Yoga....is it something we do?

Dear Yogis,

Yoga.  Everyone is doing it!  Yoga studios are springing up everywhere.  Yoga clothes from stores like Lululemon are creeping into everyday life.  Yoga channels.  Yoga sites.  Yoga in schools.   Even yoga for dogs!

But what really is yoga?  Can we really "do" yoga......or is there more to it than that?

I have been practicing asana for 15 years now.   After the first ten I was drawn to meditation.  Then my diet began to change.  And slowly but surely yoga has crept into my very perception of life and my aspirations of how I want to "be" in it.

I can see clearly now that we don't "do" yoga...... that yoga is a way of being.

The doing comes in the form of the discipline of the consistent asana practice.  But asana is only one of the limbs that comprise the 8 limbs of yoga.  It is where most of us enter the yogic path, yet is only one small part of the wonder that yoga can  bring to our lives.

So let's step back to the beginning - the first limb - which are the Yamas.  There are five yamas.  They are guideposts on how to live ethically.....right living.  And the very first Yama, the bedrock upon which all of yoga rests is Ahimsa.

Ahimsa in its literal translation means non-violence.  OK check!  I got that one.  I have never killed anyone and I don't get into fights.  I am not a violent person so I am good on this one......right?  But ahimsa is not one we can slide by quite so quickly.

The most rudimentary concept that ahimsa, and all of yoga, is built on is that all things are sacred.  All people.  All creatures.  The water. The air.  The earth.  Our breath.  And that therefore we should not cause harm to any of them.

And not cause harm not only by our hand, but also not by our words, .  Hmmm.   Now that's a little more challenging.  Ahimsa would mean no longer speaking ill of others, gossiping or degrading anyone who may be different than us.   It is when the tongue loses its ability to injure.

But then one step further, not even in thought.  Wow.  No mean spirited thoughts.  No inner dialog on how we will "show them" a thing or two.   Not even any harmful or negative thoughts about yourself!

But even one step further......  the deeper meaning of ahimsa is not that we do not harm, but that the desire to harm within us no longer exists!  That we are completely clear of any desire to cause injury to anything.  So it is not "not doing harm" which would just be a form of restraint, but instead is such an expansive fulfilled strength within that the need to compare, compete, take from or lessen others vanishes.  How amazingly freeing that would feel!

So ahimsa, like all of yoga, isn't something we do.  It is something we become by following the practices.

One definition of ahimsa that I found in my reading which I believe begins to describe its sheer power is this:
    ~ the force that is unleashed when all desire to harm has been eradicated

It would be like comparing hate to love.   Love isn't "not hating".  Love is an amazing force whose brilliance shines when hate no longer exists. 

Yoga....Ahimsa.....Love.    Even the bugs.

Being,
SARAH

Welcome to this moment!

Yogis,

Stop whatever you are doing.  Simply stop. 

Notice how you are sitting and feel where your sit bones are making contact with the chair.  Plant your feet on the floor beneath you.  Feel the texture of the floor.  Imagine roots growing out through the feet and the sit bones.  Get settled.

Begin to  feel the space you are occupying.  No rush.  Now slowly look at all that surrounds you.  Look as if you have never seen it before.  See all of the colors and textures. 

Start to notice the sounds around you….first those that are close…..and slowly expanding out to those in the distance.  Take your time. 

Draw your awareness back now and shift it into the body.  What sensations are you having right now?    Feel them fully. 

Begin to notice your breath.  The inhale as it traces the line through the center of the body from the pelvic floor to the open crown of the head.  Filling.  Expanding.  Lifting.  Then the exhale as it traces the line back down, leaving the body and taking with it anything you no longer need.  Emptying.  Draining.  Heavy.  Take 3 more breaths in this manner.

So now here you are…..at the present moment.  Welcome!

 

It is only in the present moment that life happens.  Not tomorrow, and not last week.  Only right here, right now.  Notice how the word for right now is present……it is a gift.  Every single one of them a gift waiting to be opened. 

So often we find ourselves waiting for some future moment.  As soon as this project is done.  As soon as I retire.  Once the kids are gone.   Next year, later……  But once we get to that perceived future moment, things are no different than they are at this moment, yet we raced through thousands of others without fully embracing them.

