.....the night is dark

Yogis,

The night is dark and full of terrors.

                ~George R.R. Martin

Why is it that everything seems so much worse in the middle of the night? 

You know what I mean. It’s 2:00 in the morning and you wake up to go to the bathroom. You lie back down and close your eyes, ready to drift back into that hazy land of dreams, but your mind has other ideas.  The issue that was bothering you in the afternoon suddenly blows up into a full length horror movie.  Everything that could possibly go wrong becomes what is clearly going to happen.  Every noise is most definitely an intruder and you’re sure you didn’t lock the door.  Your life is a mess and you are a loser. 

The veritable monster under the bed……………

This week I was making some life decisions.  In the light of day all options, although somewhat complicated, looked possible.  I was letting them all settle in.  Sitting with them in meditation.  Asking the Universe for guidance.  I would head up to bed each evening with a little more clarity.  Until……………..

“What was I thinking?  Who am I to think I can go that direction?  I am being selfish.  I am not worthy.  This could happen….that will happen……..I will end up…….Why wasn’t this all blatantly obvious in the light of day?” Heart beginning to pound. Every possible obstacle lit up and  glaring at me as I lie cowering beneath my sheet. 

Fear thoughts. They love the dark.  Their favorite dwellings are the corners, closets, and especially under the bed. They stay buried within until the world sleeps where there are no distractions.  They love to grab you by the ankles and hold you in place.  They are your shadow.  But it is also in their grip that we can learn. Can go a bit deeper. 

As the sun rises, I take a big stretch, brush my teeth and the world is good again. But where did they go and will they be back? 

So which thoughts are really mine?  The ‘world is ending’ or the ‘life is good’?  Both!  It’s only that in the dark of night what is buried deep rises to the surface. 

These fear thoughts challenge us and we have two choices.  We can become their prey or bring out our handy flashlight and give them a good looking over.  Lifting up the bed skirt to face what lurks beneath.  Bringing them out into the light.  Acknowledging them for their guidance,  but continuing to move forward anyway toward where the heart is leading.  Fear asks you to stay where it is comfortable.  Moving beyond fear is the path to a life fulfilled.  

So I watched.  What am I really afraid of?  Can I see them for what they are. My thoughts. Can I move beyond them?  They are not me.  

..…..and when I looked under the bed this morning it was that crumpled up sweatshirt I forgot I had pushed under there.

In a Dark Time

In a dark time, the eye begins to see

I meet my shadow in the deepening shade

                – Theodore Roethke

Not afraid,                                                                                                                      
SARAH

.....time is an illusion

Yogis,

About every three weeks in the off season we head to our beach house.  The normal routine is leaving early Saturday morning, so I can have my Friday night ‘time for me’, and then I work from there on Monday and drive back that evening.  Have been doing that for a while now.  A routine.

But this week we changed the plan so I could get together with my sister.  Heading there Friday afternoon and coming back Sunday.  Doesn’t seem like that would be a big modification but it completely threw me for a loop! 

Packing on Thursday night instead of Friday morning made it challenging to remember what to bring.  Saturday my alarm went off and I was sure it was Sunday.   Today I felt like I should be working and was convinced that tomorrow I had my Tuesday classes….. and the weekend felt so much longer than usual.  It reminded me of how those 3 day holiday weekends, where the four day work week should feel like a gift, usually ends up feeling interminably long.  Thinking on Wednesday that it must be Thursday.  It all made me think about time.

Time speeds up.  Time slows down.  Whenever something is new we notice it more and time crawls.  As soon as it becomes rote, time picks up velocity.  I always notice this on vacation where those first few days when everything is unknown seem like an eternity, only to be followed by the final four days racing by like a blur.  Is it already time to leave?

Einstein was the first to shock the world with the concept that time is an illusion.  Today’s belief is ‘There Is no Time. There never was and there never will be. Everything exists in the present moment and it's a fundamental principle of the Universe that many of our scientists are still trying to grasp. Time does not actually exist and Quantum Theory proves it.’

Therefore there really is only now.  Only this moment.  I am writing this now.  You are reading this now.  I want to live more of these ‘nows’.  I don't want to wait for some unknown time. Less attention to the past or the future as those are merely illusions.  More living. More aliveness. Less rote. Want to join me?

