......the superhighway of gratitude

 

Yogis,

 

Ok,  so I have decided I want to live life with an open heart.  Being fully present for not only the highs of love and bliss, but also having the courage to sit with the lows of sorrow and grief.  I want to live life fully.  But how do I get there?

Like anything else that you desire.  Choose it.  See it clearly…..and then take those baby steps.   Daily Practice. 

And………I believe one of the super highways to an open heart (go directly there without passing go) is via  the path of gratitude – in the DC area this would be those new 495 HOV lanes.  The Universe loves gratitude! 

This is a simple practice that everyone can do, but you must do it.  Mindfully.  Every day.  As you go through your day begin to notice those things that catch your eye, those small things that are special, those things that just happen………..  Seeing the moon in the sky.  A stranger looks you in the eye and smiles.  The warmth of the blanket as you snuggle into bed.  The smell of dinner cooking.  

Notice.  But then go the extra step and say Thank You! Internally….or for more oomph.. aloud (much more on this at the throat chakra).  Just Thank You to the Universe.  Or “moon you are so beautiful!”  Feel the gratitude, but the real practice here is to send it outward.  Begin that exchange.   And the more you do this, the more things will come your way to be grateful for!  Try it.

 

 

Every morning I sit on my bed to meditate from 6:30 to 7.  And this time of year the sun begins to rise during that ½ hour, so that when I finish and look over my right shoulder, the sky and clouds have become an exquisite coral color.   It takes my breath away every time.  Thank you Universe!

The full moon this week was spectacular.  I tried to see it rise each night, and without fail when I would get up for my second trip to the bathroom during the night (so is this what everyone has been talking about?), she is beaming in through the window lighting my way.  Thank you Goddess!

On Thursday I took my walk to the river and sat in my usual spot.  There is a tree to my left that has fallen.  I always touch it and notice it, but this week was different.  It was as if it reached out to me and made me really “see” it.   And what I saw was so beautiful.  My new nickname for him is “my Ogre Tree”.  Thank you tree!

  Front View

 

  Side View

For those who have been coming to classes the last few weeks, there has been a very special energy we have all created together.  Something a little different than usual. Have you all been able to feel it?   Thank you yoga!

My garden is now almost all brown and brittle, rustling in the wind.   But as I walked it the other night I realized that  the plants offer a different gift every season.  Their message now is to rest and allow everything that has come in over these last 6 months to settle into my bones.  To go inward and prepare the soil for the next planting season.  Thank you plants!

And finally………On Monday night I went into the center of my wheel in the dark under the full moon.  Now I haven’t seen Bunny Rabbit in 3 weeks.  I had accepted that he had moved on for the winter.  Oh no.  He came hopping right up to my feet!  After much gushing and loud exclamations of delight, I sat and fed him and then we sat together quietly for 20 minutes under the moon.  Aaaahhhhh……….Thank you Bunny Rabbit!

The reason we have to pull the shoulders back and spread the front of the chest for heart opening is that when it begins to open it gets so much bigger!  It needs a whole lot more space…..

Thank you all for reading my words, sharing your thoughts, giving me hugs and most of all for letting me “see” you,

SARAH

Peaks and valleys.....the path of an open heart.

Yogis,

Living life with an open heart……………….

                Leading life from the heart……………….

Yeah, yeah, yeah.  It’s almost cliché.  Of course we all try to do that.  Of course we want that.  But are we strong enough to really do it?  Do we even know what it means?  Can we live from that place of vulnerability all the time and not simply when it is easy?  Because when the heart is wide open……it will get hurt. 

This is why we practice fire before coming up to the heart.  Having an open heart takes a whole lot of courage.

This is what having an open heart might look like.
 

See those peaks.  Oh we all spend our lives seeking those.  Joy.  Pure bliss.  Unconditional love.  They make us light and airy, as if floating above the earth.  The heart blooming like a perfect rose, about to burst right through the front of our chest.   Powerful.  Exhilarating.  When we are here we love everyone and everything.

Now…..see those valleys.  Sigh.  Grief.  Unfulfilled longings.  Wrenching sorrow.  Lost love.  These drop us down with a loud thud, feeling as if it isn’t possible to go any lower.  The heart clenching into a tight fist.  Withdrawal.   When we are here it seems it is all we can do to keep from drowning. 

