.....being a woman

Yogis,

Recent events have stirred up some memories of a sense of self that I carry with me and have often tried to put into words.  First though, let me say that this week’s note is not political. It doesn’t attempt to speak about any particular people, events, innocence or guilt. My words here are about something deeper. About a daily way of living.  About…..

……..what it feels like to be a girl

 I love being female and have never wished to be a man. Yet there are some unspoken rules that go along with having that second X chromosome that we woman digest early on. Perhaps a few are learned from talks given by mom as we sat on the bed, but most come through experience. A feeling. The need be aware. The need to be ‘careful’. That the simple fact of being a girl puts us at risk.

There have been times I attempted to convey to men what this way of life feels like, but inside I have known they couldn’t fully understand. Then I stumbled on this excerpt from a book. Suddenly there were words.

On Being a Woman

As a young girl I noticed the stare that lasted a second too long or was fixed somewhere on my body other than my eyes. The low whisper from a stranger who walked by a little too close, or the notorious cat calls and whistles from the group close enough I could see their eyes. Then there is that first time when you suddenly realize that the boy holding you has much greater physical strength than you do and how it can hold the potential to harm. We learn to be ‘careful’.

As a woman I have been an early morning runner for 30 years and often alone. How many times has someone commented that it was dangerous? That I should wait until later in the day.  I have lost count. Would someone ever consider saying that to a man? No, of course not. Being a woman comes with some preset boundaries. And if I choose to step over them and then fall into harm, somehow it will be my fault. Being a woman comes with chains that others are not asked to wear.

Speaking of wearing…… Every image screams at us to look pretty. Have a nice shape. Be sexy. Wear nice clothes. But then as soon as we do we are ‘asking for it’.  Are men told not to reveal their arms, bellies, back, thighs? No, of course not. But if we do and fall into harm, even other women may roll their eyes in that ‘she had it coming’ look. Because we all know the rules.

Will this ever change? Can this ever change? Not in my lifetime I’m afraid and I know my new granddaughter will too quickly learn the rules. But I feel invigorated that at least the discussions are happening. Maybe we can be more open and bring the unspoken into the light, and instead of living it unconsciously, start naming it when it happens. 

Women are wild wonderful powerful creatures who deserve to be free and its time we take one more small step out of the fear box we have been placed in without our consent. 

Hear me roar,
SARAH