One of my students sent me a picture of his father-in-law who is now 103, still going to the gym daily and doing Tai Chi.  Think about that.  103 years.  Viewing that from afar and saying the number - more than a century – makes it appear an eternity.  However he says even he can’t believe how fast time has gone and how he got so old so fast.  I bet what he remembers when he looks back are the moments. 

Does it matter if we live to 103 if we aren’t living the moments?

There is now…..and then there is now…..and then there is now,
SARAH

.......something amazing

Yogis,

“Pause and notice this moment.  Different from any other moment you are going to have.  Every moment, a chance for something amazing.  So you don’t want to miss it!”

I say this in class often.  One of my mantras.  It reminds not only everyone attending class, but me to remember what is important.  This moment is what matters.   It is only in this moment that life can happen. Not tomorrow.  Not two weeks ago.  Here….now.

This week we had incredible weather, with 80 degrees days, blue skies and the tips of the trees turning color.  So I began each class with a short led meditation with the windows wide open where we paused to notice spring.  The stiller and quieter you get, the more your awareness sharpens.  We tuned into the sounds and smells and felt the air on our skin.  We breathed the energy of spring in.

In  the dark silence of yesterday’s early morning class, at the same moment I was saying to feel the air on the skin, a strong gust of wind blew through.  It literally came out of nowhere rattling the dried leaves on the tree and sending a burst  of much cooler air into the room.  You couldn’t help to not only notice it, but be moved by it. 

…..a chance for something amazing.

At the end of class someone said it felt like I had conjured it up with the meditation.  I laughed it off, but that stuck with me through my day. 

“I don’t have that kind of power!”  I thought.  But do I?  Do all of us?  When we become completely still, quiet the mind and truly notice someone or something, giving it our complete undivided attention, a relationship forms.  A give and take.  A bond. Why would the Universe be any different?  When we tune in, something amazing happens. 

I had forgotten about it by evening as I had my ‘busy’ day. 

Friday night.  Time to lean out the window (Hi FLOW members!).  As I moved my body out into the night air I was thinking about the notes I was going to send out to my meditation group over these next few days.  I took a deep breath and closed my eyes and paused to feel the night.  “I will write about looking at the sky.  Noticing it.  Really seeing it”. 

I opened my eyes and looked up,  just as a magnificent shooting star streaked across the sky leaving a trail of light in its path. It took my breath away.  Wow!  Thank you Universe!

…….every moment a chance for something amazing. 

Be sure to find the time in your day to be completely still.

To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders.

                ~Lao Tzu

Noticing this moment,
SARAH

....why do I do it

Yogis,

It’s March and I’m one week into the month long March Meditation I am leading.  This is the fourth year I have shared  this program because somehow March seems like the perfect month to look inside.   And whenever you teach, you learn.  Guiding others in how to meditate causes me to look deeper into my own practice and this year I have been asking myself………

Why do I meditate?

With the Yoga asana practice – the physical postures – many people initially begin because of an issue.  Lower back, knee or hip pain.  Trouble sleeping. The doctor recommends it, or they see how toned a friend’s body is becoming.  Age is causing stiffness and there is a desire for more flexibility.  But those of you that have been doing it a while know that all of those things will indeed be helped, but the benefits run so much deeper.  Inner changes that are unexpected and that no one mentioned begin to show themselves.  Over time with consistent dedicated practice……………

Meditation is the Yoga practice for the mind.  Like the asana practice, many are drawn to it for outer reasons.  The most common one is looking for relaxation.  Others are hoping to lower blood pressure, ease anxiety attacks, and reduce stress.  Once again, the practice will do all of those things but those are just the top dressing.  They are what initially keep you coming back.  Meditation, however, when practiced over time with consistency has the potential to change your thoughts, and therefore the way you feel.  Even the way you live. 

 Most of us don’t jump up and down with excitement when asked if we would like to meditate.  It appears boring.  Like nothing is happening.  You are just sitting there.  How silly is that? 

But it is a practice that has been around for hundreds of years so obviously there is something going on there.  Which brings me back to my question…..why do I meditate.

