....what was I thinking?

Yogis,

I woke up this morning to begin crawling my way out of the void, better known as Christmas week.  Family was packing up to head home, bags and bags of trash piled on the steps to go out and the aftermath of the holiday meals and our rainy walks strewn across the wood floors.  Dog hair like tumbleweeds and cookie crumbs mixed in with those annoying plastic pieces that hold price tags onto new clothing.  A nerf dart discovered lodged in my Buddha’s elbow.  All there as a tribute to the wonderful time had by all.

I knew my morning was to consist of preparation for the workshop I was leading at 3:00 titled ‘Finding Your Center’ and I was so far from center I didn’t even know what day of the week it was.  HEL-LO.  Who in their right mind plans to lead others in centering at the tail end of basically a 4 day slumber party for 12 (not counting the 2 dogs and baby) in their home?   Uh, oh…….

Where to begin?  What does it actually mean to ‘Find your Center’?  Is it even possible in the swirl of the holiday season….or even in our run of the mill hectic day to day lives?

If I asked you to put your hand at your center, where would it go?  For me it is the center of my torso, above the belly button and right under the ribs.  I had to start somewhere and I found this morning that the simple act of placing my hand there sparked a remembering.  A small sign pointing to the path. 

It brought me back to the couple times I took Phoebe out alone for her walk over these last couple of days.  My rain boots on and  leash latched we would cross the barrier from the Christmas carol filled house with all of its lights, laughter and aromas into the stillness of the night.  A light drizzle and oh so quiet.  Hearing my own steps as they made their way through the puddles.  Oh yeah, there is my breath!  I forgot about you!  Everything suddenly slowing way down.  The bare branches so stark against the foggy sky and one time a sudden parting of the clouds to reveal the full moon.  On our return we would step back through the barrier right into the thick of Christmas mayhem and jump in without missing a beat. 

What was it in those walks that felt so centering? 

I don’t proclaim to have all of the answers but I will share the ones that steered me inward today.  Try them on for size:

·         Stopping.  Simply stopping.  Everything.  Movement, breath, thoughts.  Suddenly stopping….for a few seconds.  Then going back to what you were doing.  Absolute stillness.

·         Quiet.  Turning everything off, including your own voice.  In the quiet our center speaks.

·         Watching the breath.  Visualizing a line through the center of the body where the inhale traces it up and the exhale traces it back down.  The breath is the compass.  When it zigzags, so do we.

·         Heading outside ….I am sitting in my rock circle as I write this

·         Closing your eyes giving the other senses a chance to share in your experience.  The chimes in the distance.  The breeze through my hair.  The birds chirping because it is 70 degrees.

All of the above lead us to one place…. To Noticing this moment.  When we choose to notice this moment we stop.  We become so quiet we can hear our breath.  All of our sense awaken and everything  becomes crystal clear.  We….as the observer of this moment…..are our center. 

Our center isn’t a physical place.  It is our very essence. It is always there, we are just sometimes distracted.  It is who we are. 

And I……………….am now ready for the workshop to begin!......thanks goodness since it is now 2:15!

Remembering,
SARAH

....ho,ho,oh no

Yogis,

It begins earlier and earlier every single year.  We used to have until the day after Thanksgiving but that has become a distant memory.  Then at least  Halloween was given its own day in the sun.  But that too has passed.  This year I was shopping on September 27^th when I took this picture ……… 

 

……the Christmas Season.  Ho, ho, oh no.

I am able to ignore it all until Thanksgiving.  It is a principle I have that Christmas should last no longer than a month.  For me it always begins the day after Thanksgiving with a Black Friday trip to the outlets with my sisters in law.  The stores always open at about 5am (which we do not witness as we are still asleep) but this year they all opened at 4pm on Thanksgiving day and stayed open throughout the night.  As if I would want to be buying that perfect sweater at 2:30 in the morning.  Employees I saw the next day could barely string a coherent sentence together they were so wiped.

Ho, ho, whoa.

The Christmas Season.  For me it encompasses a three week period in which I………… bake cookies, write a Christmas letter, take the Christmas picture, stuff and address 80 Christmas cards, stand in line at the post office to mail 80 Christmas cards, buy many many presents, wrap many many presents, buy a Christmas tree, put up a Christmas tree,  get the house ready, attend Christmas parties, buy more presents, wrap more presents, grocery shop, buy flowers, stand in lines, pray for good parking spaces and wash the linens. 

