.....turning thing upside down

Yogis,

I was listening to an NPR podcast on my drive to the beach this weekend. It described how human nature is to respond in a complementary way to how words or actions are directed toward us. The whole ‘like attracts like’ idea. If someone is being kind to you, you are kind back. When someone is angry and hurls hostile words in your direction, you instinctively tense up and return the favor.

But they went on to talk about what is referred to as ‘noncomplementary behavior’.  Noncomplementarity. Acting in the reverse of what is expected in the situation and how this turns everything on its head. 

The story was of a group of friends having a casual evening outdoor dinner when an armed man makes his way in and points his shotgun directly at each of them demanding all of their money.  But they have none. What would you do next? Knowing this was not going to end well one of them calmly and warmly asks the man to join them for a glass of wine. He does and within a short time he is asking them for hugs and leaves without any violence.

When we respond in a complementary way, we charge the energy by adding in more of the same.   Feeding fire with fire.  Noncomplementarity however, acts as a diffuser sending the opposing charge and can suddenly neutralize the energy of the moment. Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Buddha, Jesus…….they all showed us this path. And since the election I have been reading stories of this in action as we all try to find the common ground. 

I was thinking what better time than the holiday season to put this into practice!  Traffic, long lines, corporate end of year, shopping and the inevitable tension it all builds spilling into our every day events.  How about turning it upside down by pouring in joy at times where that may be the furthest thing from the mind? Not easy but I am ready to look for opportunities to give it a try!

It requires first noticing the energy of reacting. That urge to ‘get back at’ or have the last word. Or even to remain silent but stew in the negativity. Then taking a conscious breath and shifting your emotions from frustration or anger to joy. Acting from a place of joy.

The person grumbling behind you in line …..offer to let them go in front of you.  The angry driver who has been tailgating you for the last 5 miles……pay their toll when you come to the booth.  The cashier who clearly isn’t having a good day and letting you know it…….look closer and find a kind word to share. The homeless man that you know is going to be at the corner, instead of crossing the street with your eyes down, come prepared with a sandwich. 

I am reminded of one holiday season when I carried some chocolate bars tied with red ribbons and handed them out randomly. I may have to bring that back.

This is about changing your own frequency when faced with adversity. Tuning into a new note and sending it out to others. Guiding the energy back to the common humanness that exists in every situation. 

Turning the world upside down…..one person at a time,

SARAH