Well then,  I just won’t allow myself to feel those valleys.  That’s easy.  When life presents one to me I will just shut down my emotions.  I will go on as if nothing is happening.  I will look the other way.  I just won’t GO there. 

And that is certainly a choice we can make.  But you know what?  Here is how it looks when we choose it.

 

Because if we pull in from the lows, there is an equal and offsetting retreat from the highs.   Living here is called “comfortably numb”.    And we can find this place through busying ourselves, alcohol or drugs.  And many do.  It can seem safer.

But this isn’t living.

The only reason the grief feels so all encompassing is because the love we had was so brilliant.  The unfulfilled longings feel so hollow only because we have tasted the sweetness of fulfillment.  They are one in the same and if you dampen one you dampen the other.

 

So can you keep an open heart through the waves?

This is why we practice fire before getting to the heart.  It takes tremendous inner strength combined with the unwavering faith that we find in the heart to be able to sit with it all.   To feel it, be with it and watch it knowing that like everything outside the soul, this too shall pass.   

I know I for one want this. 

 

 

So I will SEE it……and continue to practice.  Baby steps toward becoming comfortable in the uncomfortable.  Not willing to settle for a life half lived.  Knowing I am always held.

Drawing the shoulders back to expose my heart,

SARAH

the wind at my back

Yogis,

Three weeks of fire practice for many of you!  Building both inner and outer strength, and a sense of “I CAN do anything”.

    ……..yeah I saw a lot more feet come off the ground in crow pose this week than ever before…..

Have you been setting your intention?  Seeing it clearly and stating it with conviction every day? 

                My blood pressure is going down.

                                I am writing a book.

                                                Money flows in and out of my life in abundance.

                                                                I sleep soundly at night.

                                                                                I am relaxed and peaceful.

Whatever it is that you want!  State it so many times that it begins to vibrate within you.  Because what you send out is what you will draw back – so make sure it is what you want..

Earth….we prepared the soil.   Water…..we gave it moisture and aliveness.   Fire……we planted the seed and gave it light.    We then simply tend to it daily -  taking those baby steps toward our intention, moving forward and taking action with confidence. 

And then let go of the reins with complete and unquestioning faith that it will grow.

The Heart. 

It is here that we move from me to we.  From an inward focus on what I can do, to an outward sensing of the incredible benevolent force of the Universe.  There to support us in whatever we choose to do. 

Our job is the choosing.  The knowing what I want, stating it and beginning the movement toward it.  Our job is the “what” and the focus.  The Universe’s job, however, is the how. 

But you have to be able to let go and trust.  Completely.  With every cell in your being.  Knowing it will manifest. 

Somehow we seem to do this so simply in the garden.  We plant the seed, give it water, light and love, and then trust that from a seed the size of a speck, a large plant will grow and feed us.  No need to dig it up each day to see if anything is happening.  We just believe that this miracle will happen year after year after year. 

Not quite as easy in our own daily lives.   That is why we practiced fired for 3 weeks!  It takes courage.  It takes an open heart that is willing to feel it all.   

So allow yourself to be steered.  Feel the breeze at your back guiding you.  Be carried.  Accept unexpected turns in the path as gifts.  Know the destination but don’t demand a certain route – another route may have so much more beauty along the way.

Leave the details to the Universe. 

….and the next time you are out in the wind, face into it, close your eyes and open yourself up.  A hug from the Universe.

I love this journey,

SARAH

I CAN.........except for maybe that

Yogis,

Many of you who were reading my blog last year may remember that at about this same time, while teaching the throat chakra, I lost my voice and ended up with a sinus infection.  Well last week, while teaching fire, I developed a fever and everything once again began to settle into my sinus cavities. 

It was uncomfortable.  But what was even more uncomfortable for me was having to admit that I was sick and cancelling a few classes.  I believe that may be the first time I have cancelled for illness.   I am a fire by nature – disciplined, moving forward, convinced that “I Can”…..even when I can’t.