Or we replay past moments, often years later, wishing things were like they were then.  Attached to a memory while life happens around us, without us noticing. 

Or we fill up our days so completely that all of the moments blur.  Getting a lot “done” but with nothing that takes your breath away. 

Every day is comprised of thousands of moments.  Each one as completely unique as a snowflake.  Each one a chance for something amazing……but you have to be present to win. 

So how can I be “here” more?  By letting go.  Letting go.  Letting go.    And the best teacher, which you carry with you wherever you go, is your breath.  Your breath is your connection to now. 

So stop again.   Simply stop.   Take a slow mindful breath and on the exhale relax your muscles.  Now imagine you have many layers…like an onion…and on the next breath relax one layer deeper.  And again.  And again.  Until you are relaxing your muscles all the way to your center.   As if you are melting.   Take 5 more breaths in this completely relaxed state. 

So now here you are…..at the present moment again.  But so different than the last one.  Welcome!

 

 

This is mindfulness practice.  And it does take practice!  But it is so worth it. 

This week try putting several “present moment” appointments on your calendar or in your phone.   When the reminder pops up – stop…....simply stop.    Breathe, notice and open your gift.  Over and over and over. 

Aaaaahhhhhhhhh………………

Amazed by life,

SARAH

Summer.....the season of strength

Dear Yogis,

I’m back from a week in the sun.  Tan, relaxed and ready. 

Remember the craze when everyone was getting their colors done?  I never did because I didn’t feel the need to pay money to be told that I was a Summer.  I already knew it (even though I completely ignored the “color” advice about how summers should wear pastels……..  and I will stick with my brown and green thank you very much).    I was born a Summer.

In summer I come alive.  The shoes come off, the hair gets blonder and wilder (….wilder than usual) and I feel lean, energized and carefree.  The tent comes out of the closet for some backyard campouts and I putter around my garden for hours on end.    I can feel the heat in my body and it flushes my body with sensation.    I feel strong.

Summer is the season of Fire.  It is the season of transformation – moving forward and stepping out of our comfort zone.  It is when we build inner heat and power.  It is the season of strength.

But what does it mean to be strong????

 

Webster’s dictionary defines strong as:

·         Having great physical power

·         Having moral or intellectual power

·         Having great resources (such as wealth or talent)

Yes, in yoga asana practice we work to strengthen the physical body.   Each part of our body over time becomes much stronger.  So if I do yoga for many years does that make me a strong person?  By the dictionary definition – yes it does.   But I think strength goes so much deeper than that.   That the toning of our core, being able to hold plank or crow for a minute, or pop up into handstand is simply a means to find our inner strength.  A path to give us the confidence, focus and inner knowing that if we can hold ourselves up physically, we can take that off the mat into real life where the challenges are so much greater. 

So what does it mean to be strong?

Let me give some of my SARAH definitions:

Fully allow your emotions.    We are always told to be strong when difficult things happen – but that usually means to be stoic and keep the emotions at bay.   But what takes much greater strength is to flow with them.  Sorrow, anger, fear, desire.  They are all a part of each and every one of us and they are neither good nor bad.  They are what make us human.   Being strong does not mean you don’t have fear, in fact you might even have more, but you move toward it and not away.  Being strong does not mean you don’t cry (that would be unhealthy), in fact you may actually cry more to let out stored sorrow so there is more room for joy.  Being strong doesn’t mean you can’t express anger…..but it does mean realizing that the anger is part of you and has absolutely nothing to do with anyone else.  Now that takes strength.

Let others SEE you.   Being you and not what others expect or want from you is not easy.  We usually feel that “me” is not quite good enough, so we wear our many masks to better ourselves up.  Better mom,  better spouse, better worker.    That if others saw us exactly as we are they may not love us.  But…..we are absolutely at our most beautiful when we are ourselves.  We glow in our natural state.  We are each perfect.   

Admit when you are wrong.  I have always struggled with this one.  I like to be right.  But being right in life does not win you any prizes.  It takes much more courage to see and allow other peoples view, without the constant need to try to change them.    A work in progress for me.