Ho, ho, go.

All of this while still working my full time job (with yearend pressures no less), paying bills, teaching classes, walking the dog and feeding the family.  Are you feeling it?

A frenzied pace that is not for the weak of heart. 

It is an energy that even those who don’t celebrate Christmas can feel.  How could you not?  The backup to the exit ramp to the mall was over a mile long yesterday.  The UPS man barrels up and down the street at least  5 times a day (thank goodness!) and Christmas carols and lights fill the air. 

So why do we do it?

I know why I do it.  Because once the whole family has arrived and we sit around the fire with our cheese and crackers and open that first bottle of champagne, the feeling of love and joy we all share is beyond words. 

The Christmas season.  Could it be done more simply.  Absolutely.  Do I expect it to change. No, not really.  Is that ok?  Yes.

Merry Christmas to you all!

I still have to bake and wrap some more,
SARAH

....trees

Yogis,

There it goes again. That all too familiar sound of a chainsaw gearing up.  Appears a couple more trees must be coming down today. It is a sound that makes me sad.

We hear about the deforestation happening in the world.  We see the pictures and for a few moments we are angered. Who is allowing that to happen?  That shouldn’t be!  But then 10 minutes later we head off for car pool or yoga class. 

But when it starts to happen in your own neighborhood it begins to hit home……

My tree (well, one of my many trees)

As many of you already know…….I LOVE  trees.  When we moved into Cabin John almost 30 years ago it was like moving into the woods.  Every day when I would drive home from the hustle and bustle of the city, as soon as I turned onto my street I automatically turned off the radio because it sounded almost irreverent against the hush that would fall.  The way your voice automatically drops to a whisper when you enter sacred space. 

But it is changing.  Slowly, but noticeably and it makes me sad. 

As our thirst for bigger homes, garages and paved driveways continues to surge, the room left for trees shrinks considerably. The current trend for each new home built, is several trees must come down as they are ‘in the way’. What takes up their space is a nice new lawn which inevitably is visited every few weeks by a small sign warning that it has been treated. 

I truly am not pointing the finger at others because I too am at blame.  Although we didn’t remove any trees when building our home, 3 trees over time have succumbed to the trauma of the construction. An unintended consequence I am seeing all around town.  I sobbed when the chainsaw was started in my own backyard.  

Yes the unintended consequences are arriving.  Our street is experiencing some severe storm water runoff issues. My little section which was once like walking into the forest has ironically become the spot I can now connect most with the sky. And Friday night as I leaned out the window the sound of the beltway only ½ mile away was louder than I have ever heard it.

Our mighty oaks are coming down and decorative dogwoods and crape myrtle are going up.  But it is our large canopy trees that provide the sound barrier, filter and purify our air, hold the rain in its place, provide homes to the squirrels and birds, warm the house in the winter and provide our shade in the summer. We need them, and they need us.

There is no simple answer.  But as a start, what if we all began to plant oak trees in our yards?  Or maples?  Or beech?  Trees that will be here 50 years from now when our grandchildren and great grandchildren move into the neighborhood. Trees that provide the hush. 

I was interviewed by Bethesda magazine recently for an issue that talks to the uniqueness of each of our neighborhoods.  I told them that I always say ‘living in Cabin John is like living in the woods, but only 5 miles from the city.’  But I am wondering how long these words will remain true……….

Cabin John has a unique energy to it, in most part due to the river and our trees.  It’s that energy which drew most of us to settle here.  Calming, quiet, peaceful.  If we continue to change the physical landscape, our inner landscape won’t be far behind.

I love my trees,
SARAH

.......the peace within

Yogis,

This week we moved up to Visshudha chakra, the throat.  Finding our unique frequency, our note, and sending it out.  Speaking as me from deep within.

But as the events of this week unfolded I felt very little need to speak.  There truly are no words that could do justice to the feelings that I, and I know many others have about the frequency of our human world right now.  Instead I am craving silence.  If my life would allow I would gather others with the same need and head to a remote spot to sit with what is and listen.  To listen for its message.  To reconnect with my inner voice and purpose.

