.....change

Yogis,

For the past couple of months I have been circling around in a stuck space. You know that feeling?  Same old, same old.  Knowing there is something more but not able to get it going. A little stagnant. I began asking the Universe for a little kick in the butt. A gentle, or not so gentle push from behind. 

A few weeks later I led a Goddess workshop and we each picked a card to see which of the goddess energies was calling each of our names. I picked the goddess Oya, an African goddess of weather, storms and transformation.  Her message …….change.

Change? That is exactly what I wasn’t feeling. I mustn’t have picked the right card. Oh well. As my head went back down and I plodded along. 

Friday night in yoga class there were three large signs hung on the walls for an upcoming teacher training.  One was the twelve laws of transformation.  I watched it as I practiced, seeing it as I reached down for my leg in triangle, reading it upside down while in headstand. Opening my eyes to it after savasana.  Number seven kept drawing me in.  ‘Relax with What is’. 

Relax with what is…..  I suddenly visualized myself lying back into the river of my life. Floating with the current instead of trying to swim upstream. Dropping what ‘should be’ to take time with ‘what is’.  And with that everything suddenly became so much clearer. Not only do I have change, I am completely submerged in it.

I am currently traveling through life in a menopausal body. One that appears to change daily, in fact hourly at times. My mirror and I don’t recognize it and I have been resisting. Longing for the body I had come to know. But a deep knowing that this is a gift and not wanting to have it pass by without hearing its messages. Relax with what is….

My youngest son moved out on Saturday.  Although we were empty nesters while he was in college, we really weren’t. This time we are. His room empty of his clothes and posters, with only childhood knick-knacks and trophies sitting alone on the floor with the dust bunnies. A door has closed. Relax with what is……

The company where I have worked for 33 years was split in two on January 1^st, with tremendous reorganization in people and processes.  We are all now trying to regain our footing.  Where are we headed. What is our purpose. Who has the answers. Consistent challenges. Relax with what is…….

And my passion for teaching and writing has felt bound by the constraints of time, and by fear.  Holding a vision of more but allowing doubt to fog the path. Let go. Relax with what is……

Transformation is what I am seeking.  Change is the constant that underlies it.  I am going to give in to Oya who ‘storms into your life’.  I am going to try swimming with change and allow myself to be tossed about.  Seeing now that change is the gateway and only by embracing it can my visions be realized. And knowing without a doubt that they will. As and when they should.

So I must also keep repeating law number nine…’Don’t Rush the Process’.   Always a challenge for me.

No note next week as I will be practicing by floating on my back in the Caribbean.  Stay tuned for a note when I return introducing ‘Planting Seeds of Intention’  - a month long meditation and visioning program that will begin on the first day of spring, March 20!

Feeling lighter,
SARAH