Relax.  And I don’t mean take a vacation.  Relax at every moment that it occurs to you.  Soften the breath.  Let go of the jaw.  Melt the muscles.  And the hardest time to do this is when life is confronting you face to face in the forms of someone angry, an unexpected traffic jam when you are late, or less cash coming in this month than expected.   It  is easy to react. We are quite good at that.  But it takes incredible strength not to react, but to relax.   

Open yourself up to be vulnerable.   Send out love all of the time.  Give without expecting anything in return.   Take chances.

Trusting your inner voice.  Your intuition.  Living from this place without the need to have everything confirmed by an “expert” or proven in a lab.  Doing what feels right.  Asking the Universe for guidance and being willing to move forward with its answer J

Be flexible.  Strength in its standard definition can make us tight.  It can be a contraction of muscles and emotions.  And when our body or mind are inflexible, our lives can quickly follow behind.   Wanting things to be  a certain way and muscling through when they aren’t.  When we are flexible we flow with the twists and turns of life effortlessly.  Instead of a clear line of site from here to there we are ok with some meandering along curved paths because deep inside we know we will get there……and the curves are where the fun is.  

Look people right in the eye.  You have heard this one before.   Not for the faint hearted.  But when you have inner strength you are ready to share it with others.

 

Not always trying so hard................spending more time being.

And finally, having complete and utter trust in life.   This is the one that all of the others above stem from.   To me true strength is when you know…..you just know…..without any doubt….that everything is ok.    That you can lie back and close your eyes knowing that the Universe is a benevolent being of which you are one unique beautiful spark.

Dancing as if no one is watching,

SARAH

Crown......the journey of a single day.

Dearest Yogis,

Wow, Wow, Wow!!!   What a truly amazing summer solstice we had.  Warm with a gentle breeze, not a cloud in the sky, clear, bright, and teeming with the bursting energy of summer.  Friday was one of those days that was just perfect.  One of those days (at least here in our area) that you would be hard pressed to come up with one single thing that you wished were different. 

As we come to the closing of this particular chakra journey, I watched my journey through that single day.  Friday, June 21…..the summer solstice. 

5:15 am (yes, there are yogis who will agree when I ask if they can come even earlier sometimes), yoga class.  It was the 10^th time in two weeks that I taught this version of a crown energy class.  Working on headstands to awaken the sensations at the top of the head.   Beginning to soften it, imagine it opening up to the sides and energetically reaching skyward.   A new student, who I was not expecting, comes to class.  New doors opening.  I closed the class, as we did all week, with a 25 minute Yoga Nidra, which is  a led deep relaxation.  Yogic sleep. 

So open and relaxed for my morning meditation.    I see my mullein out the window.  What an awesome plant she is!

As I headed out the door to head to my favorite store – the Coop – a bunny who has made his home in the backyard this week was there waiting.  Good morning!

 

Time for work.  But as I walk into my home office I see the box with Molly’s ashes sitting on my desk.   They had arrived last night.   Tears.   Opening it all up again.  Missing her.

A large business deal that I had been supporting from the sidelines all week clearly required me to jump in.  A sense of resistance.     I am trying to get ready to leave on vacation and this was going to need my energy and focus.  Why can’t they figure this out on their own…..Irritated.   Big exhale.  Get on the phone and be there.  Help.  Bring everyone back to a clear plan.  I see that this is what  I am good at, so it works.  Everyone feeling clearer and more confident. 

A call from one man that I work with over the phone quite a bit, but we don’t really “know” each other.  He mentions something about his doctor so I ask.  A business call takes a sharp turn and by the end we have agreed that I will help him learn to meditate via email.    The Universe asks so I give. 

Lunch was my weekly walk to the river.  First a baby turtle sunning himself on a leaf amidst the algae ….

Then the much larger version…..

The beauty of the river was breathtaking.  We are in the season of darning needles and dragonflies.  The deep croak of the frogs in the marshy areas can be felt deep in my core. 

 

But it was the view on my walk back that really opened my eyes wide.   Oh my……..
 

Finished working and set my vacation “out of office” and headed out to the garden to gather herbs to take to the beach.    Rosemary, oregano, parsley, basil, peppermint and thyme.    Aromatherapy just by clipping, burying my nose in them and bagging them for the trip.   The chipmunks and birds all know me now and descend into the circle to see what I have for them.  Noticing that I didn’t have anything, the titmouse clearly let me know that I should be heading back to the garage for the rations.  She follows me there with anticipation. 
 

