.......the weather

Yogis,
Sometimes I have to laugh at us humans. We believe ourselves to be all knowing, in control and most certainly in charge of this world.  Funny when you stop to think about it.

There is more ocean than land.  There is more land without human feet on it than land that we touch. Add in the sky, moon, sun and outer galaxies and we become a mere speck in this vast universe. But my how we puff out our chest.

The weather is a perfect example and March is one time of year I notice it.  We somehow seem to think (or perhaps wish) that we have this weather thing down.  This year I began hearing the chatter in February.

We had an extremely warm February with one day reaching 79 degrees.  Early in the month the crocus was already brilliantly displayed against the bare brown earth, and by the last week of the month the forsythia was beginning its show. Many trees had their buds and the daffodil’s heads were bowed down in that final pause they take before lifting their smiling faces.  Even the cherry blossoms were threatening to begin their bloom.

“It’s too early……. They are going to freeze……  The trees are confused….. This is supposed to happen in the middle of March” and so on. 

I was gone the whole following week, expecting to see a full bloom on my return, but nature had another plan. The cold had set back in and the landscape appeared suspended in time. Wind, snow and below freezing temperatures at night sent us all back inside.

“This weather is crazy…….It’s mid-March and should be warmer……. I’m sick of this…… We are way below normal…… Spring is supposed to be starting” and so on.

Every year it’s as if we have never lived through a March!  I have been listening to the talk everywhere I go and do admit that I am one of the worst offenders.  Somehow, we have convinced ourselves that Mother Nature is always out of whack and that we are in the know due to some arbitrary numbers on the squares of the calendar page we have hanging on the wall.  But we have it backward.

The trees, not us, are guided by the whisper in the wind.  The flowers follow the sun’s direction.  The birds hear the stirrings in the ground below.  The owl hoots with the moon. They are the ones that know. There is no confusion there. We would be better off watching and following their lead. We simply don’t like not holding the reins.  It makes us uncomfortable. 

When is the last time that the tulips didn’t bloom?  Or trees didn’t turn green with leaves?  Have we ever had a year where the ice didn’t melt?  As always, spring will arrive and in no time we will be complaining about the heat and allergies and what an unusual summer we’re having.

We are funny creatures. How about we all let out a big exhale and release into and embrace whatever comes. But what would we talk about if not the weather?

Watching the stars for direction,
SARAH

......the vacation lens

Yogis,

Whenever I am on a vacation, especially in a new place, I find I see myself clearer……and not always in the best light. It may be that the different background on which my thoughts and habits are projected make them stand out. Or the fact that with new scenery as my stage, the more familiar role of ‘me’ catches my eye more often. It’s as if there is a vacation lens on life that I am peering through.

Whatever it is, I notice.

Looking through the vacation lens.........

Here is some of what I saw last week. I feel that perhaps I have written about a few of these before, but I don’t plan to look back to check. If they are still catching my gaze, then they must need to flow onto paper yet again. 

1. The first day of a vacation is hard for me.  I am grumpy in transition. Nothing is as I expected it to be. The town has more traffic, the rental house seems darker and beach accesses are hard to find. Two days later I love it all!  Why, oh why do I always have to throw day 1 away?
2. I am a horrible back seat driver. Throw in a steering wheel on the right and driving on the left and my shrieks only become louder. I have a permanent lean toward the right and my hand white knuckles the handle.  Hand signals develop to indicate I believe I am about to be impaled by a branch on my side or that we aren’t slowing down enough to yield to the mayhem of a roundabout. I know I am annoying. I can’t seem to stop myself.
3. I don’t like dinner. Not sure why but it became crystal clear this week. I love morning and my late breakfast. Afternoon arrives. I am reading my book, lying in the sun, taking dips in the water. Relaxed, happy, free. My vision of the perfect day is staying right there until around 4, a late lunch at a beach bar and hanging out back at the house in the evening. I find dinner jarring. Too much food, too formal and an interruption to my bliss. Does anyone else feel like that?
4. If my hair could speak it would be yelling YES!!! after many salt water dips and sun and breeze dryings.  Its as if it comes alive. If I could, I wouldn’t let shampoo touch it the whole week, but not sure everyone else would be as happy with that.
5. The absolute best sip of beer ever is the first sip on the hot beach of a bottled IPA that has been in the cooler all morning. Heaven.
6. I have become a complete wuss when it comes to swimming in the ocean.  Even in the Caribbean. I will drive around until finding that small tucked away cove with perfectly calm, warm, clear, shallow water. I know it is there and once found becomes ‘my beach’.  Not sure where my fear originated but it follows me. The bonus though is these coves tend to be absent of vendors, restaurants and water sports, which therefore leads to an absence of most other humans…...which suits me perfectly.
7. Of course, I overpacked. Again.

