a vacation....or a retreat

Yogis,

It has been a week since returning from my retreat in Costa Rica.  I have had a little time now to let it settle and reflect on it all.  

The week is difficult to put into words….to explain….to give others a sense of what a week retreat truly does.  The difference between going on a vacation and going on a retreat. 

I take several vacations a year.   A time to relax.  A time to see things, do things and experience new places.  Vacations often involve more sleep, less responsibilities and time with the family or friends. Typically good food and perhaps a few more beers around the pool than usual, or that afternoon bag of Cheetos on the beach….just because I can.   I love my vacations.  I return refreshed, but what I find is that 2 or 3 days back into the routine I am basically back where I started.   Vacations remove us from our day to day routine (although the unfortunate consequence of technology is that we tend to keep one foot somewhat back in the office), but can cause a sadness when we realize it is time to go back.  And there is that old adage that “I need a vacation from my vacation!”

A retreat however, has the ability to offer us true change……………

   

Our View

On the first day, as Jill and  Bob, the owners of Amatierra, described the multitude of excursions we could choose from, we all quickly voiced the ones we really wanted to do and tried to figure out how we could fit them all in.   Our “vacation” minds were still in action.  Bob told us we could simply decide what we wanted to do Monday and then make further choices later.  And then he made a comment which snapped me back to center and stuck with me all week………”the excursions are wonderful, but the real magic is right here on the property, up there in the yoga space.  That’s where you want to be”. 

The small wellness center of AmaTierra – lovely earth – has amazing healing energy.  A hum.  And as the days began to pass, that hum began to settle into my bones. 

During morning yoga as the sunrise would reach the tree tops, the cicadas began their vibration which remained steady and strong until sun set during evening yoga.  And as we would lie on our backs in Savasana, watching the moon rise over the mountain, the bats would swoop down into the studio from the glass cupola on their way out for the evening.  The 3 toucans would land daily like clockwork on the solitary tree we faced as we practiced, resting for a few moments as if to greet.  All of our surroundings simply moving in unison with the natural rhythms of the sun and the moon. 

Once  the dark had settle in, we sat up from Savasana to be led in evening meditation by Jill, bathed by the vibration of her crystal singing bowls.  A time to soak.  To take in all of the sensations of the day. To feel and go inward.

I had a Thai massage by free spirited Rebecca and an extremely healing hands on session by Tanya, an incredible young woman trained by shamans.  Her touch released deep emotions being held in my body, inviting me to dive even deeper to uncover what it is that I want.  She brought things to the surface.  Unplugging from society to tune in to what is always inside….but often low on the priority list. 

By Wednesday evening we had decided we didn’t want to go on any more excursions.  That yes, the magic was right there. 

Neva kept reminding us to bring the hum around us, nature’s song, inside.  To open up to resonate with our surroundings, so there is no longer an inside and an outside.  No longer separate.  Union with all that is. And we would all stand there together and breathe that in. 

Organic home cooked meals, movement, meditation and breath.  A retreat nourishes……the body, the mind and the soul.  So on Saturday morning when  it was time to prepare for the journey home it wasn’t with that let down that I often experience at the end of a vacation.  Instead it was with the anticipation of taking this new rhythm home with me to see what I am capable of doing with it.  A lightness. 

So I returned to Storm Janus – the Roman god of January – who represents transitions and beginnings.  Entrances and doorways.  And I returned different.  My vibration has changed.  A shift.  Another new beginning.  Yes, I had to go back to work.  Yes, I am doing laundry and cooking dinner.  But all  from a different place. 

Thank you AmaTierra!  Thank you Universe!

Bob was right,

SARAH

........I did it!

Yogis,

Back to our regular schedule this week!  I am looking forward to being with all of you!

I have returned from a week of full immersion in the amazing healing energy of the earth.  Costa Rica is so alive that you can’t help but feel it with every cell.   Awakened each morning by the sunrise and call of the birds, practicing yoga surrounded by mountains and lush greenery, visited by the toucans, and finally lulled to sleep by the rush of the full moon winds as they blew by the open windows.   By the end of the week my rhythm and the hum of the cicadas were in perfect harmony.  Outer and inner worlds melding into one.

I wrote earlier in the month about setting intentions……one of mine being “I am a lucid dreamer.”  But another more challenging one for me was “I am facing fears.”  This trip gave me the opportunity to do just that, and I accepted.

One of my deep fears is heights.  I am fine in airplanes or tall buildings, but the very thought of stepping close to a ledge (even with a railing), or looking down through a crack to see space below, ignites fear.   But when I heard zip lining was an activity we could choose, I chose it….and I did it!

