......habits

Yogis,

The January meditation program is in full swing and we are now on day 12. I named it A New Year….A New Habit because the only way meditation works is if you actually do it! Every day. Which means that it has to become a habit. There can’t be a daily decision.

It got me thinking about habits. What are your habits? Those of you who have been reading these writings for awhile know that I have a lot. Early morning running for 35 years. Daily meditation and Friday night ‘time for me’ for 12 years. Drinking a chai tea latte each day for at least 10 years. Herbal infusions for 8 years and now oil pulling for about a year.

Once I decide on something I want to do I don’t have much trouble making it a habit. I choose it and do it. I have always been fairly disciplined even though I don’t think of myself as rigid. I just want it, so I do it. On the other hand, if there is something that may sound persuasive in words, or I see others do it and think I should, it might not stick. The key differentiating word is ‘want’.

Often, we believe we want to do something but in in reality we wish we were doing it. There is a huge difference. For example, I believe I should eat apples. I think I want to eat apples. I buy apples. They rot. Over and over. I wish I loved eating apples, but I clearly don’t ‘want’ to eat apples. This works the same for those habits we wish we didn’t have.

I was a nail biter my entire childhood. A habit. I thought I wanted to stop and tried many remedies including the foul-tasting nail polish. Nothing worked. Then one day at work when I was about 27, Dave, a coworker, looked at my nails and said, “You really shouldn’t bite them”. Time stopped. At that moment I chose to stop. That was it.

We are habitual beings. A silly example. There is a class that I have been going to that has yoga in the

title but is more about weights and squats. A new body challenge which I am enjoying. Everyone picks up two 3 lb and two 5 lb weights when they arrive, and then at the end you have to put them back on the racks.

The 3lb weights were always on the left and 5lb on the right. Well, for some reason they switched them about a month ago. It’s a total disaster! Half the students do it right and the other half in reverse. Two weeks ago, they put a big sign pointing to where the weights go. Do you think that helped? Nope. I keep picturing the poor person who has to sort them at the end of each night.

Friday night I noticed that I ‘want’ to put them in the right place, so I place them mindfully. Not sure everyone else is feeling the same way. The studio may be forced to switch back as habits are hard to change. But they can indeed be changed with will…..not thinking.   

They say it takes a month to form a new habit. I say it only takes a moment.

Once a stake is firmly planted in your inner ground that this is what you want, the rest will fall into place.

Otherwise, it is only a wish…..

Notice the difference,
SARAH

.....so long santa

Yogis,

Have you ever noticed that no matter how meticulously you sweep, dust and scoop the approximately 5 million needles that fall off the Christmas tree as you delicately (well maybe not delicately….) carry it out the front door, as soon as you put the broom away and release an exhale, fifty more needles appear?

I mean really. I feel like they are playing with me. Hiding out in the molding cracks, the door jamb and at the edge of each throw rug and then leaping back onto the floor when I have my back turned.

Yes, this was the de-christmas-ing weekend in our home. An annual event that requires lifting, ladders, super glue and much patience. A day I both look forward to and dread at the same time.

The gathering up of ornaments, Santas and place mats to be put back in their boxes is really only the first step.  It’s true, I could ignore the fact that the ten year old shopping bag that holds the left over wrapping paper, gifts bags and tissue paper has a tear in it and is missing a handle, but somehow I felt compelled this year to dump it out, go through the items and start anew. Which then somehow led me to my birthday ‘wrapping supplies cabinet’ which had become so packed that everything falls out when you open the door.  Down on my knees I went. I was ruthless.

Each time I removed things from a counter, the clear space left in its place screamed to be cleaned. Spots on now bared tablecloths no longer could be ignored. Opening the door to the frig only to find empty shelves with telltale signs of what had once filled them.  And so on…..and so on……

Laundry and dishes. A few stray items placed in the corner which need to be returned. Cookies that must be eaten so that the Christmas tins can make their way to the attic.

Two full trash cans later the house looks much bigger. Cleaner. Clearer. Each year I am startled by the space. My eyes drawn, not to objects, but the emptiness between them. A fresh new perspective.

A weekend filled with saying good-bye to what has been, but then in the next breath wondering what’s next.

I think I will have a cookie,
SARAH

......kind

Yogis,

How is it possible? The year where we hid 2000 dimes for the kids to find is now twenty years in the rear-view mirror. Yikes! Each year has been unique. Each offering its own gifts, challenges, lessons and learnings. Each exactly as it was supposed to be, creating the me I am now.

Yet here I stand yet again staring into the clear space of a new year filled with unlimited possibilities. What do I wish to create in this new year and new decade?

As time sweeps us into this uncharted territory of a new year it is time once again for me to select my ‘word’. A word that sets the intention of the frequency at which I want to vibrate. Fierce, simplicity and gratitude have guided me these last few years. The year 2020 will be led by the word – KIND.

The feeling tone of a word can be difficult to put into words. Oxford dictionary defines it as “generous, helpful and caring of other people” but that seems a little too fluffy to me for some reason. Too light. And kindness differs greatly from being nice. Can you feel that?