See what you notice next time through your vacation lens. Noticing provides a window to change. Some of the above I will tackle and others are perfect exactly as they are.

I have learned to love winter but my soul is still a summer,

SARAH

......they

Yogis,

The new 300 Hour Yoga/Ayurveda training began here in my studio last weekend.  Eleven of us linking arms on a learning journey that will span eighteen months. 

Most of us didn’t know each other.  We are a diverse group ranging in age from 30 to 63, representing 4 ethnicities and coming with varied expertise spanning the medical, yoga, art and education fields.  After only one weekend we have already formed a bond.

I have been reflecting this week on the power of these trainings.  Yes, we will absorb a lot of information, learn new meditations and chants, and discover how to eat based on Ayurvedic principles……but underlying all of this is a current that is carrying us one step closer to inner peace.  That which we all seek.

We will then be taking what we learn back to our families, our communities and our workplaces. That is what yoga is at its core.  Developing a state of calm, trust and unwavering faith in ourselves and the Universe and then helping others to do the same.  This is how change happens…….

Let me give you an example.  One of the women is a principal at an inner-city school in DC.  She took her initial yoga teacher training and suddenly saw her school and her students in a completely new light!  She now leads them in yoga and meditation, which they need and love.  When she saw this training advertised she immediately jumped on board to get MORE that she could bring back to them.  She didn’t wait for DC schools to implement a program – she simply felt it in herself, walked out and shared it with the world.  She didn’t wait for ‘them’ to fix it.

Another person has an inner calling to become an Ayurvedic doctor.  A dharma which he is listening to.  And when asked why he was in the training he answered that he wanted to learn to heal to be able to bring healing to those that couldn’t afford to pay.  He isn’t waiting for ‘them’ to fix our healthcare system. 

Another woman works with adult immigrants.  She can’t wait to bring back these teachings on how to heal yourself with food.  She too isn’t waiting for ‘them’ to take care of those who have come here to find a better life.  And it goes on…..and on. 

We love to use the word ‘they’. But there is no ‘they’.  They are simply us in different clothes, roles or locations.  Speaking ill of ‘them’, waiting for ‘them’, blaming ‘them’ all take a little of the ownership off our own backs.  As Gandhi so simply stated – Be the change that you want to see. 

That is the essence of yoga.  Following our innate inner longing for peace and a connection to source…..and then helping others to do the same.  Acting from that space. This is how change happens. 

An ounce of practice is worth a thousand words.
                     ~Mahatma Gandhi

Noticing now when I use the word ‘they’,
SARAH

......another world

Yogis,

People often call February a gray month, but in reality it is the color brown I see when I look around.  Every imaginable shade of brown. Yet there is one thing that remains green……..moss.

Lately as I walk through the woods I have been noticing moss.  I guess when there is a splash of color the eye is drawn.  Or perhaps it is the aliveness still present in an otherwise seemingly lifeless landscape that is calling me to draw near.  Whatever it is, moss has waved and gotten my attention.

When walking by with my eyes 5 feet off the ground, it all appears quite similar.  A close-cut blanket of green on the lower bark of a tree, the edge of a rock, a rotting log.  Until you get close.  Real close……..

There you find another world. 

I have learned that there are over 12,000 species of moss, and that they lack roots, stems and flowers.  It is the closest relative to the first plant to live on land 500 million years ago. Moss was used as bandages and for healing wounds during the First World War.  Live moss was used to insulate boots in cold climates and dried moss helped heat homes. Some of the earliest forms of diapers even contained moss since it can absorb twenty times its weight in liquid.  Can you imagine?