I have begun to hear those familiar words cropping up in conversations. ‘I am nervous.  I’m worried.  I was up most of the night.  We are scared to travel to Europe.  Everyone should be carrying a gun……and on and on.’  Words of fear.  Sigh.  An energy that contracts.  That limits.  An energy that feeds itself and spreads with ease.  I am choosing not to be in its path.

What keeps playing in my head is the ending of the Grinch Who Stole Christmas.  The scene where after all of the hurt the Grinch could possibly  inflict he goes to the mountain top to listen for the sounds of  suffering.  But what does he hear instead but the beautiful sound of voices all joined in song.  Hand in hand with light radiating out from their open hearts.

That is my vision…..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqOOUJFv1n0

Just as the Grinch could not steal Christmas, acts of violence cannot steal our personal peace, unless we let them.  The Grinch wanted to witness suffering just as there are some right now who hope to watch us cower in fear. 

The throat energy is our free will.  The place where we choose.  And every single thing we do and say is a choice, and they all stem from either fear or love.  I am consciously choosing love.  I will remind myself of this every morning as I watch the sun rise.

And do you remember what happened next to the Grinch?  His heart grew 3 sizes that day!  Because love too feeds on itself and spreads easily.  Its energy is one of expansion and is boundless.  

That is the path I will be walking. I can't imagine life any other way. Will you be joining me?

Radiating from an open heart,
SARAH

....it's only five minutes

Yogis,

A five minute free standing headstand. That is the requirement in Iyengar yoga to move up to the next level  class.  Five full long never ending minutes.

I have always thought that was silly. What did standing on your head for five minutes show?  I have been able to do a headstand since I was a little girl, long before I ever even heard the word yoga.  It didn’t appear to be a path to enlightenment.  I’m sure I can do five minutes but why would I want to? What does that prove? I remember even voicing this thought to others when the topic of Iyengar was raised.  It was one of the things that even held me back from practicing Iyengar yoga.

Many times over the last several years I would be up in headstand and say to myself that I was going to stay for five minutes, but after about two I would come down.  I can do it, I would say to myself.  I’m just not going to right now. 

What was that all about?  A whole lot of judging going on there about something I had never actually tried.

We do that in life all the time. ‘I could meditate if I chose to….I’m just not choosing to’. ‘I can choose to eat a healthy diet, and will as soon as the holidays are over’.  ‘I know I am able to take on more responsibility in work and someday I am going to raise my hand’. 

Could it be that deep down I am not sure if I really can stay up there that long, and not sure I want to uncover that or put it to the test?

So a few weeks ago I decided it was time to choose it.  Not talk about it or think about it, but choose it and step forward.  Each day I would go up and after about 3 minutes I would come down.  Was it because my arms got tired or I felt dizzy?  No. What I began to notice was that it was simply my inner dialog kicking into gear telling me I should come down now, and it would get louder and louder until I finally listened.  My mind was calling the plays and ‘I’ was listening. Who needs to do this anyway?

Huh.  Headstand was calling my bluff. 

Today I tried again with clear intention.  Checked my phone. 10:40.  ‘I’ took a deep breath, kicked up, found alignment and came into stillness.  I watched.  And watched.  And watched.  I saw my plants and my books from a unique perspective.  I listened to the words of the song.  I felt my heartbeat.  I noticed when I began to slouch and drew in my core and sent my legs higher.  My mind began its work, but ‘I’ chose not to listen but to breathe instead.  Steady. Still.  Being present without trying to muscle my way through or distract myself.  Finally when it felt right, and not when my mind told me to, I lowered down.

10:48!

Where else in life am I all talk and no action?  If I can stand on my head for 8 minutes what else can I do?  Am I willing to face fears and possible embarrassment to find growth?

This isn’t about being in a headstand.  It’s about being real and honest with yourself and stepping into your highest potential.   And this step took me six years.  But who is counting J

Watching,
SARAH

...for this I am grateful

Yogis,

Aaahhhhhhhhh………..   Two weeks of heart opening.  What a perfect way to step into the week of gratitude that lies ahead! 

Thanksgiving. The giving of Thanks.

Gratitude is an action.  A verb.  A conscious state of being.  And it all begins by bringing awareness to the heart. 

