.....single moments

Yogis,

Sending this out a little early before everyone dives head first into the holidays……………

I believe I was about 12.  Living in Georgia in a house on a wooded cul-de-sac.  We had a big finished basement where my friends and I spent much of our time.  One room with a shag carpet and a built in bar where we did quite a bit of dancing in our knee high go-go boots.  A family type room which was rarely used for some reason.  And finally one with a black and white checked carpet that held the ping pong table and my many generations of hamsters.

I can remember the moment like it was yesterday.  Our whole family was in that family room watching slides.  Remember them?  My dad would take pictures – everyday ones, events, trips – and they would be developed into slides which we would watch one by one on a screen that we set up. 

It was a simple picture of a neighborhood Siamese cat curled up asleep on our back deck.  He would do that often even though, or maybe because, my mom is not a fan of cats (animals always seem to know).  So this picture goes up and a small voice inside of me says ‘Notice this moment.  Notice what it feels like to be you.  You looking at this picture in this room at this age.  Remember this moment so when you are older you can see if “you” are the same.’……..or something to that effect. Time stood still.

It was as if the Universe scooped me up for that single moment in time to share a thought, and then set me gently back down into my 12 year old life so I could get back to writing the rules for the new girls club I was forming. I remember it so clearly.

When we look back through our lives what we remember most are the moments. Not the weeks, or trips or parties, or ceremonies…..but single moments within them. When time briefly stands still and life becomes vivid for just that moment. These may be the moments of pure joy or those of sudden overwhelming grief …..  But often they are ordinary moments that for some reason awakened us from our daze. The rest are more like a blurred swirl of colors and shapes which create a patchwork of your life.

So here we are in the holidays. All of the shopping and preparation is done. Everything we have been ‘getting ready for’ is now about to happen. Let’s awaken to at least one of the moments in this current swirl that is passing through.

Find one time in the midst of it all this week to stop. Completely. Close your eyes and notice your breath. Hear the sounds around you.  Open your eyes and ‘see’. Watch the slide of your life for just one moment. No thoughts. Simply being. Noticing what it is like to be ‘you’, at this age, in this place, watching. You observing you. 

Then go back and have some more pie.

I miss those go-go boots,
SARAH

....old man winter

Yogis,

No matter how many years fall turns to winter, it catches me by surprise every time. This was the week old man winter paid a sudden visit to our area. 

Thursday the temperatures plummeted. Friday began in the teens and only inched itself up into the twenties, with an unforgiving stiff breeze, and finishing off with a light coating of freezing rain. A walk around the block left my face and fingers numb. But he can be a little fickle. Saturday and Sunday brought balmy temperatures once more, but he is back in town this evening.  

It’s as if I got a tap on the shoulder and turned to find him winking at me. ‘You didn’t forget me, did you?’ he seems to say.  But the truth is I had. I had forgotten once again the bite he can deliver. That desire to dive back into bed and pull the covers up over my head.  No amount of layers keeping me from shivering.  

It reminds me of when I went into labor with my second son.  My first experience had been like most first births……. 24 hours long and amazingly painful. It took a few years for the memory to fade. Thinking I remembered what it felt like, but I didn’t. Which is why second and third children exist……  But that first labor pain with my second child was like the tap on the shoulder bringing it all rushing back in. ‘You didn’t forget me, did you?’ But honestly I had. 

This week in my Friday night ‘time for me’ as I stuck my body out the bedroom window I braced for the bitter cold.  I closed my eyes to breathe it in. As I opened them back up I noticed how once again, with all of the leaves down and the air so clear, I can see the houses that surround me.  Together the back of our homes form a circle with the woods as our center.  All of us with back walls comprised mainly of glass.  Close enough to be able to sense movement and life within each, but just far enough that none of us feel compelled to limit our view with any curtains.  A community – yet we haven’t met.  All waking each day to the same view and falling asleep to the same noises. When the leaves fill back in…..I  will once again forget. 

As I lean out, my heart racing, exhilarated by the cold on my skin I can hear the scamper of the fox playing. I know the squirrels are all burrowed deep in their nests high in the trees. I sense our small herd of deer will pass through soon. They too can now see us all. 

And old man winter is right in there smiling.  ‘Time for us all to get reacquainted’ he says with a wink. 

Now I remember,
SARAH

.....turning thing upside down

Yogis,

I was listening to an NPR podcast on my drive to the beach this weekend. It described how human nature is to respond in a complementary way to how words or actions are directed toward us. The whole ‘like attracts like’ idea. If someone is being kind to you, you are kind back. When someone is angry and hurls hostile words in your direction, you instinctively tense up and return the favor.

