....it's only five minutes

Yogis,

A five minute free standing headstand. That is the requirement in Iyengar yoga to move up to the next level  class.  Five full long never ending minutes.

I have always thought that was silly. What did standing on your head for five minutes show?  I have been able to do a headstand since I was a little girl, long before I ever even heard the word yoga.  It didn’t appear to be a path to enlightenment.  I’m sure I can do five minutes but why would I want to? What does that prove? I remember even voicing this thought to others when the topic of Iyengar was raised.  It was one of the things that even held me back from practicing Iyengar yoga.

Many times over the last several years I would be up in headstand and say to myself that I was going to stay for five minutes, but after about two I would come down.  I can do it, I would say to myself.  I’m just not going to right now. 

What was that all about?  A whole lot of judging going on there about something I had never actually tried.

We do that in life all the time. ‘I could meditate if I chose to….I’m just not choosing to’. ‘I can choose to eat a healthy diet, and will as soon as the holidays are over’.  ‘I know I am able to take on more responsibility in work and someday I am going to raise my hand’. 

Could it be that deep down I am not sure if I really can stay up there that long, and not sure I want to uncover that or put it to the test?

So a few weeks ago I decided it was time to choose it.  Not talk about it or think about it, but choose it and step forward.  Each day I would go up and after about 3 minutes I would come down.  Was it because my arms got tired or I felt dizzy?  No. What I began to notice was that it was simply my inner dialog kicking into gear telling me I should come down now, and it would get louder and louder until I finally listened.  My mind was calling the plays and ‘I’ was listening. Who needs to do this anyway?

Huh.  Headstand was calling my bluff. 

Today I tried again with clear intention.  Checked my phone. 10:40.  ‘I’ took a deep breath, kicked up, found alignment and came into stillness.  I watched.  And watched.  And watched.  I saw my plants and my books from a unique perspective.  I listened to the words of the song.  I felt my heartbeat.  I noticed when I began to slouch and drew in my core and sent my legs higher.  My mind began its work, but ‘I’ chose not to listen but to breathe instead.  Steady. Still.  Being present without trying to muscle my way through or distract myself.  Finally when it felt right, and not when my mind told me to, I lowered down.

10:48!

Where else in life am I all talk and no action?  If I can stand on my head for 8 minutes what else can I do?  Am I willing to face fears and possible embarrassment to find growth?

This isn’t about being in a headstand.  It’s about being real and honest with yourself and stepping into your highest potential.   And this step took me six years.  But who is counting J

Watching,
SARAH