As we flowed through the second week of the water element,
and did a little shaking of our hips, there were 2 currents that flowed through
me. The first went something like this.
Let go, let go, let go, let go……………………..
……and then let go some more.
I was very blessed to be able to spend time by water on
several occasions this week. Here my
foot rests at the edge of the river where I sat and watched. The river has continuous movement, but
without struggle. Around the rocks,
through the crevices, onto the banks.
And with each breeze a leaf would float down to gently land on her
surface and be carried away. Here one
moment and gone the next. Impermanent.
Allowing itself to follow nature’s rhythm. Incredibly peaceful and so freeing.
Why can’t I do that?
Why can’t I just let go and be with what is here?
This weekend I was by the ocean. Friday night sitting in the sand soaking in
the full moon beams, and this morning under a clear blue sky and brilliant
sun, I found a nook next to a jetty to
be alone. To feel.
Here is what came. I
lie back and flow until an emotion rises that I just don’t like. Then I climb out onto shore to resist the
current. To resist the present
moment. But resisting the present moment
is like putting out your arms to hold
back a large wave. It is a tremendous
expenditure of energy with a 100% guarantee that you will get no return on your
investment. The present moment just
is. You cannot change it. When we learn to accept this moment
completely, exactly as it is – then and only then can we jump back in and be in
the flow.
This isn’t an easy concept to grasp, much less to do. You may say – “but that is settling”, or “by
accepting it I am saying it is right or ok”.
But it isn’t that at all.
Accepting this moment in no way means that you don’t want differently
for the future. But in order to create
new, we must release the past (earth) and be fully with what is right now
(water). Then from this point of
complete freedom we can plant the seed of intention of what we desire (fire).
Which brings me to the second current……
What is it that I long for?
What do I want?
It seems so easy, but oh I find it so hard. And the answer will never come from the
mind. Those mind wants are fleeting and
when filled will satisfy for only so long.
What I want comes from a much deeper place. I can feel it, and know that I have touched
it in the past, but still haven’t found the words. Maybe there are no words.
I listened to two talks this week that both kept coming back
to the same message - that it is in our vulnerability that we find our
power. The willingness to move forward
without knowing. This struck a chord
within. A sense that if I can become more vulnerable (which does not
come naturally to me and is awfully scary), more transparent, and have the
courage to allow all waves of emotion without numbing them, that perhaps then I can let go……and in that
process unleash those deepest soul’s desires.
Feel even more.
Because when all is said and done, and we look deeply into
the water, yes we can see the
bottom but at the very same time our own
reflection as well.
Become comfortable in
the discomfort of your emotional nakedness.
~Panache Desai
What makes you vulnerable, makes
you beautiful. ~Brene Brown
Feeling vulnerable as I hit the send button,
SARAH
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