Everyone raves about zip lining but this was not about having fun for me.  Standing on that platform at the top of the mountain, high above the trees and hanging only from a cable was terrifying.  So I watched…..as my heart began to race, my skin began to tingle and my voice became shaky.  I watched.  And I noticed.  When there is fear you are completely and utterly present.  Focused.  There is no “monkey mind” when you are in its grip.  I watched and then I jumped………only to have to do it 12 more times!

I watched the night before when lying in bed how the mind began its dance of worry.  Maybe you can back out!  What if you get there and just can’t do it?  What the heck were you thinking!   Each time I would exhale and release the thoughts, only to see them bubbling to the surface again.  Awake and aware.

In the morning as the time drew closer I told the others in my group that I would need their support.  I voiced my fear out loud.  Honoring and bowing to its presence and its truth.   

Fear is constricting.  It pulls everything toward you.  Eyes widen.  Nothing else exists.  As I land on each platform and have to walk around the tree on which it is bolted, a mere foot or two of wood slats sit between me and the edge, so the trees became my best friends.  I lean into them for grounding.  For strength.  For the courage to get back up on the stepstool and leap again.  Over and over. 

Everyone asks if I wasn’t afraid by the 3^rd or 4^th one.  I wish I could say that was true.  But this morning I realized that my intention was “I am facing fears”, and that is what I did.  I simply faced it.  I tried to find peace in its discomfort.  It was one of the most difficult things I have done in a very long time.  But I believe that is required before you can change the intention to “I have let go of fear”. 

Emotions, whether it be fear, anger, sorrow or hurt, are waves of energy within us.  They are us.  And if we choose to turn the other way from the ones we don’t care to experience, they simply find a cozy dark place within our tissues or muscles to settle in.  They wait.  Eventually they will no longer remain quiet.   So we can choose to keep them in the dark….like the monster under the bed….or take out the flashlight and invite them to tea. 

Before I left I wrote about letting something go in order to make room for the new.  And guess what??????  

Last night on my first night back in my own bed I was in the midst of a beautiful and vivid dream when I suddenly said to myself – Am I dreaming?  And the answer I came back with was YES!  Deeply dreaming, yet awake and aware.  I did it!  I was having a lucid dream!!!

Thank you, thank you Universe!  Anything is possible if only you see it and move toward it with an unwavering focus, an open heart and complete faith.  Makes me realize that I need to think even bigger J

So what is it that you want?

Feeliing expansive and brave,

SARAH

........letting something go

Yogis,

I am heading to warmth and sun for a restorative week of yoga, meditation, nature and calm.  Reminder – no classes next week…… We will resume the normal schedule on Monday 1/20.  I will have lots to share upon my return!

I wanted to leave you with a thought I have been carrying with me this week. 

Every meaningful step forward is intimately connected to something we let go.  Whether that be a job, relationship, doubt, fear, anger or a limiting belief that our mind attempts to box us in with……..something was released which gave room for the new. 

When we grip everything too tightly, we become crowded. 

So let something go…………………

 

……and see what returns.

I plan to let some fears go this week and try something I haven’t done before.  I know it will open some doors for growth.

I will see you in the Full Moon on Wednesday,

SARAH

......heeding winter's call

Dear Yogis,

This week we are back to our regular class schedule!!   The following week I will be away……learning and growing.

Nothing like frigid temperatures to slow life’s pace to a crawl.  Have you noticed?  The colder it has gotten, the less there seems to be to “do”. 

Winter is our time to take stock, rest and look inward.  A time to slow down in order to rediscover where it is that we are….physically, emotionally, in our careers, in our interests and in those areas where we may have become  a bit stuck.  During mild winters this natural and necessary phase of life occasionally gets skipped.  Not this month!! 

Even my body is telling me to slow down.  Small aches, stiff joints and creakiness seem to be visiting me – asking me to move in a more mindful way.  Knocking a little more loudly on the door when I don’t take notice.  Feeling the need to approach postures with respect and breathe my way in.  A tub filled with bath salts and rose petals calls my name.  Winter is a time to soak.

After a yoga class this weekend I overheard some women discussing the importance of weighing yourself daily to be sure you notice if a pound or two has snuck in unnoticed.   But they do and they should.  Just like the rabbit, our nature is to thicken our coat and become more curvy in winter, to protect and warm us.  This is no time for a diet of salads and fruit, but to feed the body’s longing for homemade soups, hearty stews and a hot cup of tea in the late afternoon.  Winter is a time to nourish in preparation for the bust of energy needed in spring.  And like the snow, the pounds will melt away as the seasons and we shift. 

This weekend we “de-Christmas -ed” the house, which always leads to clearing out the old to make room for the new.  Furniture moved, drawers cleaned, and closets picked through once again with an eye toward letting go of that which no longer serves.  Creating space with the intention of not allowing it to become cluttered again (check back with me in April on that).  Winter is a time of releasing.  Letting go of attachments.