When I close my eyes and feel ‘kind’ the energy radiates from a deep well within. It doesn’t boast or look for something in return. It is simple and quiet, yet courageous. Steady and not disturbed by the outer world. A way of being….not of doing.

This week I was listening to Buffalo Springfield’s ‘For what it’s worth’ when time suddenly stood still. It felt like I was observing the world exactly as it was at that very moment…..  

There's something happening here
What it is ain't exactly clear

I saw each of us on one side or another, all believing we are right….

There's battle lines being drawn
Nobody's right if everybody's wrong

The word hate and polished forms of meanness thrown casually around on both sides…….

Singing songs and carrying signs
Mostly say, hooray for our side

As I watched without all of the stories, a call for kindness echoed back. Kindness to the world.

Kindness to bring us closer.

So that is my intention. To be kind. To others, to animals, insects, the earth and myself. Kind in my thoughts, words and how I move through my day. And most importantly, but most challenging.... kind to those with whom I disagree.  I will sit with this each morning as I meditate.

What is your word? I would love to hear it!

I am kind,
SARAH

.....giving or receiving?

Yogis,
Tis the season of giving…….or so it has been named. Gifts to be bought and wrapped, items to be made with care, and food to be cooked. But wait a minute.  What about receiving? For every gift given, isn’t there someone or something on the other end? What is a gift without a recipient……?

Most of us know how to gift. With giving we are in control. For some it comes as second nature, always knowing the perfect item. Others find it a bit more challenging but can rustle something up. Everyone is taught how to gift and we do it pretty well as demonstrated by the sales numbers at local stores and number of cars on the road this time of year. Receiving, however, is another story.

Giving and receiving are energies. The same current moving in opposite directions, like the flow of the tides. The energy of giving is active. Like the sun, it is a pouring out to another. Receiving is the other side of the coin. The same energy but receptive. Allowing. This side can feel vulnerable. We don’t get quite as much training on this aspect and it can show.

Let’s take a simple example with words instead of objects. Someone walks up to me and says. ‘I love your sweater’. My response – ‘Oh this old thing. I got it at the outlets on sale’. Or my other go to – ‘And I love your earrings!’ Their compliment had been a gift. My answers built a sudden dam in the flow. The energy stopped in its tracks. Do I not feel worthy of the compliment?

If on the other hand I had looked them in the eye and said ‘Thank you!’, by opening to receive their gift I have sent a gift back. Receiving is a gift we give the giver. Not always easy. I find that women in particular seem to struggle here as we are more accustomed to being the ones on the giving/mothering/in charge end. It can feel uncomfortable to receive. As someone described it recently, when a compliment is sent your way, wear it!

Is it better to give or receive?

Most people answer to give. But one cannot exist without the other. Learning to receive is a gift in and of itself. Water is our best teacher here. No matter what you throw in, she opens her arms wide and embraces it. Fully. 

When you are handed a gift this week, regardless of what it is or what it looks like, be like the water and draw it in and love it. The gift you will be sending back will be tenfold.

Running by the light of the moon this week I turned a corner where her rays suddenly shown directly down on me. A gift! I stopped and looked up to say thank you as I soaked them in. By accepting them fully a connection was created. A gift had been sent back and we were now in an intimate dance of gratitude.  It felt great.

Now I just have to remember to practice all of this on Christmas morning……..

By receiving I am giving,
SARAH

A New Year.....A New Habit

Yogis,
This month marks the twelfth anniversary of my meditation practice. I remember vividly how it all began.

At that time, I was going through a lot of changes. My yoga practice was deepening, the garden had wrapped me under her spell, and I was beginning to view the world from a slightly new perspective. An inner shift was taking place. A transition…..and I wanted to touch it more fully.

I didn’t know much about meditation. I only knew that it required me to get still, close my eyes and notice. So that is what I did. On my bedroom floor. Each day.

For months I recall my foot falling so asleep from sitting cross legged that I had to wait before attempting to stand. I remember hearing about different techniques that I tried. Counting my breaths. Watching my belly. Finding that I could focus for a short time but then catching myself off in some faraway story. Bringing myself back. Over and over.

I was told it was beneficial to find a set time of day to sit. I chose 6:30 am.  

Over the years my practice evolved. I now sit on my bed on folded blankets facing out the window. The length of time has extended to a half hour. I can focus longer and catch myself quicker, yet the stories still do come. What has remained constant is the 6:30 am time slot and the every day. Every day. I mourn for it when there is that rare day where I must miss.

Meditation is like a bag of flour. When you want to bake cookies, you must go buy a bag of flour. It isn’t the flour that is the destination, it is the cookies. I want to be happy…..so I meditate. I want to feel fulfilled…..so I meditate. I want to feel more deeply connected to all that is…..therefore I meditate. Everything we seek is inside.

As I have reflected on my practice this week, I see that it is the still point of my day. The one scheduled time where everything else waits while I tend to me. It wouldn’t happen without the practice. I am worth it.

