Dear Yogis,
Thank you all so, so much for the notes, flowers, kind
words, plants, poems and hugs. I could feel all of you around me, like a
meditation shawl drawn tight around my shoulders. Being
held. Receiving all that you gave. Grateful to, and for, all of you.
It made me realize that the depth of sorrow, is then filled in
by an outpouring of love. Without the one, the other would not have
happened. That it is in our toughest times that we
experience the best in others….and in ourselves. Not only did I feel all of your energy, but my
own heart, after several days of crying, expanded back open and was so filled to
the top, that all I could do was share it out to others. And I felt that somehow even the animals
sensed it. At one point this week I
looked out my window to the garden and it contained 2 chipmunks, a black
squirrel, a gray squirrel, a cardinal, butterflies, a morning dove and my friend
the titmouse!
It is an ever flowing fountain. And the more we give, the more we are
filled. It is the opening of the crown
of the head to allow the Universe to flow through us….with whatever it
brings. Even grief.
We are not a society that deals well with death, sorrow,
tears or sadness. We don’t like to talk
about it and when it happens we immediately try to “cheer” everyone up. It is too uncomfortable. It doesn’t fit into our vision of what it is
to be a happy person.
I have not had a lot of grief in my life. There is only one time that I truly had to
grieve. So this week I tried to stay present and feel
what it is like. Allow
it and be with it. Crying when the tears
came instead of wiping them away.
Letting the sobs out without trying to swallow them down. Letting go into the pain. And I
noticed several things.
Grief, like anger, joy and love, or any of our emotions…..
is an energy. It has a physical
presence. First I noticed how heavy it
is. The heart truly felt as if it had
doubled in weight and was sitting slightly lower in the chest. I only seem to notice my heart when it is
contracting in grief or blooming with love.
Like a fist closing tight, only to open wide again.
That when we allow the sobbing we are naturally drawn
downward. It has a sinking downward
pull, usually bringing us to a prone position on a bed, or even on the
floor. Releasing out through the front
of the body into the earth. The earth will always take anything you no
longer need. She holds us. And
she would never let us drown.
And in deep sorrow there is an intense contraction inward,
right at the core, through the line that runs from the crown to the tailbone
slightly in front of our spine. Our
whole being, breath and awareness dive deep to that line of energy that we work
with on the chakra journey. It feels like a clenching – a wringing
out. Like a strong squeezing out of a sponge that
is then ready to soak up the new.
I noticed that when the skies open to release a downpour, the eyes
swell and spill over with tears. The cleansing and healing power of water,
both within and without.
………..And finally that whenever I came to my mat to practice,
got still and began to breathe and move, that is when it became the most
real.
This is why we do yoga.
Yoga isn’t about how beautiful our dancer pose is, or how long we can stay
in headstand, but is about how real we can let life be. Can we make the time in our lives, every
day, to stop. To notice. To be.
To flow with exactly what is there for us at that moment – without the
need to “cheer” it up or change it in any way.
As humans we are blessed with the
ability to feel an enormous range of sensations and emotions. But if we choose to block any of them, or not
get close to some out of fear, we limit our aliveness. It is like building little dams inside the
body so that the river no longer flows to its fullest potential. Or
removing a couple of crayons from the box.
Yoga helps us to have the inner strength to come face to face with each
feeling – allowing discomfort – and removing the obstacles to allow the
fountain to flow. Being complete.
So as we ground with our feet, to connect to the earth, and reach
up through an open crown of the head, connecting to sky, feel your breath and visualize it as the hum
of the Universe flowing in and through you.
With no blocks. No
obstacles. Completely free. Trusting. Feeling it ALL……………….
Miss Molly - Always ready to teach!
Full and Alive,
SARAH
No comments:
Post a Comment