I have been meditating daily for 8 years so I know I am still scratching the surface, but the changes I see and feel are significant.  But the one that brings me back to my seat day in and day out, when I feel like it and when I don’t, and even when that early alarm goes off after a very late party is the clarity.  The guidance on how to live each day.

When we meditate we learn to relax the mind muscles and focus so that there is less thinking and more listening.  In the listening, wisdom pours in.  We suddenly just know.  I am finding it hard to put into words but it is as if I ask the Universe a question, listen and know. 

I use it for everything.  The little daily decisions and annoyances as well as the life changing events.  Ask, listen and know.   Sometimes it can take only moments.  Other times weeks or even months.  But I trust it implicitly and it never lets me down. 

If I find myself beginning to analyze, ‘think through’, google, worry or stress about something…… I head for my seat.  Take a big exhale, relax, empty and listen.  Waiting for the download.   Life is much simpler this way…..and more fun! 

And that is why I personally meditate……….  I am so grateful that meditation found me.  I recommend it J

Getting quiet so I can hear through life’s static,

SARAH

.....arms up

Yogis,

March ‘Moments that Matter’ begins on Tuesday!  Still time to jump in and learn a new life skill!  Email me to sign up.

I have been using the song ‘Happy’ by Pharrell Williams in class these last two weeks for our dancing/movement section.  There is something about that song that makes even the most self conscious dancer  break out their moves.  You can’t help but clap your hands and lift your knees high as the song’s rhythm begins to stir ‘happy’ sensations in the body.  And it doesn’t hurt that the line repeated over and over – the songs mantra - is……because I’m happy!

Our happiness energy – our joy – resides in the upper part of our body.  In the heart center.  These are emotions that are light filled, expansive and spacious.  And when we feel them we instinctively lift ourselves up, arms in the air, with an expanded chest. 

It reminds me of being at a concert.

You know that feeling after several songs have been played and the band suddenly begins to play your favorite song?  You can’t help yourself.  You feel so filled that you have to expand.  So the arms go up and wave about!

Happiness, joy, cause us to rise.  To lift and to reach. To be bigger than ourselves.  But what about reversing the process.  What if I lift my arms, spread my chest, expand and reach when I am not in the middle of a rock concert.  Perhaps when I am standing in the kitchen.  Will those actions awaken the feeling of happiness?

I don’t know about you, but I don’t make it to very many concerts any more.  So I don’t want to wait for them, or any other big event for that matter, to bring me happiness.  I want to find that same feeling of fullness and freedom and upward lift every day……..many times.  From within.

So, what if I shout Yaay!, and lift my arms skyward when I feel the sun rise over my shoulder during my morning meditation.   How about if I expand my chest and beam outward toward a cardinal that lands in my path.  Spread my arms as wide as they will go and lean in when the wind rushes toward me.  Or clap my hands as the hawk soars overhead.  Celebrating life’s simplicity.

This is choosing happiness.  Moving slowly enough to catch the wonder of our ever day world, that when viewed through a different lens has greater potential than even the very best concert, and costs a whole lot less. 

Try it.  Spot something, lift your chest skyward and waves your arms.   Notice the instant rise of the spirit.  Do it often.  And a little secret…….the more you do it, the more things begin to appear in your path that make you want to do it.

Yaaay!!!  The sky is so blue today!

Rock on,
SARAH

......tv

Yogis,

Watch for my March Meditation invitation this week!

I’m back from a fabulous week soaking in the warmth of the sun!  Sleeping in a large tent perched on a dune at the edge of the beach.  Eating all meals in beach bars and restaurants without walls, my toes in the sand floor.  Surrounded the entire time by only the sounds of surf, the wind, birds and the night bugs.  Nothing manmade.  No music, tv, computer or live entertainment.  No distractions.

Which all meant you had only two choices…….. sit in silence immersed in the sounds and sights of nature, or actually talk to others.  Both wonderful choices that have somehow become less and less frequent in our high tech age. 

Which brings me to the TV.

Since my return the subject of the role of television in our lives keeps crossing my path.  The tv has become a fixture in our homes.  Very rarely just one of them.  Sometimes one in almost every room.  Turned on more than turned off.   Even when no one is watching……. It has become a sort of white noise.  A replacement for the crashing waves and the crickets.  A welcome distraction from our busy lives.