But they went on to talk about what is referred to as ‘noncomplementary behavior’.  Noncomplementarity. Acting in the reverse of what is expected in the situation and how this turns everything on its head. 

The story was of a group of friends having a casual evening outdoor dinner when an armed man makes his way in and points his shotgun directly at each of them demanding all of their money.  But they have none. What would you do next? Knowing this was not going to end well one of them calmly and warmly asks the man to join them for a glass of wine. He does and within a short time he is asking them for hugs and leaves without any violence.

When we respond in a complementary way, we charge the energy by adding in more of the same.   Feeding fire with fire.  Noncomplementarity however, acts as a diffuser sending the opposing charge and can suddenly neutralize the energy of the moment. Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Buddha, Jesus…….they all showed us this path. And since the election I have been reading stories of this in action as we all try to find the common ground. 

I was thinking what better time than the holiday season to put this into practice!  Traffic, long lines, corporate end of year, shopping and the inevitable tension it all builds spilling into our every day events.  How about turning it upside down by pouring in joy at times where that may be the furthest thing from the mind? Not easy but I am ready to look for opportunities to give it a try!

It requires first noticing the energy of reacting. That urge to ‘get back at’ or have the last word. Or even to remain silent but stew in the negativity. Then taking a conscious breath and shifting your emotions from frustration or anger to joy. Acting from a place of joy.

The person grumbling behind you in line …..offer to let them go in front of you.  The angry driver who has been tailgating you for the last 5 miles……pay their toll when you come to the booth.  The cashier who clearly isn’t having a good day and letting you know it…….look closer and find a kind word to share. The homeless man that you know is going to be at the corner, instead of crossing the street with your eyes down, come prepared with a sandwich. 

I am reminded of one holiday season when I carried some chocolate bars tied with red ribbons and handed them out randomly. I may have to bring that back.

This is about changing your own frequency when faced with adversity. Tuning into a new note and sending it out to others. Guiding the energy back to the common humanness that exists in every situation. 

Turning the world upside down…..one person at a time,

SARAH

.....nothing new

Yogis,

Hi!  “How are you?”   Good I respond.  

“What’s new?”   Uhmmmm….nothing really, I say. 

Sound familiar?  A standard conversation. Chit chat. Yet lately it is becoming a little too familiar for me……………………..

“What’s new with you?”  A simple question.

The old standby……jumping right into what’s new with the kids, what’s new at the company, what’s new in the house.  All great sharing, but what is new with me?

This past week as I had this very conversation yet again, for some reason it was as if I was observing it from afar.  Seeing myself doing a quick mental scan to find what was new and coming up with “no matches found”. And realizing that this had become a new norm. Suddenly I felt stuck. In a rut.  Like the needle in a record where the same line plays over and over and over.

We all know that with water when we place boundaries around it, restricting the inward and outward flow, it stagnates. It loses its life force. We are no different, and sometimes we too need a little plunging.  

You can feel when you are in life’s flow.  Letting go of the old is done with ease and each day offers new sights, sounds and sensations. When I am in this place I can’t wait to get up in the morning to see what the new day will bring and I am equally as excited to go to bed to dream about all that I experienced. Right now I am not feeling that.

I could say that nothing new has come my way, but that is a cop out. The Universe is an infinite provider of all that is new each and every moment of each and every day, but you have to be listening and have the gates open. For some reason, I am not listening. 

You know when you are having a discussion with someone and as they speak you are forming your entire response in your head.  You hear them but you aren’t truly absorbing any of  it since you already know what you believe and what you want to say. Notice it next time you are talking. Well, that is what I have been doing with the Universe right now.

Brand new ideas float by, people suddenly appear in your life, yet another brochure for that class you insist you are going to take some day arrives in the mail, someone suggests a book you may like, a new position opens at work………oh I don’t have time .….I can’t afford that….. I want to but……  All the typical artificial boundaries we erect at times which hold us cemented in place.  Often it is fear that keeps us in the comfortable, but that comfortable eventually begins to feel like a shirt that has shrunk a size or two. 

So I am telling the Universe ‘I am ready to move again!’ Asking for guidance. And listening.  Listening with my whole body for signs on which way to turn. 

As I walked out in the cold to the garden with new open eyes I spotted the bunny above nestled in under my mint. Animals are one of life’s many messengers so I looked up its meaning….

Rabbit:

“This is a very creative time for you, so it’s important to quickly take advantage of any opportunity that comes your way unexpectedly. You’ve been feeling sedate and lacking in vitality and want to perk yourself up”

NiceJ

An ‘open’ sign now placed on the crown of my head,
SARAH