Roll your shoulders back.  Place your left hand over the center of your chest.  Put the right one on top.  Close your eyes and take five long slow breaths into this space.  Then bring to mind something or someone for whom you are grateful.  When you begin to feel the stirrings of gratitude energy (you will recognize it), breathe life into it.  Keep expanding it with the your breath until it no longer fits in the confines of the chest and you are vibrating at the frequency of gratitude.  Then send it out!  Glow.  BE GRATITUDE.

As I sit here and look around this room I feel gratitude for my books, yoga mat, the plants, and this pc that allows me to share my deepest inner feelings with all of you.  For my music, journal, rocks, oils, my plants and the small radiator that keeps me warm as the season changes.   The spectacular view from this room, my mala beads and my gnarly walking stick……….  I glow on them all.

As I look back over this one simple weekend I am grateful for the many women that shared a piece of themselves with me over the course of the day yesterday, each in a unique and special way. They are all a gift.  For the ability to rake leaves, and rake more leaves…..and more leaves, and how Phoebe allowed two dogs to play in the backyard with her at the same time.  For fabulous food, a fire which I can still smell on my jeans each time I lean over, and the moon as she rose and watched me from a crystal clear sky.  I glow on them all.

For my challenges I am grateful, for without them I would stand still.  For the sorrow I feel as I touch my heart, because without diving into its depths,  I could not fully live joy.  For those who make me uncomfortable as they are the ones who hold a mirror to my face.  Even for the coming of winter since without its stillness I know I wouldn’t make time to go within. 

But at this moment (which is the only moment that is real) I am most grateful to be me.  Exactly the way that I am.  Because I am…..just like each and every one of you….. perfect.

What is your gratitude list today?

Glowing on all of you,
SARAH

it's a bird..it's a plane..it's.........

Yogis,

We all know the story.  Clark Kent.  Raised in Smallville.  Normal shy awkward kind of guy, working his run of the mill job in journalism.  Fitting in with the masses, living a typical Kansas life. Not particularly noticeable.  Until……….

….there is danger.  A threat to society.  Good people suddenly in harm’s way.  He watches for a while from the sidelines but something within him stirs.  With each breath it expands, and along with it, the broadness of his chest.   Until finally he can no longer contain it – physically, mentally or emotionally.  He is literally bursting open at the seams.

His hands reach up and suddenly he is no longer Clark.  He is………

This is exactly how I feel whenever I work with the energy of the heart!

The element of air.  Our breath.  Our energy center for joy, sorrow, grief and love.  All the same.  All must be felt to be complete…to be human.  All who we truly are. They are our Superman inside. 

The heart energy is stirred when we open the upper body.  Back bending, shoulder opening, arm circles and complete full three part breaths.  Receiving breath first in the belly, then the ribs, then the chest where it makes more space for the heart.  The fire of light and heat we generated in the power plant of the belly, now rises and shines out through the heart.  Our spotlight! 

The more fully we breathe, the more fully we live. 

So whenever I do a week of heart classes I begin to feel as if the front of my chest has been removed.  That my heart energy is so vast and so bright it can no longer be contained within the small confines of my chest.  I feel like Superman…..but with a huge L for love on my chest!

I realized last night that I use my heart spotlight every Friday.  Before my bath I always hang out my bedroom window (which made me also realize that with screens, many people don’t have a window to ‘hang out’ of…….so consider having one window with no screen).  I put my whole upper body out, year round, and breathe the night air.  It feels great and freeing in all kinds of weather.  And then I spread my chest wide and send love to each of the 7 trees that encircle my backyard sanctuary.  My protectors.  Then to the animals of the night.  Then I shine on those I love near and far. Then to the Universe. 

And this Friday….to all of those in Paris. And to those who have built up so much hate and anger that they can take innocent lives without hesitation. 

We all have our Clark Kent costume. Mine is Xerox Major Account Contract Manager. Our mask. But at night….watch out. 

Be Superman this week.  Don’t let the love that lives in your soul stay safely at a simmer.  Draw the shoulders back, lift your heart and breathe with every fiber in your body so that the light becomes so bright it can’t be contained in your small self.  Reach up, rip open your costume and become love.  Shine it on everyone.  Everyone. Everything. Don’t discriminate.  Don’t judge.  Just shine.

I AM LOVE,

SARAH