....a steady flame

Yogis,

I love when we work with the water element. It pulls me out of the day to day grind to experience more. Dropping from the thinking mind deep into the feeling mind. Moving my hips and tasting life.  It just plain feels good!

So it is always bittersweet for me when it is time in class to move up to Manipura, our fire center.  Once I begin to work with fire I tend to push. I get going and start doing too much, giving it my all until I am overheated, dry and tired. Trying to ‘make things happen’. 

But that is a fire that is raging and isn’t balanced and is so easy for us to fall into. Our true fire energy when it is refined and confident is a steady flame. It is sensual, bright and warming to the soul. When used properly it is our vision and intention sent out and then ‘allowed to happen’ because we have such a solid sense of self that we don’t feel the need to push.

I have never been comfortable with building fires. I always worried that either I wouldn’t be able to get it going or that it would roar out of control and cause damage. I didn’t trust it and would sit back and always let someone else take charge. I didn’t want to get burned.

But over these past two years the Universe has nudged me to place a fire circle on my property.  First I noticed the special energy I would feel whenever entering the area overlooking the woods. Next I had the vision of a circle there. I selected the rocks and began with a small above ground fire pit a neighbor was leaving behind. Then this year I felt drawn to have something more permanent and had a stone in ground fire pit built. Oh, uh.  Now I had to learn to build fires…..

I decided I needed to practice as this pit is about 3 feet deep.  Trying first by building the fire right on the stone floor with a lot of smoke, but little success. Dragging out the grate from the inside fireplace and using various log configurations. Walking through my woods with Phoebe to gather kindling and climbing inside the pit to place everything just so and observe from various angles. Stepping outside of my comfort zone.

Last week was my big test. I hosted a fire pit party after a yoga workshop. I was able to get the fire started and keep it tended for the whole three hours. I ‘can’ build a fire!

I came out first and got it lit and then watched as everyone was slowly drawn away from the house and toward the flame. All sitting around the circle to catch up and share stories and food. People I knew and some I was meeting for the first time. Drawing us all together. Tending with just a small poke here and a log added mindfully there, just at the right moment. The fire providing the light and the warmth while we finished off the evening by roasting marshmallows.    

I am learning.  My fire circle is teaching me how to ignite my own flame and keep it tended so that I too can be the light and warmth that others are drawn to. Not needing to throw on lighter fluid because too much heat will send everyone away and burn me out. Letting my dreams, just like the fire, happen without pushing, because I am strong enough to know that they will if I simply keep looking and stepping forward. 

If I can build a fire, think of all of the other things I can do,

SARAH