While sitting on Friday morning an inspiration came through (which is quite common). I should bring

back the popular ‘Month of Meditation.’ I ran them many times but have not in the last few years. It is time to launch it again as we enter a new month in a new year in a new decade. A way to learn to meditate, reinvigorate your current practice, or simply know you are meditating with a virtually connected group.

‘A New Year….. A New Habit!’ with run for the month of January. Thirty-one daily emails with instruction, guidance, tips and inspiration for meditating at least 10 minutes each day. The cost for the program will be $25. I will be sending out more details, but if you know you are in….send me a note!

As I sat this morning, I heard the rain and the early morning birds. When I had closed my eyes, it was still dark but when they reopened the new day had dawned. Staring back at me were my trees, now naked once again, showing me who they truly are. I shined back.

Getting to know who I really am,
SARAH

......sidestepping fear

Yogis,

It all began with a thought…..as most things do.

Hanging out at the creek with a friend this fall, she mentions the annual craft fair that our town holds each December.  I have always loved this event. With about 50 vendors it is a great place to find unique gifts, run into neighbors and begin getting into the holiday spirit. Wait a minute……what if I became one of the vendors!

Like a flash, I could suddenly see it. Me, behind a table, displaying my plant medicines. Tinctures, salves, and oils. Handing out my cards. Sharing with people the benefits of using what the earth provides to us each day as a path to wellness. Right then I pulled out my phone and sent an email to find out who handles the event and within 24 hours the table was rented, and I was on the vendor list! Wow, that was easy.

Over the next few weeks I began to think through what I would need to make to have enough without so much that I needed an empty closet at home for what didn’t sell. I was excited by the grand vision, but soon thoughts of those pesky details began trickling in.

I have been wanting to redesign my business card for about a year, but now action was needed.  Figure out exactly what my message is, select colors, find a printer and order. Done. But wait…..a business card only does so much. I should have a handout that gives a better picture of what I offer. Classes, workshops, pricing and maybe even a picture for a more personal touch. Back online I go. Breathe…..See myself explaining tinctures to someone.

Working with my oil products I notice that my labels at times smear, which is fine when selling to students and friends but may need an upgrade. Research uncovers waterproof labels but when I try to print on them my words are not even close to the center of the stickers. A plea sent out to the street for assistance is responded to with silence. Sigh. Breathe…..Visualize a customer walking away with a bag of products.

Word is that most vendors take credit cards. Ugh. Ok, Square I will finally bite the bullet. Sign up, order and learn to use (with a humble ask to the Universe for it to work that day). The inner voice ramps up as the date approaches. What about receipts? Bags, I need bags. A banner might look nice. Cash for change. Yikes, how will my display be set up? Exhale…..See someone trying my plantain balm.

Now, if back at the creek someone had told me that I would have to be designing cards, postcards and banners, creating signage and learning new technology, the registration form would most likely not have made it into the mail. Fear would have eased its way in. Fear of failing. Fear of making a mistake. Fear of stepping into the uncomfortable place of ‘new’. But this time I had unknowingly sidestepped fear.

I realized a lot. Our role in manifesting is actually simple. Uncover what you want, visualize the end result as if it is already here, and trust. Yes, the details and obstacles will arise, but if allowed into that initial vision, fear becomes like a coat that is too tight. It keeps us small. When fear arises, breathe and set your sights beyond.

As the words in the Cat Stevens song in my playlist reminded me, ‘…..don’t wear fear, or nobody

will know you’re there.’

I want them to know I’m there!

Seeing,
SARAH

.....rainbows and frogs

Yogis,

I find it humorous each year that we have a dedicated week of gratitude. The days surrounding Thanksgiving are overflowing with commercials, ads, shows and discussion around the dinner table on what each of us is thankful for. A wonderful tradition which gives us pause and allows us to notice, but then come Monday morning……not another word about it.

I am grateful for sunshine on my face.

During the holiday we name the large gifts we have in our lives. Family, health, friends and a warm home. The love and comfort around us that make us feel good inside. But if they were all to disappear, would your gratitude fade with them?

I am grateful for birds and the indescribable color blue of the sky on a clear day.

Gratitude is an energy of the heart and is part of you. Always. It need not have anything on the outside to create it and cause it to glow. It’s only ask is that you turn on the light located in the center of your chest and shine. On everything and on everyone as they are all gifts.

I am grateful for the obstacles and challenges which have pushed me to grow.

Stop right now, imagine a light shining out from inside and look around you. What can you spot that you are grateful for? Is it the fuzzy blanket over there that you use while you read? That favorite coffee mug, your down coat or the way the oranges look in the bowl on the counter? The view out the window, the music playing, the color red or the sound of the rain? Keep looking.

I am grateful for the feeling of dropping into a warm bath, the floating rose petals and the flame of the candle. For my tea, dark chocolate, rainbows (who doesn’t love rainbows!!), bubbles and goats. So grateful for my yoga mat, going barefoot and ice cream cones.

The more you shine your light, the brighter it becomes and the more you find to shine it on. Soon you notice that you no longer need anything to be ‘grateful for’ as you now ‘are gratitude’. Every day new. Each day amazing. Even the Monday after Thanksgiving…..

Sunflowers, sweaters and honey,
SARAH