....inserting the pause

Yogis,

The dreaded message on my pc two weeks ago.  Your password has expired……. 

Every six months it appears.  The requirement to create a new sign on password.  And of course – due to security – it can’t resemble anything having to do with you, must have letters, numbers and symbols and can’t be one you used in the last 10 years.   Not sure why it is more secure to have us all writing down, or putting  into our phone, all of these passwords because they certainly can’t be remembered, but who am I to say. 

So I dutifully created the new password.  Ten days later……and still every single time I haven’t touched my computer in 10 minutes and the log in screen appears, I hit ctl/alt/del and then instinctively type in my old password.  All in about one and a half seconds.  No thinking involved.  My fingers just know the way.  A deeply embedded habit. 

‘The password you entered is incorrect.’ – it tells me   I KNOW!!!!!  But I can’t help myself. 

Old habits die hard.

How do we change a habit?  These last couple of days I have observed.  Some of my findings:

• First you have to notice that it is a habit.  Most are unconscious.   For this one my computer did that work for me.
• Then you have to be present enough to at least see when you are doing it.  Observing oneself.  I began to sense that I was typing the wrong password even though my fingers kept moving.  But at least then the error message was no longer a surprise. 
• By observing the pattern over and over you discover where a pause must be inserted.  The log in screen became a trigger to my awareness and as my fingers flew across the keyboard I would stop midstream.  Backspace, backspace, backspace and begin again.
• Finally I inched the pause back over time to right before typing began.  I finally was becoming mindful.
• Noticing that I still occasionally slip backward but each time it teaches me to be more fervent in my resolve to change the habit. To be more present.

This was an easy one without much impact to my life, but I believe the pattern holds true for all habits.  They all require the ability to observe.  To insert the pause.  Changing how we eat -I have been noticing how when I eat certain foods they trigger a craving for specific other foods.  Choosing to lower stress – feeling in the body which sensations signal that anxiety is beginning its ascent.  Sticking to a new exercise program– watching which tricks the mind uses to talk you out of it today. Deciding you no longer want every conversation with a particular family member to end in an argument – watching how you allow their energy to change yours as you have your next conversation. 

They all require us to first become consciously incompetent so we can begin to insert the pause….otherwise they remain an unconscious habit and we begin to believe ‘ that is just the way I am’.   That pause is mindfulness.  The pause is the only time we can choose different.  And how do we learn to insert it? 

For me the answer has been my meditation practice.  Learning to observe myself on a daily basis in stillness, allows me to be able to do the same in the continual motion of daily life.   My meditation has taught me that I am not my thoughts or my habits and that therefore I can choose to change them. 

And speaking of meditation………September is only 2 weeks away!  And you know what that means?  A month of meditation!

This year I will be leading  ‘Thank you September!’  A month of daily emails where as a community we will meditate, practice mindfulness and dive deep into the gift of gratitude.  The cost will be $20.  Stay tuned for the invite and more details!

Mindfully yours,
SARAH