......another world

Yogis,

People often call February a gray month, but in reality it is the color brown I see when I look around.  Every imaginable shade of brown. Yet there is one thing that remains green……..moss.

Lately as I walk through the woods I have been noticing moss.  I guess when there is a splash of color the eye is drawn.  Or perhaps it is the aliveness still present in an otherwise seemingly lifeless landscape that is calling me to draw near.  Whatever it is, moss has waved and gotten my attention.

When walking by with my eyes 5 feet off the ground, it all appears quite similar.  A close-cut blanket of green on the lower bark of a tree, the edge of a rock, a rotting log.  Until you get close.  Real close……..

There you find another world. 

I have learned that there are over 12,000 species of moss, and that they lack roots, stems and flowers.  It is the closest relative to the first plant to live on land 500 million years ago. Moss was used as bandages and for healing wounds during the First World War.  Live moss was used to insulate boots in cold climates and dried moss helped heat homes. Some of the earliest forms of diapers even contained moss since it can absorb twenty times its weight in liquid.  Can you imagine?

Moss will also indicate where there is pollution as it only can grow in clean environments.  Glad to see all the moss in my yard!

I have been getting close.  Real close…….to learn. Taking my phone camera to its highest zoom setting, getting down on the ground and seeing.  And what I see is amazing. 

Who knew?  And how many other worlds are there that I walk by each and every day lost in thought, without even a second glance.

I feel so blessed to have been given a life time to walk on this incredible earth we call home.  How do I allow myself to be drawn 5 feet up, away from its magic, into the illusionary world of drama, fear and distrust, when it lies waiting at my feet each morning as they touch the floor. 

A friend recently sent me a quote.  ‘The answer may not be at the beach, but shouldn’t we at least check?’ I had walked along the ocean that very morning and responded that yes, I had checked and my answers that day were indeed found there.  And they are found in the woods, along the river and deep inside the moss. 

The answers we are all seeking will not be found in our heads.

Get close…..real close.

In awe,

SARAH

.....until it becomes a burden

Yogis,

One of the items on my ‘things I love about winter list’ is how deserted the beach is when we go there for walks.  Phoebe can be off leash, chasing birds and stretching out her legs without a soul in site.  Sometimes I bring a ball to throw for her.

She is part retriever and therefore does ‘part’ of the retrieving process.  She runs like the wind to go get it, skidding ungracefully in the sand and diving in to scoop up the prize. Then when she is supposed to bring it back, she doesn’t.  She carries it around and stays a comfortable distance away. I will eventually get it from her each time and then we repeat the process. 

She loves when we bring the ball. The ball brings her joy……until it doesn’t. The longer we walk the more tired her mouth becomes from carrying it. She will lay down, dropping it but keeping a close paw on it just in case. Every pile of seaweed and shells that she desperately wants to sink her nose in requires placing the ball in a spot where she can both sniff and keep watch.  I eventually sense that I should take the ball and put it in my pocket to set her free. The ball has become a burden.

Are we any different?  We acquire many ‘balls’ that bring us joy…...until they too become a burden. The big house. The nice cars, with equally nice payments.  Jewelry, clothes, electronics. They make us feel so good when they first arrive. But then we must house them, clean them, pay for them and keep one close paw on them in case anyone tries to take them. They, like the ball, at times become a burden.

When I first met my teacher she asked a group of us “How would you be if suddenly everything was gone?” I ponder this often and my deepest self knows I would be fine. Yet as I work to clear out my own home I find myself holding something up that I no longer need but still place it back where it was due to some memory, or potential some day in the future possible use. Sigh. Attachments.

It got me thinking. Wouldn’t it be nice if we each had someone who would sometimes notice and put it all in their pocket for a while so we could run free? Untethered, with nothing binding us to one spot.  Free to follow our heart and run like the wind…..

How would you be if suddenly everything was gone? 

Softening my grip, 
SARAH

......me watching me

Yogis,

As everyone including me knows, your first colonoscopy should be at the age of 50.  Last month I turned 56 and still test less.  I didn’t want to do it.

I wasn’t necessarily afraid of the test itself, although visualizing the actual procedure makes my arm hairs stand up, but everyone’s description of the prep had me running for the hills.  I am not a naturally thirsty person, so the thought of quickly having to drink 16oz of anything, much less something unpleasant, turned my stomach.  But last year my gynecologist looked me in the eye and said, “get it done before you come back next year” and here I was at yet another birthday.  So I made the call. 

I was picturing having weeks to mentally prepare but they had a cancel for only 4 days later.  I took a deep breath and the appointment.  I decided then that I would use the experience as an opportunity to observe myself.  To watch the stories, thoughts and resistance that were bound to appear. 