I felt much better on Friday and Saturday.  Then last night – Sunday – my time to write arrived.  I am “supposed to write”.   I “always write on Sunday”.    But my sinuses again felt full and I had zero clarity.  Nothing to write about.  So again…. I stepped out of my comfort zone….and simply didn’t write.    Instead soaked in my tub with bath salts.  Feeling so much better after.  Learning that while it may be uncomfortable, stepping back to nurture myself when needed is a good thing. 

We learn when we go into that space of discomfort.  We see.

So how many of you truly believe that you create your lives??  Let’s see a show of hands.

That you determine your future moments. That life doesn’t just happen to you.  That you are an infinite creator….of anything that you want?

Have you been planting your intention?  It always starts with a vision.  Clarity of sight and planting it deep within.   But then we must take those baby steps, and many of them will be uncomfortable.

The known is very comfortable.   Even when it may be negative, it often seems easier to just keep doing the same known things than to start the wheels of change.  Staying in an unfulfilling job or relationship, continuing to live with physical discomfort, remaining on a committee or board for which you no longer have a passion.  Sometimes less effort than stepping that big toe out of the “comfort box” you have constructed.    But in the known there is very little growth and not a whole lot of transformation or ecstasy.    

The real power of aliveness lies in the unknown.  But it takes some courage to go there and some discipline to keep moving through it even when there is discomfort.

For those of you who take yoga, think about the poses that you believe you can’t do.  The ones where when the teacher calls for them, an UGH goes through your mind, and maybe you decide it is a good time to get a quick drink of water or blow your nose so you don’t have to be in it for quite as long.  The ones where you have convinced yourself that your body just doesn’t do that.

And discomfort can come in many forms.  There is the obvious physical discomfort – like holding plank for a full minute when your arms are shaking.  But there can just as easily be emotional discomfort.  Perhaps you are uncomfortable with chest openers because you are self-conscious of your breasts.  Maybe arm balancing brings fear to the surface because of buried trust issues.  Or the shake you have in your hand may be noticed when we are asked to settle into stillness in a pose. 

For me it was seated wide legged forward fold.  As a young girl taking gymnastic lessons I could do all of the back bends but never could spread my legs and get within even a few feet of the floor when I folded.  Ever.  I watched most of the girls as they lay flat on the floor between their legs as simply as you or I lift up an arm.  I was jealous.   I decided early on that my hip joints were just shaped differently and that I just couldn’t do that.  Who needed to be able to do that anyway?

Then 3 years ago I went to an Erich Schiffmann workshop, and as a 6’ 5”  yogi  he sat down, spread his legs, lowered down to rest on his elbows and talked to us from there for 5 minutes.   And he commented that as yoga teachers this was one of the important poses and we should all work to do it.   UGH. 

So I went home and for maybe 2 months I half-heartedly tried.  But it was uncomfortable and I wasn’t seeing fast enough progress.  I began finding reasons why I couldn’t end with that pose – seeming to always run out of time, until finally it faded from my practice.  Who needs to do that anyway?  And besides….my hip joints are shaped differently. 

Fast forward to this year when I am back again learning from Erich and it all came flooding in once more.  This time I knew it required me to set this pose as an intention……..and to take the baby steps toward it day after day after day after day.  That to continue to grow in my practice, which is simply a mirror of life, I had to step into the unknown with conviction.  And so I have for the last 7 months.  

And you know what?  My hip bones are not shaped differently!  I can’t lie anywhere close to flat on the floor and that isn’t what this is all about.  But I can go so much deeper than I could at 8 or 14 or 20 years old.   And while It is still uncomfortable, I have grown to enjoy the discomfort associated with the new growth…..the possibilities…..my limitless potential. 

         Erich Schiffmann

What is it for you?   Set an intention and see it with an unwavering focus.

I can,

SARAH

Yes........I CAN

Yogis,

This week we moved up into Manipura chakra, and the element of fire.  Our belly.  Our heat.  It is here that we create, change, transform, and move forward.  But to tap into the magnificent force of fire we first must let go of the past (earth) and be fully present in this moment without struggling against it (water). 

Let me walk you through two simple but powerful practices that help us to get there. 

