.....an ode to change

Dear Change,

Why, oh why do I resist you……You have been the sole unchanging partner in my walk through life, yet I forget. Your turns often catch me unguarded and your closeness at times can smother.  But without you there would be no me. So I humbly offer these words. 

Each day you pay your visits in unexpected ways.  My Friday night yoga class evolves from 1 ½ hours, to 1 ¼ hours, to 1 hour.  Sigh.  The new teachers come and as I become attached, they move on.  I head out after class for dinner to discover they no longer serve my favorite olives.  Yes….there you are one step ahead. Alright, I will have the blue cheese. Weeks later that too is gone. 

At other times I scream your name and insist on your immediate attention. Fix my neck. Change the light to green.  Take this grief from me now. But you don’t work that way. You have your own rhythm. A current.  I can hear it when I get quiet. The hum of the Universe. 

As a women you and I are on intimate terms.  You carried me as a young girl over the bridge from maiden to mother…..and now you are hard at work transforming me from mother to crone.  The blood comes and the blood goes.  I wake in the middle of night to feel you there.  The tossing and turning, dreams, heat.  I resist.  Not me.  No, I won’t age. But you know better. ‘Let go’ you whisper. Change. 

I see you in action as I watch my friends drop their youngest off to college. Marriages beginning and others ending. The yellowing of the corn stalks, the freshly spun spider webs that catch me on my morning run and even in the new Pokemon game (which I still don’t understand). None good or bad.  You, change, simply are. 

When I struggle against, testing like a toddler, you won’t push back. No that is not your style. With my out of tune note you let me sing loudly until I can hear myself so I can tune in.  When in harmony we make beautiful music together. Taking that current of change and shaping it into something new. Something brilliant.

Suddenly I remember how much I love you.  For without change, the cucumber seeds I so lovingly set in the soil would not sprout and produce such an abundance of cucumbers that I give them as gifts.  And unless I stood back to let my boys spread their wings and fly away, I would never feel the joy of holding a newborn grandson.  And winter…..would never become spring.

Ahhhhhh……..change.  Because of you every day is amazingly different. Each moment unique. Every breath precious. I am thankful to you change…..when I remember.

“Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.”

                ~A Proverb

A new me every day,
SARAH