Sunday, January 21, 2018

......mr. ego and ms. heart

Yogis,
Received an email the other day from a friend with updates on some life changes she had made. One of the most difficult was choosing to move into a position at work that had a little less overall responsibility. Moving out of the spotlight and into a more supportive role. She commented how ‘ego’ had to step to the side.  Her note brought back a vivid memory for me. 

About eight years ago a financial role became available in my organization and I was encouraged to apply. I had all the credentials, knew the organization well and was respected.  It meant a pay raise, more visibility, a great boss and potential for upward movement.  It also meant longer hours, some travel and tighter deadlines. I remember feeling slightly hesitant, but Mr Ego was right there pushing me from behind like a stiff wind.  Forward movement led by what I ‘thought’ I should be doing. I CAN do this.

Paperwork, interview and waiting. 

Skip forward a couple of weeks.  I am on a beach vacation and I have come back to the house midday to check in when I see a call had come in from the hiring manager. I can still see myself standing there in my bathing suit, sunglasses still on and sand stuck to my calves as I return the call, my heart pounding.  He tells that he has selected someone else. 

Mr Ego leads the charge on my first reactions…..  What?? I rarely get turned down. How embarrassing.  What will everyone think?  Ugh….how do I go back to the beach and tell all my family and friends.  

But somewhere buried deeper inside was a much smaller voice saying – Thank God!!!!  Ms Heart was patiently waiting for me to hear her. After a few deep breaths, I did.

If I had been listening inwardly from the beginning, I would never have applied. A healthy ego is necessary but when it begins to take the front seat, with its concern on our outer appearance, it often tempts us to follow paths that while may offer financial or social rewards may not provide the inner peace we all seek at the end of the road. The heart knows what we long for and gently guides us in the right direction when we are quiet enough to hear her, and brave enough to listen.  It takes courage in this fast-paced world we live in.

And the ultimate irony is that when we follow the heart, spending our limited time here on this planet doing the things that bring us joy, we are so much richer. We are at our most powerful. Leading life from the heart is – as my friend put it –  liberating!

So I moved Mr Ego to the side, while Ms Heart, my sandy legs and I marched back down to the beach to let everyone know……..

Willing to be vulnerable,
SARAH

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