....well worn habits

Yogis,
Fall is a season of transition. Tshirts one day and jeans with a sweater the next. The table at the farm stand filled with late summer corn only last week now converted to a festive pumpkin display. Do I turn the heat or the AC on? Is it time to pack away the sunscreen? Is it cold enough for a fire?

With outer transition comes the opportunity for inner transition. A change to the daily routine. A chance to change habits.

Habits are created over time and can be tough to shift. Like well worn paths they are comfortable and known with little chance for the unexpected. Yet sometimes our own habits are what cause us the greatest suffering. Several months ago, I began noticing my own eating habits.

Where ten years ago I had mindfully chosen a clean healthy diet, over this last year or two, like a pair of well-worn jeans, it was showing some wear. The small piece of dark chocolate I ate daily had morphed into a hardy sized chunk right after breakfast. Then the sweet taste in my mouth craved salt so I rounded out the meal with a few pretzels.

Desserts that I never even glanced at before, I suddenly find my hand raising when asked ‘who wants a piece?’  A little too much of this and more than usual of that….. None of it bad necessarily but throw all of it together and stir in menopause with a dash of pandemic, and gradually I was feeling it in my body. Pants a little tighter. Catching a glimpse of myself in a window and wondering where that new roll had come from. I kept noticing. I wished I was back to my previous way of eating and how I felt in this skin I’m in…..but habits are stubborn. I didn’t ‘want’ it enough.

Then a turning point arrived. Sitting over tea and catching up on life with two close friends, we found we had all slid back into a sugar habit. We discussed how the best way to shift it was cold turkey. A couple of weeks without sugar and the cravings retreat. Nice to know I thought.

Later that night one of them sent a text asking if we wanted to begin tomorrow. No sweets. Checking in on each other. Ugh…. Tomorrow? So soon? Shouldn’t I think about this longer? Ok, Sarah….do you WANT this or not?

Yes! I responded back. My wish finally took the critical step over the starting line to a want.

There are many things we wish were different. Unfortunately wishing holds little weight. Now a want on the other hand! When I want something from deep within, the mind can try to derail me at every turn, but I outsmart it with compassion, yet firmness.

As soon as I finish breakfast, I quickly clean up and leave the room. Moving onto another activity. A couple hours later when I begin to think I am hungry, I stop and breathe. Am I really hungry or am I bored.  Cabinets now stocked with satisfying healthy snacks. Effort required – yes. Hard – no. I visualize how I will feel in a month.

For me right now it is about food, but these rules of creating change apply to everything. Nail biting, overspending, negative thoughts. First you must notice what is happening and see it clearly with no drama or blame. Seeing what is. Then you must want to change it. In your bones. Once those two are done, the rest is one foot in front of the other.

Next on my habit changing agenda……stop checking the news so much. Ugh. Can I wait until after the election?

I am choosing change,
SARAH