Moss will also indicate where there is pollution as it only can grow in clean environments.  Glad to see all the moss in my yard!

I have been getting close.  Real close…….to learn. Taking my phone camera to its highest zoom setting, getting down on the ground and seeing.  And what I see is amazing. 

Who knew?  And how many other worlds are there that I walk by each and every day lost in thought, without even a second glance.

I feel so blessed to have been given a life time to walk on this incredible earth we call home.  How do I allow myself to be drawn 5 feet up, away from its magic, into the illusionary world of drama, fear and distrust, when it lies waiting at my feet each morning as they touch the floor. 

A friend recently sent me a quote.  ‘The answer may not be at the beach, but shouldn’t we at least check?’ I had walked along the ocean that very morning and responded that yes, I had checked and my answers that day were indeed found there.  And they are found in the woods, along the river and deep inside the moss. 

The answers we are all seeking will not be found in our heads.

Get close…..real close.

In awe,

SARAH

.....until it becomes a burden

Yogis,

One of the items on my ‘things I love about winter list’ is how deserted the beach is when we go there for walks.  Phoebe can be off leash, chasing birds and stretching out her legs without a soul in site.  Sometimes I bring a ball to throw for her.

She is part retriever and therefore does ‘part’ of the retrieving process.  She runs like the wind to go get it, skidding ungracefully in the sand and diving in to scoop up the prize. Then when she is supposed to bring it back, she doesn’t.  She carries it around and stays a comfortable distance away. I will eventually get it from her each time and then we repeat the process. 

She loves when we bring the ball. The ball brings her joy……until it doesn’t. The longer we walk the more tired her mouth becomes from carrying it. She will lay down, dropping it but keeping a close paw on it just in case. Every pile of seaweed and shells that she desperately wants to sink her nose in requires placing the ball in a spot where she can both sniff and keep watch.  I eventually sense that I should take the ball and put it in my pocket to set her free. The ball has become a burden.

Are we any different?  We acquire many ‘balls’ that bring us joy…...until they too become a burden. The big house. The nice cars, with equally nice payments.  Jewelry, clothes, electronics. They make us feel so good when they first arrive. But then we must house them, clean them, pay for them and keep one close paw on them in case anyone tries to take them. They, like the ball, at times become a burden.

When I first met my teacher she asked a group of us “How would you be if suddenly everything was gone?” I ponder this often and my deepest self knows I would be fine. Yet as I work to clear out my own home I find myself holding something up that I no longer need but still place it back where it was due to some memory, or potential some day in the future possible use. Sigh. Attachments.

It got me thinking. Wouldn’t it be nice if we each had someone who would sometimes notice and put it all in their pocket for a while so we could run free? Untethered, with nothing binding us to one spot.  Free to follow our heart and run like the wind…..

How would you be if suddenly everything was gone? 

Softening my grip, 
SARAH

......me watching me

Yogis,

As everyone including me knows, your first colonoscopy should be at the age of 50.  Last month I turned 56 and still test less.  I didn’t want to do it.

I wasn’t necessarily afraid of the test itself, although visualizing the actual procedure makes my arm hairs stand up, but everyone’s description of the prep had me running for the hills.  I am not a naturally thirsty person, so the thought of quickly having to drink 16oz of anything, much less something unpleasant, turned my stomach.  But last year my gynecologist looked me in the eye and said, “get it done before you come back next year” and here I was at yet another birthday.  So I made the call. 

I was picturing having weeks to mentally prepare but they had a cancel for only 4 days later.  I took a deep breath and the appointment.  I decided then that I would use the experience as an opportunity to observe myself.  To watch the stories, thoughts and resistance that were bound to appear. 

I want to share a few things from me observing me……

The appointment was Tuesday afternoon meaning Monday was prep day.  I found myself on Sunday thinking ahead to the next day.  ‘I am going to be starving…… how am I going to drink that…… I am going to be spending the whole night in the bathroom…..I will be exhausted’.  Hijacking a relaxing day at the beach house with worries of the future.

Nope. Having none of that, as I took my virtual eraser and wiped those thoughts off the chalkboard in my mind.  Replacing them with plans for long walks and images of going out to eat and watch the Super Bowl that evening. Letting Sunday be Sunday. That eraser is a tool you acquire for life’s toolbox with a steady mediation practice. Choosing thoughts.