One friend responded to my last post on Savasana sharing that she and her husband realized that each evening as they came home exhausted from their day, the tv would go on and they would find themselves sitting in front of it.  But it suddenly became clear that it was too much noise.  They are going to consciously leave it off for their first couple of hours home to provide the space for reading, puttering or even talking. 

I was also told a story shared by a local Irish bartender that in Ireland the new trend is putting televisions into the pubs.  I have not been to Ireland but from everything I have ever heard, my vision is that pubs are the thread that weave together the community.  Where you gather, share stories and connect with others over a pint at the end of your day.  Take a moment to imagine the shift that will take place with this new technology direction.

8 years ago I went cold turkey.  No tv.  It wasn’t so much a decision as an inner voice  that whispered to me to turn it off.  Most people can’t imagine doing this, and even though they know I don’t watch they still can’t help but ask if I have seen a particular commercial or follow the newest series that has everyone addicted.  What I found in the process is that suddenly I had so much new time!  And like anything you give up, after a few months you can’t imagine going back.  I truly don’t miss it at all.

I’m not suggesting you all go as far as I did, but just to notice how often you are sitting in front of it, or can hear it in the background.  Do you turn it on without even realizing you are doing it?  Can you go even one day a week without it?  What will happen if you don’t have a distraction from your thoughts?  Oh my…….

Watching television removes us from our lives.  But I often have to wonder why we all so often crave that. 

On our trip, each place we went I left knowing several new people, all with interesting stories…….since there was nothing to distract us from being right where we were.  All of our toes together in the sand and the sound of the surf our serenade.

Still hearing the winds in my dreams,
SARAH

.....savasana

Yogis,

Yesterday at the end of my lunch time practice, as I was lying down and pulling the blanket up over me, the song I use most often for Savasana began.  I turned to Phoebe and said, ‘My favorite song!’, with a big smile on my face.  But I realized it is also my favorite yoga pose.

It wasn’t always that way………………

Savasana, or corpse pose, is an essential part of a yoga practice.  It is done at the end, lying down, relaxing the body from head to toe and settling the mind so that all of the benefits of the practice can soak into the body and soul.  Its many benefits include calming the nervous system, relieving stress and shifting the mind into slower brain waves.  Our focus shifts inward.  Nothing to do.

But for many Savasana can be the most challenging part of a yoga class.  I have had students let me know they have an appointment and have to leave class a few minutes early….every week.  Or there is that need to fidget, adjust, take a sip of water or blow the nose.  Anything to delay lying perfectly still.  To some it appears to be a ‘waste of time’.  Not ‘doing’ anything. 

I know when I first began practicing, my biggest worries were that my stomach would begin to growl, I would suddenly start giggling, or worst of all…that I would fart.  The room during Savasana is so quiet that any movement or bodily noise seems like a broadcast over a PA system. 

But after about a year of spending my ‘final rest’ time coming up with all of the possible negative outcomes, I began to relax.  And relax some more. And relax some more.  Until – it became my favorite pose.  There is deep subtle magic in Savasana when you allow it to do its work.  Something I can’t describe.  It can only be experienced. 

So I am leaving tomorrow morning for a week on a tiny remote island where there is basically nothing to do.  A few restaurants.  One shop.  One ferry that gets you there.  No TV, computer, newspaper.  Nothing to visit or timetables to keep.   I realized that this is like an extended Savasana.  Once I arrive, the distractions of the outer world will fade so that I can let all I have done over these last few months settle in.  My mind and body can relax.  My breath will slow and will have more of my undivided attention.

We can all benefit from Savasana in classes, but perhaps even more so in life. 

In last night’s yoga class as we came into Savasana, the teacher asked us to drop our bones.  I pictured the relief of dropping my enormous suitcase (I am not a good packer)when I arrived at my destination.   I noticed that as I let my bones go, everything else followed.  I think I will let my bones drop many times this week in the warm sand.

No post next week as I will be beginning to bring awareness slowly back to my outer senses, wiggling my fingers and toes, and deepening the breath  as I make my way back to civilization.  I know my brain waves will certainly have slowed……………

Nothing to do,
SARAH