So the house is cleaned, the soup is made, bills are paid….but there are still hours left in the day.  I find myself wandering around looking for something to do.  But it is unnecessary.   Winter is a time of the freedom to simply be.  Wrapped in a blanket with a good book.  Snuggled under the duvet in bed at only 9:00 because it has been dark for hours.   Hibernating.  Dreaming.

Last year I started an annual tradition of doing a 1000 piece puzzle beginning the first week of January.  Today I broke open the box, separating the pieces one by one to find the edges.  Beginning by forming the frame in which I will spend much of the next month (or two……this is a HARD one).  And as I looked for the final 3 edge pieces that somehow I had missed, I had an insight.  I needed to stop “looking” for them, and instead simply soften my gaze toward the table and “see” them……and there they each were, as if they were glowing. 

Winter is still and clear.  The skies at night are infinite.  The animals make their nightly trek through my yard, leaving only their prints in the snow as evidence.  Winter is quiet.   Winter asks us to see….not with our eyes, as the earth has drawn back its vibrant colors so as not to distract us……..but with the light of our inner vision.

See where you are…. without judgment.  See what you want…..without limitations.  And take these next couple of months to let it all settle into your bones.  Planting the seeds for growth.

Dreaming,

SARAH

a new year

Holiday Yogis,

OK, so who out there is not confused about what day it is???? 

I feel like I have had at least 4 Saturdays this week.  And when Friday finally arrived and I realized that it indeed was only Friday, I was delighted to know that I had a whole weekend in front of me in which to recover from all of those other Saturdays!  And we have another similar week in front of us.  Hope I can make it……J  Having the holidays fall on Wednesdays seemed to create a 2 week void where time and space became inconsequential. 

So here we are staring the New Year right in the eye.  Can you see it?  Can you hold its gaze?  Can you feel its potential?  A door, a curtain, a passage.  A pause.  A portal.  Leaving the old to enter the new.  As they put it in my WeMoon calendar – “At the Edge”. 

 

Powerfully amplified this year as it falls on the same day as the new moon - 1/1.  Wow!  Transitions. Moving from the dark back into the light.  Shedding what no longer serves us to be wrapped in a new way of being.  Stepping forward.

 

Take these next few days as we sink deeper into the dark to become still and use that inner vision we turned on in Ajna chakra, our third eye.  Go inward to see what it is that you want to manifest as you move toward the clear canvas that simply states “2014” as its title.  Anything.  See it, feel it, choose it.  You are a magnificent creative being. 

Then form it into an intention.  Put what it is that you want in a simple, clear, concise statement – in the positive and in the present – as if it has already arrived.

I am healthy…………..

                I have an open heart…….

                                I have a fulfilling job……..

                                                I meditate daily…………………

                                                                I can sky dive………………………………

I am fascinated by dreams (another third eye ability).  I was never much of a dreamer and when I did they were colorless and somewhat flat – typically not remembered.   So I decided about 2 years ago that there was a whole world there that I craved to tap into.  I began falling asleep on my back, placing mugwort in my pillowcase, and telling the Universe that I wanted to dream.  And there have been significant changes. 

But this year I am taking it up a notch!  My sister gave me a guidebook to Lucid Dreaming for Christmas.  The ability to wake up inside your dreams and eventually even be able to direct them.  Meeting with whoever you choose.  Deciding that it’s time to fly.  Feeling, smelling and hearing as clearly as if you were in an awake present moment……all with full awareness.   I “want” to do that, so I am choosing it. 

And the first step in the process, as with anything else we want to manifest, it to create the intention. 

I remember my dreams…………..

                I am aware while I am dreaming…………………

                                I am a lucid dreamer…………………………………

Every time I lie down at night.  Over and over and over.   With patience.  Journaling my experiences.  Knowing it will come.

Thank you Universe!

So choose what you want to see, have, feel and be on the other side of the door.  Draw it from deep within and the Universe will be there to support you every step of the way.  Be grateful now for what will come.   Don’t wait.

See you in my dreams!

SARAH

I can see clearly now

Quiet yogis,

In the throat chakra we snuggled into the warm embrace of silence.  Listening inwardly to what our hearts are telling us, without the noise of daily life.

Now in Ajna chakra, our third eye, we began to look from the inside.  To see all that our physical eyes are incapable of perceiving.   Our sixth sense.

 

Physically our eyes are quite limited.  The range of colors we see is narrow.  Our night vision is almost nonexistent.  Compared to a hawk, the distance we can see is miniscule.  And as we age, even seeing something up close becomes a challenge (is it me or is the writing on most labels becoming ridiculously small?).

But even more importantly than that, we look at the world through a distorted lens…..as if we are wearing dirty glasses.  Our mind places a layer of perception over everything we view….a layer built up by experiences, memories, likes/dislikes and judgment.  We sort, compare, evaluate and label in a mere instant.  Everything we see is shaped for us.  So is that really  seeing?

