....like a leaf

Yogis,
Autumn is the season which most clearly demonstrates impermanence.

For the last few weeks, the view from every window a portrait. Scarlet red, vibrant orange and bronzed leaves create a mosaic against the blue sky. The reflection of the sun as it touches each one. Look at me, they all say. We begin to get used to it. Then a day arrives with a blustery wind and the trees all look at each other and decide yes. It’s time. Without hesitation they let go.

That day was last week…….. 

I sit in front of my emptied dresser. Everything strewn across the floor. One by one I hold each piece of clothing in my hand. Keep it or let go? I move quickly to not allow sentiment to be one of the judges. Oh, I remember getting this shirt. Darn.  I find it hard to let things go…….

Trees are amazing teachers. They know when it is time. Even though those same leaves have spent months as the sole providers of life force and energy, in winter they would be a hindrance. Trees let them go. Every single one. No holding on to some just in case. Not worried that perhaps new ones will not grow back in spring or that it is too early or late. Trusting.

Shedding and allowing themselves to be naked and vulnerable. Baring their souls for the world to see. If only we humans were half as good at this act of faith. Impermanence.

We hold on to everything. Objects, property, titles, people……..as if they were ours. Yet nothing is ours. Everything only passing through. Some come to stay for a very long time, while others serve their intended purpose and should be freed. Yet we cling. Mine.

And the more we have the more bound we become. A hindrance. We must clean it all, care for it, pay for it and protect it in case someone else tries to take it. Weighted down. Afraid that in letting go we may become less. Become vulnerable.

A quote from Achaan Chah “If you let go a little, you will have a little happiness. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of happiness. And if you let go completely, you will be free.”

Fall is the season of air. The wind. Clearing the old to prepare for the invitation winter’s arrival offers to go inside. The energy of surrender. Of trusting that we are enough and are supported by a benevolent force who will pick up the reins if we are willing to loosen our hold even a bit.

Fall is the time to take a step back and look for clutter. Whether in a closet, on the counter, in relationships or in the mind and let things go. We often wait for spring cleaning, but spring is for bringing in new, which is hard to do when you are already out of room.

My stacks of books. The bridesmaid dress from my sister’s wedding. The grudge I still harbor from years ago. The artificial propping up of a friendship that has run its course. Worry. I visualize holding each one pinched between my fingers, like a leaf, until a breeze blows and I let them go one by one.

The act of letting go takes no effort. The effort is in holding on…..
SARAH