1-      Become aware of the whole back of your body.  Now close your eyes and visualize every single thing that has happened in your life, up to this very moment, behind the body.  Your past……physically behind the body.  Send your next exhale out through the back body sending your past a little further away.  Detaching from the past. 
     ……it no longer exists
Now move your awareness into the center of your body – that line of energy that runs from the tailbone to the crown directly in front of the spine.  This is the present.  Trace that line with your breath and notice this moment.  Notice everything about this moment.  Feel it.  Being in  it fully and accepting this moment exactly as it is.   Aaahhhh………..

 

2-      Bring something to mind that recently was challenging or difficult.  Close your eyes and bring it all back.  See it clearly, feel it in your body, notice what your mind was thinking.  Allow the emotions that went with it. 

Take a long inhale, and as you slowly exhale watch the exhale begin pushing the vision down through the body from the crown of the head all the way down the torso and the legs and out through the soles of the feet.  Make sure your exhale sweeps every crumb of the vision out through the feet. 

And now take in a fresh inhale noticing how clean and clear it is.  Welcome to the present moment!

 

Now notice the front of the body……………..and the limitless blank space in front of you.   Your future.  Waiting for you to create within it.  Anything that you desire…………

 

The last two weeks we dove deep to discover what we truly wanted.  Our longings.   Now we visualize them and set them in motion by planting our intention.

It’s that time of year where many of us are going through health screenings for the upcoming health insurance season.  Receiving results that we often expect, or perhaps some new news.  It gets the discussions, and sometimes the worry, going.  One guy that I work with emailed me that he was surprised he was even capable of sending an email with the results he had gotten.

On my way to “hot” yoga on Friday I saw a billboard at a bus stop.  It was a women with her hands in prayer position at her heart, eyes closed.  And all it said was:  

Blood Pressure

You are going Down.

I love that!  It was a sign for Kaiser Permanente but should be a sign for the spiritual journey.   It is a perfect example of an intention.

Once we know what we want we have to “see” it clearly and then state it in the positive and plant it in the Universe.   Over and over and over.  With complete clarity and conviction.    Blood pressure, you are going down.

Notice it isn’t:

-          I wish my blood pressure was going down
or…

-          I am hoping to get my blood pressure down this time

Those are sending out the message to the Universe that it isn’t coming down right now.  And what you send out is what you attract back. 

Now on the other hand….You are going down…. Sends that exact message out.  Nothing wishy washy there.  You aren’t asking pretty please, but stating clearly what you want and that positive vibration is what the Universe will receive.  The Universe responds best to clarity and will echo your intention back to you.

Not – “I never have enough money” – which signals there is scarcity and lack, but – “Money flows in and out of my life in abundance with ease”.    No buts, no skepticism, no question.  If you were the Universe, which would you respond to?

I have a new job…… My digestion system is strong and trouble free……..I take time for myself daily………I am learning a new skill…….My shoulder is healed………

Whatever it is that you want.   SEE it, send it out, and watch it with an unwavering focus.   

……………..and then all we are asked to do is take baby steps toward it.   The Universe will support your every move. 

I am moving forward,

SARAH

letting go to the flow.......part 2

Feeling Yogis,

As we flowed through the second week of the water element, and did a little shaking of our hips, there were 2 currents that flowed through me.  The first went something like this.

Let go, let go, let go, let go……………………..

……and then let go some more.

I was very blessed to be able to spend time by water on several occasions this week.  Here my foot rests at the edge of the river where I sat and watched.  The river has continuous movement, but without struggle.  Around the rocks, through the crevices, onto the banks.  And with each breeze a leaf would float down to gently land on her surface and be carried away.  Here one moment and gone the next. Impermanent.  Allowing itself to follow nature’s rhythm.  Incredibly peaceful and so freeing. 

Why can’t I do that?  Why can’t I just let go and be with what is here?

 

This weekend I was by the ocean.  Friday night sitting in the sand soaking in the full moon beams, and this morning under a clear blue sky and brilliant sun,  I found a nook next to a jetty to be alone. To feel.

Here is what came.  I lie back and flow until an emotion rises that I just don’t like.   Then I climb out onto shore to resist the current.   To resist the present moment.  But resisting the present moment is like putting out  your arms to hold back a large wave.  It is a tremendous expenditure of energy with a 100% guarantee that you will get no return on your investment.   The present moment just is.  You cannot change it.  When we learn to accept this moment completely, exactly as it is – then and only then can we jump back in and be in the flow. 