 

Then the Friday night routine……. with a twist.  At our hot yoga class we ran into a young woman I know through my son who has recently gone through teacher training.  So good to reconnect with a fellow yogi.    And she let us know that Dale, who we have known since he was about 5, was playing with his band right down the street.  So we shook things up and went to a different restaurant!  They were awesome.  Everyone happy.  Everyone swaying to the music.  Made me feel young. 

9:15 pm – still dusk

Back for “time for me” as l lit the candles, turned on the music and hung out my back window to feel the woods.  Realizing how unbelievably nourishing/healing/life affirming this time is for me each week.  Taking care of ourselves can feel selfish, but it is quite the opposite.  It is the most important thing we can do.   If we aren’t at peace and fulfilled, how can we ever hope to pass that on.  Filling in order to share.

Lightening bugs like Christmas lights twinkling through the trees.   And the moon!!!  Have you been seeing her?    She beamed down on me as I soaked in the tub.   Feeling alive and in love with life. 

And fittingly, as we slept, a bat had gotten in the house and was flying around the kitchen.  My youngest son took it upon himself to catch and release it without even stirring us.  Proud of him. 

One day.  Just one day. 

………………

Full Super moon tonight!  Happy summer everyone.

 

He thinks he is hiding....but I keep telling him I can see him!

 

Keeping my eyes wide open…..don’t want to miss a thing,
SARAH

Crown....being with whatever is

Dear Yogis,

Thank you all so, so much for the notes, flowers, kind words, plants, poems and hugs.   I could feel all of you around me, like a meditation shawl drawn tight around my shoulders.    Being held.  Receiving all that you gave.   Grateful to, and for, all of you.

It made me realize that the depth of sorrow, is then filled in by an outpouring of love.    Without the one, the other would not have happened.    That it is in our toughest times that we experience the best in others….and in ourselves.  Not only did I feel all of your energy, but my own heart, after several days of crying, expanded back open and was so filled to the top, that all I could do was share it out to others.  And I felt that somehow even the animals sensed it.  At one point this week I looked out my window to the garden and it contained 2 chipmunks, a black squirrel, a gray squirrel, a cardinal, butterflies, a morning dove and my friend the titmouse!    

It is an ever flowing fountain.  And the more we give, the more we are filled.  It is the opening of the crown of the head to allow the Universe to flow through us….with whatever it brings.    Even grief.

 

We are not a society that deals well with death, sorrow, tears or sadness.  We don’t like to talk about it and when it happens we immediately try to “cheer” everyone up.    It is too uncomfortable.  It doesn’t fit into our vision of what it is to be a happy person. 

I have not had a lot of grief in my life.  There is only one time that I truly had to grieve.   So this week I tried to stay present and feel what it is like.    Allow it and be with it.  Crying when the tears came instead of wiping them away.  Letting the sobs out without trying to swallow them down.   Letting go into the pain.    And I noticed several things.

Grief, like anger, joy and love, or any of our emotions….. is an energy.  It has a physical presence. First I noticed how heavy it is.  The heart truly felt as if it had doubled in weight and was sitting slightly lower in the chest.  I only seem to notice my heart when it is contracting in grief or blooming with love.  Like a fist closing tight, only to open wide again. 

That when we allow the sobbing we are naturally drawn downward.   It has a sinking downward pull, usually bringing us to a prone position on a bed, or even on the floor.  Releasing out through the front of the body into the earth.   The earth will always take anything you no longer need.    She holds us.   And she would never let us drown. 

And in deep sorrow there is an intense contraction inward, right at the core, through the line that runs from the crown to the tailbone slightly in front of our spine.  Our whole being, breath and awareness dive deep to that line of energy that we work with on the chakra journey.   It feels like a clenching – a wringing out.   Like a strong squeezing out of a sponge that is then ready to soak up the new. 

I noticed that when the skies open to release a downpour, the eyes swell and spill over with tears.  The cleansing and healing power of water, both within and without.

………..And finally that whenever I came to my mat to practice, got still and began to breathe and move, that is when it became the most real. 

