.....seeing what's possible

Yogis,
Last year our town began a beautification project. Plantings along the side of the road in the grassy strip that separates the cars from the bike/walking path. All to be done through a combination of town funds, private donations and the hard work and sweat of volunteering residents.

This year in the annual citizen associations dues letter I opted to check the box next to this project as the area in which I would be willing to get involved. As a gardener this was right up my ally. A couple of phone calls and emails later I find myself meeting in the rain with two women who were charged with showing me ‘my spot’ of responsibility and the persistent weeds that were causing them frustration.

The area runs the length of a front yard and is planted with several grasses, a few lilies and one flowering plant. But what my eye was most drawn to was all the space between the plants, covered only with mulch. Dotting this mulch were these two uninvited guests, poking their heads up, that upon closer examination I found to be quite tenacious.

When there is space, something will grow. This is a law of the Universe. We may want a clear open mulch covered space, but that isn’t how nature works.

I had two visions. One was of me out there every week in the 90-degree heat without shade resisting and battling nature. What have I gotten myself into? This clearly did not appeal to me. The second was of me placing more plants in the area that were beautiful to the eye, hardy and self sufficient…..and maybe even would spread over time. Now this I could get behind! I asked if I was allowed to plant and was answered with a resounding yes. Ok then…..

Within an hour I had gone home, dug up about 8 small bunches of black eyed susans and several strands of oregano and had them in the dirt. My vision was beginning to take shape. I decided more color was needed so I started some zinnia seeds in my indoor garden which will be ready in two weeks. I can see it.

This all got me thinking about where we are right now. So much change, upheaval and uncertainty. A historic time where much of how we have lived is being burned away (some even literally). Vacations, restaurant dining, school, human interactions all pulled back for this moment in time creating enormous space. What will we do with it?

We can wait, complain and resist, hoping things return to ‘normal’, or we can create new. We have an opportunity to choose between pulling weeds or planting a new garden. In open space human creativity thrives because there are no boundaries. A blank canvas. We need to think big!

One example. In the paper this week there was an article on Forest Schools. I have read about them in the past and they seemed like a nice idea, but. Yet here we are wondering how to teach our children and there are those with a vision that a child learns more in the outdoors, with lots of movement, fresh air and space. Hmmm.

No one seemed to be able to figure out how to reduce our unsustainable traffic growth, and here we all sit working from home. Where could this go? And after the fires of the protests extinguish there will be a cleared empty space for conversation. Will history show we pulled weeds or imagined what could be? See big.

‘Nature Abhors a Vacuum’  ~Aristotle

Om,
SARAH

.....the dance of re-entry

Yogis,
Straight…..a little to the left…..stop and wait…..a lot to the right…..dive behind the bush. The new pattern of my morning walks and runs. No longer able to tune into nature and run my straight line as I enter this land of re-entry. It feels like a new dance with steps that are unfamiliar.

In fact this whole phase we are in of re-entering the ‘new normal’, which by the way needs a much better word, feels like a dance. And as every one of us has unique moves on the dance floor (think Elaine on Seinfeld), we will each dance this path our own way.

For some, this week may be the first time you venture from the home, while others have been out and even at work through it all. It may be your first trip or your tenth trip to a grocery store as you attempt to navigate the one way arrows, which seem to make sense until what you need is only five feet inside the aisle going the wrong way and you have to take a complete lap.

Perhaps you plan to go to your hairdresser the moment the doors open, as that feels safe and nurturing to you, but your friend has stated that she believes hair salons to be ‘risky’ and will happily remain gray through the summer. Two steps forward and one step back…..cha, cha, cha.

Do I go to the beach? Will I swim in a pool? Will I eat in a restaurant? Every one of us will have different views because we come from different experiences. I may have a higher risk tolerance than you, but you may have elderly people that you interact with who must be kept safe. I may not feel threatened when told what to do and what the rules are, but you may have been intimidated as a child by the authority figures who were the very ones there to keep you safe. It is all a dance.

And as you learn your new steps and I learn mine, we will inevitably step on each others toes. Will I smile and keep dancing, or will I tell you how clumsy you are? How your dance is the wrong dance. Can I be tolerant?