This isn’t an easy concept to grasp, much less to do.  You may say – “but that is settling”, or “by accepting it I am saying it is right or ok”.   But it isn’t that at all.  Accepting this moment in no way means that you don’t want differently for the future.  But in order to create new, we must release the past (earth) and be fully with what is right now (water).   Then from this point of complete freedom we can plant the seed of intention of what we desire (fire). 

Which brings me to the second current……

What is it that I long for?  What do I want? 

It seems so easy, but oh I find it so hard.   And the answer will never come from the mind.  Those mind wants are fleeting and when filled will satisfy for only so long.  What I want comes from a much deeper place.  I can feel it, and know that I have touched it in the past, but still haven’t found the words.  Maybe there are no words.

I listened to two talks this week that both kept coming back to the same message - that it is in our vulnerability that we find our power.   The willingness to move forward without knowing.   This struck a chord within.   A sense that if I  can become more vulnerable (which does not come naturally to me and is awfully scary), more transparent, and have the courage to allow all waves of emotion without numbing them,  that perhaps then I can let go……and in that process unleash those deepest soul’s desires.  Feel even more.

Because when all is said and done, and we look deeply into the water,  yes we can see the bottom  but at the very same time our own reflection as well. 

Become comfortable in the discomfort of your emotional nakedness.  ~Panache Desai

                What makes you vulnerable, makes you beautiful.  ~Brene Brown

Feeling vulnerable as I hit the send button,

SARAH

letting go to the flow........

Dear Damp Yogis,

Rain.  Rain.  Rain.    ………and then some more rain. 

And just when it would appear that it was letting up and the skies were brightening ever so slightly…..more rain. 

Steady heavy rain all week.

 

You couldn’t help but feel it.

I have been in a funk most of the week.  Part of it is probably due to the gray skies that come hand in hand with rainy days.  But I know that was just the trigger that brought it to the surface.   The steady, relentless stream of water caused me to feel something I would just assume bury.  That my funk is also tied to the time of year. 

I struggle every year during this transition to fall.  The evenings dark before I can even finish dinner, my garden slowly fading back, the chill that settles into my bones when I sit too long at my pc, and ……sigh….having to put my feet back into shoes to go outside.   It all makes me feel sad and a little hollow. 

I know for many of you it is quite the opposite.  People around me are thrilled for the nip in the air, the fall colors and Sunday football.  Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy many of the changes that fall brings, and I wouldn’t ever want to live somewhere that didn’t experience the wonder of earth’s magical ability to change seasons.  But when I look toward fall as a whole it appears to me as a long dark tunnel.  And I struggle. 

When I find myself in this state of mind I can only describe it as a longing.  The sense of “is this it?”.  A wanting for more.  A wanting for things to be different.   And the interesting thing when you observe your emotions is that they begin to entangle themselves into every aspect of your life.  Suddenly your job is not right, your activities feel stale and even your body suddenly appears more imperfect than usual when you glance in the mirror. 

This week we are working with Svadisthana, our sacral chakra, the element of water.  How fitting. 

The energy of water is receptive.  When we toss something into water, it is accepted fully.  Water opens herself up completely to wrap her arms around all that is placed within her.   Water does not struggle against, but changes form and flows easily around any and all obstacles. 

Water is the goddess.  Sensual, alive and open.  The tides and the current, and the radiance of the moon.  She is that part of us that is wild, instinctive and completely comfortable in our skin, without regard for what is happening on the outside.

Water makes us feel.

So my work right now is to let go.  To lie back in the current of the Universe and allow it – without this need to struggle.  To be able to separate what I feel vs who I am.   Recognizing that this funk is simply fluctuations in my mind, and that it, like everything outside of me is impermanent.  That soon I will be comfortable in the new season….and again in my own skin.  But for now to just let it be exactly as it is.  To LET it rain, soak in my tub and allow myself to feel what it is like to be low.  To wrap my arms around it.

Not easy.  But a lesson from the Goddess.

I couldn’t even coax Bunny Rabbit out in the rain last night,

SARAH