have to choose peace.  Let’s try it tomorrow! Whenever you catch yourself with a thought or energy that does not bring you peace….. stop, notice, watch, let it fade and tune into your peace vibration.  Send it out in to the world! 

Just imagine if everyone in the world did that tomorrow at the same time……

We can create anything that we want,
SARAH

.....I never kill a bug

Yogis,

I never kill a bug.

I have never been a big bug killer and I still remember my father carrying spiders outside. But I did keep a trusty can of Raid under the sink, swatted some flies and have been known to throw my shoe at a spider. In college my closet had camel crickets and I would spray them with Lysol (not exactly sure why…but not sure about a lot of the things I did in college). 

But I have noticed over these last several years that the longer I follow yogic practices, the further away I become from being able to take the life of an insect. To take the life of anything really. It doesn’t feel right.

Bee in my office – I open the windows get a broom and escort her out. Stinkbugs get scooped up in my hand and shown the door. Small beetles that somehow end up in my sink or tub and have spent all night climbing up the side only to slide back down, get handed a tissue to use as a ladder.  As ants arrive in the spring I find their path and sprinkle it with cayenne pepper which sends them marching right back out.  Bugs eating my garden - I look for companion plantings that discourage that particular insect. 

But what about mosquitoes?? I'm sure you give them a good slap when they land?  No, I simply shoo them away and kindly ask them to let me be.  Yes, really.   I actually energetically send out a message with my body.  Does that mean I never get bit?  No, but a lot less often.  And you know what?  Even when you get a lot of bites, they itch for an hour and then go away.  Killing mosquitos as they land on you is never going to end mosquito bites.  They need to eat too….and I have allowed the bats to nest in my eaves to keep the life cycle complete. 

It works with gnats as well.  This summer I actually made a study of observing people and their interaction with gnats.  When gnats are heavy I get stiller and again ask them to keep some distance.  Most people move and  swat and curse and try to kill them.  Many times they even go back inside.  You know what?  They get landed on a lot more than me.  Try it.  Get very still and relax.  Notice how they circle but don’t do a whole lot more than that when left alone to be gnats.  That which you resist……persists.

So this morning as I woke up I knew this was what I was going to write about.  I walked into my closet to get my yoga clothes and as I reached down a large striped spider ran onto my yoga bra.  Ahh!! Very funny Universe.  Testing me with something more challenging I see……   I took a deep breath.  But a bag next to him which he ran up.  Carried the bag ever so slowly (keeping a very close eye on him lest he decide to run up the bag and onto my arm), opened the window and set him on the ledge.  It felt right. 

Never is a such strong word.  Not one I am sure I can actually live up to…..but it is my intention.  And intention is what matters.

Saw my first praying mantis in the garden!

Making peace with all beings,
SARAH

....hills

Yogis,

It began on Friday.   What will I write about this week? 

I have been on vacation and in that mode of waking each morning only to that day.  Gliding through….run, tea, yoga, putter, beach, shower, drink on the deck, dinner, walk through town, bed.  Not looking back, but also not looking ahead.  So what was I going to write about on Sunday?

Each week there is some moment in time where the story begins to reveal itself.  But not this week.  Not on Friday.  Not on Saturday.  Not on Saturday night.  The whole night as I slept my dreams were new ideas floating up and then proceeding to pop like an air bubble.  Ugh, I will have to bring my pc to the beach and hope something comes to me.  But what if it doesn’t????? 

Oh no, my mind began to think – Writers Block!!!  It did feel like that.  Each idea hitting a brick wall - one after another.

So this morning in meditation I remembered what I teach.  I sat still.  I emptied my thoughts.  I stopped ‘trying’ so darn hard and asked and trusted that the Universe, as it always does, would guide me.  (just a note that after seven years this still takes a leap of faith for me…)

An hour later I am running and pass a beautiful blond and young guy at the bottom of a hill.  They were about to head up and I am coming down.  Obviously she was newer to running and he was coaching her along.  She was yelling “I don’t want to do this!” as he turned her up the hill.  She was laughing and loudly asking not to have to go up.  She yelled to me “you are heading downhill” to which I responded that I would very shortly be heading back up. 

‘Hills are your friend!’ I wanted to yell back to her as I would always remind my running group in our training runs for the marathon.  ‘Hills are what make you strong!!’

That was it, as the story came pouring in.  Crystal clear. 

Life is a series of hills.  Our challenges.  You may be heading up a steep incline and I may be breezing down a slow long slope.  But neither of us should become attached or begin to think that this is how life is, because in a blink of an eye you will be on the even flats and I will be putting my head down to climb again.    My supposed writer’s block was one such hill.  This time it was a mere bump and not a mountain, but who knows what the next one will be like.  Our hills are what bring us growth.  Challenge us to reach our potential.  Create our expansion.  Our greatness.  Without them we would be flat. 

So I will continue to remind myself over and over that ‘Hills are my friend!’......especially when they don’t feel like it.

No PC at the beach today – Thank you Universe,
SARAH

.......allowing life

‘Thank you September’ begins Tuesday!  Still time to sign up!  If you are on the fence…..take a chance and jump on over.

Yogis,

The other night in class everyone was dropped into resting half pigeon.  A pose of letting go, but one that can be quite uncomfortable for many.  The set up can be challenging for those with tight knees or hips, but the key to then being “in the pose” is to spend the next two minutes, just you and your breath,  allowing the body to sink down.