We all speak of tolerance for those who are not like us, but that usually means those of different race, religion, or economic status. Here we are being given a chance to practice tolerance in our backyard and even with our own families and closest friends. Every one of them is doing the best they can with where they are at the moment. Can I smile and keep dancing my own dance without sticking my foot out to trip them?

Does that mean I have to dance with everyone? No, of course not. If your path takes you to a room practicing the rumba and what you need at this point is ballet, hang a left and keep going. But release the angst regarding their need to shake things up.

When we judge, gossip, and point fingers it is only us that struggles. In the book I am reading I came across this sentence today. “Judgment is self-abandonment.” Stay tuned in to what is true to you and live it.

I am planning to keep listening to my unique inner song and dance with joy. Hips shaking of course. 

Join me?

Om,
SARAH

.....observations on the path

Yogis,
They say it takes a month to create a habit. We have now had two. Have you noticed any new patterns? Previously untraveled paths that are now becoming more worn and familiar?  One that has developed for me over these past nine weeks is a weekly email that I send to my students.

It started out as a need to share the weekly schedule, details about Zoom, how to make payments etc, but like everything in life, it evolved. I began adding a new section which became titled ‘observations on the path’ to share some of the aware-nesses that had made themselves known over that previous week.

When we find time to be still and quiet the world reveals itself, and we have had plenty of both ingredients. Here are some things I noticed this week.

Smizing…. Once a week I go to a grocery store and I wear my mask (which by the way is now suddenly feeling more comfortable). Three things happen when you are masked. First you must enunciate more clearly, or you sound like one long mumble. Second, your volume must get turned up a notch. Add in the Plexiglass between you and the also masked cashier and your vocal cords get a real work out.  Finally, no one can see you smile.

I am not a big talker but am a big smiler. As I walk by staff in a store, I always look them in the eye and smile. For me it signals human connection, no matter what role we are playing in this life and is a thank you. So, at this time when I want more than ever to thank them for being there, they can’t see my smile.  

In come the eyes. I keep trying to smile with my eyes. It isn’t easy. Have you tried? There is much more effort and focus required and I don’t think it can be faked. I looked it up and it has a name. Smizing.

It is said that the eyes are the windows to the soul. The real you that often is hard for others to see. I am feeling like smizing requires us to be a bit more vulnerable. A bit more seen with a willingness to see more in others. I will keep practicing.

Wise Old Tree….. There is a tree down by the creek which I have probably passed a hundred times. I know I have looked at it and the way it’s roots float in air. How it reaches for the tree next to it. I can even recall taking pictures of it in the past. But this week it revealed another side.

Had this image always been there but I wasn’t open to see? Had the wind or rain caused a shift in the bark? All I know is this wise old tree tapped me on the shoulder and asked me to see and listen. And I did.

My Fox Family….. Walking Phoebe into the woods behind my house we come across one of the babies. It turns its head in our direction which happens to be stuck inside a clear plastic jar. Oh no! My mind spins. What am I supposed to do?

I, like you, have seen all those videos online of people coming to the rescue of wildlife. They make it look so easy. In real life I am alone, holding a dog on a leash with no idea of where mom fox is or what she would think of me approaching her baby. A trip to the emergency room for rabies shots did not feel appealing. I kept telling the baby, and Phoebe, to relax.

Phone calls made, neighbors arriving but the baby, with mom close behind took off. I kept checking long into the evening, slept with the window open to listen for noises and headed down again early the next morning where I found four kits playing. They allowed me to stay.

I am choosing to believe the jar had come off.

Be quiet and notice,
SARAH

.....the mom energy

Yogis,
My mom has spent some of her quarantined time going through boxes of old pictures that were passed on to them from the children of a relative. She separated them out and mailed them to those she thought should have them. In my package was one of her and me in February 1963. I was one year old. She was only 25.

Looking at the picture I try to remember what it felt like to be a toddler with the mom I had been given. My memories of back then are only of specific moments in time, but what I can say for sure is that I felt safe. Always.