I want to share a few things from me observing me……

The appointment was Tuesday afternoon meaning Monday was prep day.  I found myself on Sunday thinking ahead to the next day.  ‘I am going to be starving…… how am I going to drink that…… I am going to be spending the whole night in the bathroom…..I will be exhausted’.  Hijacking a relaxing day at the beach house with worries of the future.

Nope. Having none of that, as I took my virtual eraser and wiped those thoughts off the chalkboard in my mind.  Replacing them with plans for long walks and images of going out to eat and watch the Super Bowl that evening. Letting Sunday be Sunday. That eraser is a tool you acquire for life’s toolbox with a steady mediation practice. Choosing thoughts.

Monday 6pm.  Noticing what it feels like to be hungry.  Sudden compassion for all of those around the world that feel this daily.  Now its time to drink.  I heard a straw is helpful (and it was).  I watched myself naturally finding a dristi (gazing point) on the wall ahead me and an internal mantra arising of ‘sip and swallow, sip and swallow’.  Slowly.  Focused. Relaxed. Over and over and over. Done. In the asana practice we use a dristi to settle the mind while holding an uncomfortable pose. Not to distract, but to focus. Steady the eyes…..steady the mind. 

Tuesday 2pm.  Lying on the prep table while the nurse takes my blood pressure and pulse.  Aware of my breath. “You seem relaxed” she says.  I look her in the eye. Huh. I guess I am. 

The doctor is running 15 minutes late and she asks if I would like a magazine.  Yes, I begin to say, thinking that will keep my mind busy……..but then, no thank you. I am going to be quiet.  I am going to be here. I look out the window next to my bed while being hydrated through the IV and watch the birds. Resting. 

When I awake from the procedure (during which I was in a deep restful sleep) I mindfully eat the animal crackers, which seemed like the most delicious ones I ever had. Memories of riding in a shopping cart in the grocery store as a toddler where my mom would give me the small red box of animal crackers with the carrying string and circus pictures on it.

Three hours later I taught my two classes.  A slow healing practice.

We don’t do yoga to be able to stand on our head. Yoga and meditation are practices to teach us how to be comfortable when things are uncomfortable.  To remain present, grounded and in touch with our inner world even when we are doing the things we don’t want to do.  When there is pain. When there is sorrow. When the world seems to tilt. I took my yoga off the mat this week.  I intend to continue doing that.

I am now in the world of post-colonoscopy,
SARAH

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......tuning into intuition

Yogis,

Ok, before I begin can I get a big round of applause for Ms Moon!!!!! The display she gifted us with all week was no less than spectacular. Here, here!

Each holiday season I give a small gift to my students. One year it was journals, another was Lavender essential oil and once it was the Yoga Sutras.  All things that have been instrumental on my own spiritual path in the hopes that others might also be moved with their use. This year it was crystal pendulums. 

As beings of energy we have intuition.  Our body and higher consciousness most often know things way before the mind does. Like when you get a sense about something before it happens. A room has a negative feeling when you enter. Or that nagging sense that there is something you should be moving forward on but you can’t get the mind to back you up.  A pendulum is one tool to help you tap into and trust that intuition.

A pendulum will guide you with yes and no questions.  Once the two of you have formed a bond, it will know your vibration for ‘yes’ and the far different note your body plays for a ‘no’.  Even when the mind cannot decide. Over time it will always move in one particular direction for ‘yes, let’s do this!’ and some other movement for ‘no, that isn’t right for me’.  

Here is a quick video to demonstrate.

Now I can hear some of you out there right now.  “That is a lot of hocus pocus……she is swinging it……that wouldn’t work if I did it…….has there been any scientific studies done on this?” But you should see some of the emails I received soon after handing them out!

“Wow!!.......That is amazing!.......It made different movements for me immediately…….How is it doing this?......That’s kind of scary!”

If you choose to bring one into your life, you first want to spend time with it to make a connection. For a couple of weeks, wear it in your pocket or keep it on your desk.  Sleep with it under your pillow. Or any other way you can give it the opportunity to sense how your body acts as you move through all of the decisions you make each day. Be patient as you get to know each other.

Then practice with simple questions that are clearly yes or no.  Keep doing this until you begin to visibly know the difference in movements. Patience.

Next work with questions that aren’t life changing.  Should I wear the green sweater today? Should I have eggs for breakfast? But then if the answer is yes…..put on that green sweater and start cracking the eggs. Heads up here– harder than it sounds. Building trust.

Over time you will feel comfortable using it for bigger life questions as a guide.  A confidante.  It will provide you with the answers that you already know deep within.

As a being of energy and light your power lies waiting for you to tap in.  Then….watch out!

I am not Fred,
SARAH