“Allow everything to be as it is”….. I said.  As the words came out of my mouth I heard them differently than I had ever heard them before.  Time stood still for just a second.

“Allow everything to be just as it is”   AAHHHHHH!!!!   But that is soooooo darn hard!!

The practice of yoga is merely a practice for life.  What we do on the mat is only as good as our ability to do it out in the world.  We focus on our breath in half pigeon and let that left outer hip talk loudly to us while we continue to focus on watching the discomfort without reacting.  Being with things as they are.

But out in the world!  Now that is another whole story.  How can I possibly be with everything exactly as it is???  I am not sure I can do that for even the two minutes we are in a pose, much less for a full day, week or month. 

Stop for a moment and say to yourself  - I am letting everything be EXACTLY as it is – look around and see what that feels like.  Everything.  My kids, my dog, my body, my job.   I notice my shoulders drop six inches as if a heavy weight suddenly rolled off.  An exhale escapes.

I had a song in my playlist last week called  ‘I will fix you’ and every time it played I was reminded how I catch myself trying to ‘fix’ others.  You know what I mean?  If only my son understood that……..  If only my husband would eat more ………  If she just realized what meditation could do for her.  If my friend would focus more.  Exercise more.   Once I teach them ……..  Basically – if everyone could be a little more like me J

We try to fix others, the house, the world, the way things work.  Do we ever stop for a moment and allows things to be exactly as they are?  Accept others as they are.  Allow mistakes.  Smile at frustration.  Gaze at our naked body in the mirror without one judgment.  Be ok with the hum of the Universe. 

I not suggesting that we don’t want change.  That is human nature and we are infinite creators. Change is dynamic and unending.  But what my lesson from the Universe was this week is that first we must “Allow everything to be as it is”.  When we can do that, even for moments at a time, our lens clears.  We see everything as it is – warts and all – not how we want it to be.  We befriend it.   And from that clarity we move forward.  Maybe, just maybe, not needing to ‘fix’ quite so much.

Allowing life,
SARAH

INVITATION - Thank You September!

Yogis,

September is right around the corner and you can already feel her presence……cooler nights, yellowing plants, scurrying squirrels, acorns underfoot and buds on the goldenrod.   A time of transition.  A time of harvest.  A time of reflection.  A time for thanks!!

Join me in a month of meditation and gratitude!

…..did you know that cultivating gratitude can increase happiness and improve health?

Jump on board for our third annual September month of meditation.

When:      September 1 (Tuesday!) – September 30

What:       Daily emails with guidance on how to meditate and practices for awakening gratitude

Where:    The comfort of your own home

Cost:        $20 ($25 for two in the same family) – check or Paypal

How:        Simple!  Just send the email you would like me to use to sarah@serenitycircleyoga.com            

What is asked of you:

Reading the email you receive each morning and 10 minutes of meditation daily!  Choosing to do the activities is optional but lovingly suggested to feel the greatest benefits J

Did you know that practicing gratitude can lower cholesterol, help you with sleep and improve your relationships?

Take the step as we together grow our “gratitude muscle” and have fun doing it…..all while making meditation a habit. 

Let me know if you want to participate!    All I need is an email and you will be put on my ‘Thank You September’ email DL with a lot more info to follow!  And please invite any family or friends who you think may enjoy this, or may benefit.  I would just need their emails!

Any questions?  Please ask!

Thankful for the incredible moon I just saw on my walk,
SARAH

......let's all take a pause

Yogis,

This week I offer more of an exercise than a writing.  It once again has to do with the pause.  So slow down…….

Become still.

Let’s all take a pause right now.  Visualize that we are all doing this together…..because we are.  As I write this I can feel all of you coming toward this pause.  And now you are in it with me.  Hi there!

Notice first how your body is feeling.  Any aches or pains?  Any holding in the shoulders?  What about that jaw or your fingers?  Any fidgeting?  Ask your body to relax and watch as a wave of relaxation slowly flows down from the head all the way to the toes.  Feel the temperature of the air on your skin.  Your feet where they touch the ground.

Slowing down.

See the room you are in.  The colors and textures.  The way you have placed things around you.

Open to hear what sounds are around you.  Listen.  First the ones that are close, and then reach for those further away. 

Arriving here.  In this moment.  Noticing now.

Observe your breath.  The rising of the inhales and the fall of each exhale.  The breath.  An ever present, patient and free, teacher that draws you inward.  You.  Here.  Now. 

Right now it doesn’t matter what your job is.  It isn’t important what kind of car you drive or where you live.  How much money you make or whether you have a twitter account is of little interest. The project due next Wednesday and the presidential debate are irrelevant .  Right now it doesn’t matter who you had an argument with this week or that you don’t like your new haircut.  To do list, parties, school supplies and the score of the game.

All of that is on the outside.  All swirling about and impermanent. Maya……illusion.  It isn’t you.

 Pause. 

Drop back in.  Watch the breath as it traces your center.  Only here can you touch what is true and unchanging.  It is asking you to slow down and take a pause.  Arriving here.  Now.

You……. still.  The haze of daily life circling around you.  Here.  Now.  All ok.

Notice.

Closing my eyes to immerse myself into the richness of now,
SARAH