This is why we do yoga.  Yoga isn’t about how beautiful our dancer pose is, or how long we can stay in headstand, but is about how real we can let life be.    Can we make the time in our lives, every day, to stop.  To notice.  To be.  To flow with exactly what is there for us at that moment – without the need to “cheer” it up or change it in any way.   As humans we are blessed with the ability to feel an enormous range of sensations and emotions.  But if we choose to block any of them, or not get close to some out of fear, we limit our aliveness.  It is like building little dams inside the body so that the river no longer flows to its fullest potential.    Or removing a couple of crayons from the box.  Yoga helps us to have the inner strength to come face to face with each feeling – allowing discomfort – and removing the obstacles to allow the fountain to flow.  Being complete. 

So as we ground with our feet, to connect to the earth, and reach up through an open crown of the head, connecting to sky,  feel your breath and visualize it as the hum of the Universe flowing in and through you.  With no blocks.  No obstacles.   Completely  free.  Trusting.   Feeling it ALL……………….

 

Miss Molly - Always ready to teach!

Full and Alive,

SARAH

Molly.... a life well lived

Yogis,

It is with a very heavy heart that I write today.   This morning we chose to let Molly, our amazing yellow lab, go.   She would have been 16 in August…..an incredible feat for a large dog.  I would venture, at least a good 2 years beyond her expiration date.

Every now and then a very special dog comes along.  That was Molly.  She was an old soul.

She touched more people than some humans I know.  You couldn’t help but love her.  I can’t count the number of people who have told me over the years that they never liked dogs until they met her.  She knew how to work her way in.  Gently but steadily she would work you over until you softened and let her in.   She knew how to “lean in”. 

Molly was always my faithful yoga assistant.  Greeting each student as she traveled from mat to mat, finally settling behind someone to breathe with us.  And she was often our role model during savasana or meditation for that deep rhythmic ocean breath.   She watched me do my own daily practice and loved lying on my mat.  She knew how to relax. 

But boy was she stubborn!!  When she was done, or didn’t want to do as you were suggesting, she would sit down – plant those front feet – pull back with her neck and with strength like bull, let her intentions known.  She knew how to express her needs. 

She didn’t have a mean bone in her body.  I only heard her growl once in her entire 16 years, and I think that may have been at a sweatshirt that she mistook for some threatening animal.   Her response to aggression from others was to roll onto her back with her legs up in the air.   She knew how to allow without the need for struggle. 

Her absolute favorite activity was our late afternoon visit with our next door neighbor Danny.  They had a special bond.  In his driveway she was the queen bee.  Not only did she get her own treats, but every time another dog on the street was brought by, she got yet another for each one that they got.    Once we all settled in to sit and talk, she would plant herself right on his shoe. And when it was time to go home I would tie her to the front railing so she could lie in the grass and watch for him.  Our neighbor called her the compass dog as her nose always pointed due west.   She definitely knew how to love. 

So I grieve.   She has left a very large space that right now feels so empty.   But I do know that every death gives room for new births, and that the space….in its right time….will fill in with other life affirming spirits. 

Late last night as I lay with her and could feel her struggle, I remembered the words of my teacher Susun Weed.  That as women, we give life but we most also accept the responsibility of giving death.  That is our role.    I have never had to do it before.   But as we all sat around her on the floor in the vet today and heard all of our options, there was then that pause.   And it was clear that the expectation of everyone in the room, without discussion, was that I would make the choice.  So I did.  I gave death. 

We know move on our journey to the crown of the head.  Our final stop…..but not really.  The crown of the head is our place of enlightenment.  And to be awakened…. enlightened…. Is to allow a death of the old  in ourselves to experience a birth of the new.   And here we also must embrace ALL.  Not just the light and the  joyous, but the dark, the sorrow, and the difficult.  To be with it ALL.  To truly feel it ALL.   

Finally, one of my soul sisters, Lakshmi, told me recently that one of the spiritual beliefs is that a well loved dog is preparing for an incarnation as a human.  I love that.  If or when Molly comes back as a human, we should all hope to have the grace of having her in our circle.