And when we are deep in the grips of stress we don’t see anything at all.  The eyes look at the surroundings as we move from activity to activity,  but nothing even registers.  Sort of like – where are those darns glasses???? – as you tear the house apart…..only to discover you are already wearing them.  Or you drive somewhere and have that panicked feeling upon arrival because you can’t even remember the drive. 

We both look at a picture of a woman.  One of us sees stunning beauty, the other sees someone too thin.  We both peer into the woods.  One sees the steadiness of the old oaks, yearning to sit against them…while the other sees the potential danger of the forest creatures, anxious to hurry back to the house.   Who is seeing correctly?

When we work with the energy of the third eye, we turn on our inner vision.   The ability to see what is real.  To see things exactly as they are. 

Those of you who practice with me know that I close my eyes often while I move.  I find that with the eyes closed I can more easily slide from the thinking mind to the feeling mind.  I don’t need to SEE you all to know how we are flowing, or sense your breath or feel the warmth of the energy that we generate as a group.   When we close the eyes, or allow them to soften, our vision becomes so much more expansive.  We begin to see with the whole body.  When you want to see another, close the eyes and draw them near.  See with your hands, see with the soles of the feet, see with your innermost core.

This inner vision also allows us to see ourselves more clearly too.  It is if we take a step back to observe ourselves – our thoughts, habits, different voices, and fears.  It reminds me of when we would watch videos we had taken and I would look at myself and feel like I was watching a stranger.  I don’t look or talk like that!!  It must be the camera. 

Close your eyes now and notice the room.  See yourself as if you are looking from above.  See what makes up this moment.

This is what meditation is all about.  Getting quiet, closing the eyes, taking a step back and watching.  What we do with what we see is our choice.  But if we choose to take out the windex and clean the glasses to see exactly what is here, we can begin to release those things that no longer serve us, getting closer and closer to the brilliant light within that we each are…..and then recognizing it in others.

I can see clearly now,

SARAH

the sound of silence

Yogis,

After another week of chanting, singing, toning, screaming and mantra my throat feels more open, clearer and pure.  Ready to speak my truths from deep within.

But first…….I have to get very quiet to hear them.  Not to hear myself think, but to hear the flow of my breath.

Though with the throat chakra we work on our voice, the actual organ of action for Vishuddha chakra is not the tongue, but the ears.  The ability to listen within. 

Silence. 

I have been watching the debate going on right now over the new law which would allow the use of cell phones in flight.  Oh my gosh.   Can you imagine?  Settling yourself in for a 2 hour flight, reaching that 10,000 feet altitude where the seat belt light goes off, and the guy sitting next to you (which these days feels like on top of you) speed dials his new girlfriend to discuss weekend plans for the remainder of the flight.  Or the women in front of you, whose reclined seat is now in your lap, calls her business partner to go over the third quarter financials.    All talking loudly to be sure they are heard over all of the other cell phone callers. 

The airplane has remained one of the few quiet refuges we have.  Nowhere is safe any longer from loud music, advertisements or tv.  I noticed this week that even Down Dog studio has a flat screen tv hanging at the front desk.  I didn’t get a chance to ask what the plan for it was, but not sure I really want to know.

Silence. 

To hear our innermost longings, to hear the direction the heart is asking us to go……we must have quiet in our lives.   And the more of it we have, the clearer our messages will be. 

So test your day.  Often noise is a habit….not always easy to break.   But first you have to notice it.  Do you automatically turn on the radio as soon as you turn the key in the ignition.   Is the tv on at times when you aren’t actually watching a show.  Do you need sound to help you fall asleep.  When you are with another, are you able to sit with them in silence, or does that make you uncomfortable. 

And noise is not only sound, but the barrage of information.  Can you go through ½  a day without surfing the web, or checking facebook.   Is it possible for you to go 2 days without reading the newspaper or watching the news.  Notice.

Silence.   The time to be just with yourself.  To hear yourself.

Silence has a sound.  A vibration ….when you listen for it.  Silence has a feeling.  Like being wrapped in a warm blanket….when you become comfortable with it.  Silence has a personality.  Like a long lost friend with whom you can be you…….when you invite it in. 

The holiday season can be a noisy time of year.  Be sure to set aside time for silence.  And ask yourself before you speak – “will what I am about to say improve upon the silence.” 

…..and  I am pleased to see that there has been a clear message sent from the majority of Americans that cell phones should remain silent while we lie back and enjoy the flight.  Let’s hope someone is listening.

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field.
I'll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass
the world is too full to talk about.
               ~ Rumi

And finally….

Never miss a good chance to shut up.
          ~Will Rodgers

Speaking from the heart, which means there is a lot less of it,

SARAH