Monday 6pm.  Noticing what it feels like to be hungry.  Sudden compassion for all of those around the world that feel this daily.  Now its time to drink.  I heard a straw is helpful (and it was).  I watched myself naturally finding a dristi (gazing point) on the wall ahead me and an internal mantra arising of ‘sip and swallow, sip and swallow’.  Slowly.  Focused. Relaxed. Over and over and over. Done. In the asana practice we use a dristi to settle the mind while holding an uncomfortable pose. Not to distract, but to focus. Steady the eyes…..steady the mind. 

Tuesday 2pm.  Lying on the prep table while the nurse takes my blood pressure and pulse.  Aware of my breath. “You seem relaxed” she says.  I look her in the eye. Huh. I guess I am. 

The doctor is running 15 minutes late and she asks if I would like a magazine.  Yes, I begin to say, thinking that will keep my mind busy……..but then, no thank you. I am going to be quiet.  I am going to be here. I look out the window next to my bed while being hydrated through the IV and watch the birds. Resting. 

When I awake from the procedure (during which I was in a deep restful sleep) I mindfully eat the animal crackers, which seemed like the most delicious ones I ever had. Memories of riding in a shopping cart in the grocery store as a toddler where my mom would give me the small red box of animal crackers with the carrying string and circus pictures on it.

Three hours later I taught my two classes.  A slow healing practice.

We don’t do yoga to be able to stand on our head. Yoga and meditation are practices to teach us how to be comfortable when things are uncomfortable.  To remain present, grounded and in touch with our inner world even when we are doing the things we don’t want to do.  When there is pain. When there is sorrow. When the world seems to tilt. I took my yoga off the mat this week.  I intend to continue doing that.

I am now in the world of post-colonoscopy,
SARAH

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......tuning into intuition

Yogis,

Ok, before I begin can I get a big round of applause for Ms Moon!!!!! The display she gifted us with all week was no less than spectacular. Here, here!

Each holiday season I give a small gift to my students. One year it was journals, another was Lavender essential oil and once it was the Yoga Sutras.  All things that have been instrumental on my own spiritual path in the hopes that others might also be moved with their use. This year it was crystal pendulums. 

As beings of energy we have intuition.  Our body and higher consciousness most often know things way before the mind does. Like when you get a sense about something before it happens. A room has a negative feeling when you enter. Or that nagging sense that there is something you should be moving forward on but you can’t get the mind to back you up.  A pendulum is one tool to help you tap into and trust that intuition.

A pendulum will guide you with yes and no questions.  Once the two of you have formed a bond, it will know your vibration for ‘yes’ and the far different note your body plays for a ‘no’.  Even when the mind cannot decide. Over time it will always move in one particular direction for ‘yes, let’s do this!’ and some other movement for ‘no, that isn’t right for me’.  

Here is a quick video to demonstrate.

Now I can hear some of you out there right now.  “That is a lot of hocus pocus……she is swinging it……that wouldn’t work if I did it…….has there been any scientific studies done on this?” But you should see some of the emails I received soon after handing them out!

“Wow!!.......That is amazing!.......It made different movements for me immediately…….How is it doing this?......That’s kind of scary!”

If you choose to bring one into your life, you first want to spend time with it to make a connection. For a couple of weeks, wear it in your pocket or keep it on your desk.  Sleep with it under your pillow. Or any other way you can give it the opportunity to sense how your body acts as you move through all of the decisions you make each day. Be patient as you get to know each other.

Then practice with simple questions that are clearly yes or no.  Keep doing this until you begin to visibly know the difference in movements. Patience.

Next work with questions that aren’t life changing.  Should I wear the green sweater today? Should I have eggs for breakfast? But then if the answer is yes…..put on that green sweater and start cracking the eggs. Heads up here– harder than it sounds. Building trust.

Over time you will feel comfortable using it for bigger life questions as a guide.  A confidante.  It will provide you with the answers that you already know deep within.

As a being of energy and light your power lies waiting for you to tap in.  Then….watch out!

I am not Fred,
SARAH