There is a powerful feminine force in the Universe given the name ‘mother’. Fierce in her protection, nurturing and loving unconditionally. The one who feeds and clothes the family, tends to the sick and listens. Using her intuition to know what words are needed, when firmness is called for and even where everyone’s lost items are, without having to look.

When I would wake from a nightmare in the middle of the night, it was toward my mom that I ran, where I was allowed to lie in bed with her until the fear faded. I can still feel it. Days at school where my feelings would get hurt and I would stoically hold it in until passing through the threshold of the house, seeing her face and melting in tears. Pastina served to me when I was home sick on the couch.

She was my piano accompanist for all of the years I played violin, showed me how to make my grandmother’s famous banana cake and separate eggs, and patiently straightened my tights daily because I couldn’t stand the seam they had in the back to be off center.  She taught me to always be kind, be a good listener and never wear underwear with holes in them (because what if you got in an accident that day!)

But most importantly, she made it clear that there was nothing I could do that would diminish her love for me one iota. Mom energy…..

We all need the mom energy as we grow. For some it comes from an older sister or even outside the immediate family. A grandmother, favorite aunt or close friend. It can even be expressed through a male family member. But in some shape or form we have a primal need for the feeling of being held tightly and understood. Shielded, if only for a moment, from the hardships of life.

Fast forward to 1984.  I am now 22 and having my first son. Using my mom as an example, and all
the years I ‘mothered’ my dolls, doing my best to shower him with that same mom energy. As real-life mothers, none of us is perfect. It is a challenging role with high expectations. But if there is one thing I hope my three boys know, it is that there is nothing they could do that would diminish my love for them one iota.

Happy Mother’s Day!
SARAH

.....amazing things

Yogis,
If you look up the definition of the word ‘amazing’, here is what you find.  Causing great surprise or sudden wonder……astonishing…..startlingly impressive. It has become an overused word in our culture though. Amazing cleaning products, shoes and hairstyles. Yet when used in its truest sense, it seems to be a word we would reserve for those infrequent happenings that cause a quickening of the heart. A catch in our breath. But is it true that amazing things are infrequent?

Indeed not.

One of the phrases I love is – Every day is a chance for something amazing! But to be even more precise I should say – Every moment is a chance for something amazing! Amazing-ness surrounds us, but we are typically swimming too deep in our stream of thoughts to notice. I realized this week that I had been in that deep end. Time to step out and towel off.

Waking the next morning, opening my eyes and mentally stating to myself ‘Today is a chance for something amazing!’ Not only as words, but a belief. Seeing the blank canvas of the day ahead filled with opportunity and expecting to be astonished. Because you should expect to receive whatever you are expecting.

That day did not disappoint! In the afternoon I went mushroom hunting with Phoebe in my woods. Down in the quarry bent over examining the ground I felt something. An energy. Looking over my shoulder I find myself eye to eye with one of the foxes. Phoebe too turns to look and the three of us stare in silence. Time stood still. Thank you, Universe!

Further along on our hunt, with the fox now trailing us a comfortable distance back, I am again

stooped over when there is a tremendous swoosh over my head. I watch as an owl lands on a low limb of the tree nearby. Another stare down. His large eyes locked on me as I quietly inch closer to get a picture. His head swiveling and then honing back in on me. My heart pounding in my chest. Thank you, Universe!

Expect what you expect. I am expecting amazing things.

Five heron, four baby geese, three hawks, two vultures and a snake. A bouquet of lilacs left on my porch by a friend and blooms appearing on my sage plant for the first time. Mommy wren waking me at dawn with her song as she is now raising her family in the birdhouse below my window.

Then this morning as I stood by the river welcoming in the new day, again mentally reminding myself that ‘Today is a chance for something amazing!’ the telltale swoosh appeared once more. An owl lands on a low branch in a tree nearby and we lock eyes. What a gift. I tell her she is amazing…..

Amazing things surround us! And the more you practice stating the intention and opening your awareness, the more amazing things continue to pour in. Expect to be awed and life will gloriously comply.

Can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings,
SARAH