“when it’s time to expire we take off this attire”  MC Yogi

 

I love you Molly,

SARAH

Third Eye.....making life more vivid

Dear Yogis,

Take the index and middle finger of the right hand and place them on the third eye (you will instinctively know when you settle into the right spot – like tuning into a channel with a radio dial).   Rest your elbow on the front of your body so you can lower your chin to rest your head on the fingers.  Close your eyes and shift your inner gaze to that spot.  Relax completely.   Take long slow breaths.  Lean in to that space with your energy.   Connect. 

The third eye is the seat of our psychic abilities.    We all have them, it is just a matter of to what extent they are noticed, used, opened and trusted.  Like any of our other abilities, it takes practice. 

What really are psychic abilities?  We often picture the gypsy sitting in the storefront on the boardwalk …crystal balls….tarot cards….. palm readers.  I know I did.  I was always very skeptical.  But as I work with them I realize that they are merely an expansion of our physical senses.  Being able to “see” things that our physical eyes can’t see, “hear” things that our ears can’t detect and “feel” things with our whole body that our hands can’t touch.    Reaching outward beyond the artificial boundary of our body to sense what is there.

As humans, our physical senses are quite limited.  We all know we can’t hear many, or maybe even most of the sounds that animals can hear.   The range of color our eyes can detect is narrow.   And when we have truly begun to slow down, be present and notice now, we start getting glimpses into how much more there is that we could feel if we only allowed. 

One example we all can relate to is intuition.  Just knowing something with no factual basis.   Sensing that the phone is going to ring.  Thinking of someone hours before they appear in your life.  Changing lanes on the highway because you just know the person to the side of you is going to move over – even though there is no turn signal or movement in your direction.   Begin to notice these in your life.  Don’t just brush them off so casually to coincidence.  Notice where you felt it in your body.

Dreaming also arises from the space of the third eye.   Entire movies in full color played on the blank screen behind the forehead.   Sometimes filling the entire body with so much sensation that it stays with you throughout the next day.   “Feeling” as if it is real……..and who exactly says that it is not?

 

 

So when we work with and expand these 6^th senses, what happens?  Why would I want to do that???

Because life becomes more vivid……… We see more.   We feel more. We hear more. Colors become brighter.  Our range becomes bigger.  Our intuition becomes stronger.   We experience everything that we always did plus more!

There are many practices that we can use to open and expand our psychic senses.  Here are just a few simple ones that you could experiment with:

·         The exercise this post opened up with can be done to connect with yourself, the energy of the Universe or with another who is not physically present.    You would just bring them to mind, feel that the pressure of your fingers is their forehead resting on yours and sense their energy.   Keep drawing them closer until you can “feel” them right there with you.

·         Candle gazing – use a standard tapered candle in a dark room.  Have it on something so that it is at eye level a couple of feet away.  Keeping your eyes wide open gaze at the part of the flame directly over the wick.    The intention is not to blink, but you blink when you need to.  You are energetically keeping the eyes open but relaxed.    And you just watch.  Not “trying” to see anything which requires constricting the eye muscles, but instead expanding and softening the eye muscles to see more.   A steady soft gaze. 

·         Mirror gazing – same as above but you sit a foot or two in front of the mirror and gaze into your own eyes.  First into one eye….then into the other…eventually into both.      This can also be done as third eye gazing where you put a small circle/dot sticker on your third eye and gaze there.    Best done in a dim room where the light source is behind you.  This one can get quite intense.  If so, just release the gaze, take a breath and then go back.

·         To enhance dreaming – mugwort is a dream herb and can be found growing wild typically in areas that are near streams or rivers.    I also have plenty here in my garden that you are always welcome to!   You clip off a top of one of the plants and put it inside of your pillowcase, below the pillow.  Leave it there.   Over time it just dries up and you can replace it…..of course always thanking the one that you used and putting it back out to the earth.   I have been sleeping with mugwort for over a year and I have gone from rarely dreaming to nightly dreaming, with many providing small insights and new sensations.    Thank you mugwort!

·         Daily meditation.  Every day…..at least 10 minutes.  J

·         And of course…..spending  more time in silence and in nature.   Listening for the chirp of the birds and the wind in the leaves, watching for the moon in the night sky, walking barefoot and feeling the air on your skin.  Awakening the physical senses to prepare them to grow.

Turning up your frequency to the “vibrant” channel!

Wanting to feel it all,

SARAH