....doula

Yogis,
This is the quote that opened the training as we settled into our seats for a four day intensive…..

Hello to here.    ~ Padraig O Tuama

As I write this I am deeply immersed in a class for certification as a death doula/end of life doula. I didn’t know such a role existed until the last couple years. I didn’t even know of birth doulas until my daughter-in-law used one for the birth of my grandchild. The word doula is new to me.

What is a doula? It comes from the Greek word doule which translates to female helper or maidservant. Yet in practice today it is anyone, typically without formal medical training, who provides guidance and support either to a mother during the birth process or to a dying person as they navigate their final path of this current journey on earth.

For four days I am deep in conversations on my own mortality, the deaths I have been witness to or impacted by, and all of the feelings, thoughts and emotions that arise around death. In a society that avoids the topic, there is a lot to discuss when one is willing to take the chance.

Isn’t it depressing? I am asked this. Sad at times, yes. Tears come up. That lump in the throat. The fear that if I talk about it, I may be creating it. Yet for many years I have been drawn to learn about death, read about it, follow hospice nurses on social media, and speak to those who have died and come back.

Death is the only thing that is certain.

We are learning about the physical aspects and all of the options now available in the process on which we can guide people, but what we keep being told over and over and over is that what is most important for this role is deep listening. Being present for the dying. Seeing them. Supporting them.

Not a role for fixing which is my natural instinct, but being the companion for the hard work….the labor….of dying. All of this requires being fully in the moment. Being here.

Hello to here.    ~ Padraig O Tuama

Back to class,
SARAH

....puzzle

Yogis,
I am halfway through my second 1000 piece puzzle! My puzzle sum is always a good barometer of the winter we are having. What’s your barometer?

For perspective, last winter was extremely mild and I didn’t even open a box to start one. This winter though has brought ice, frigid temps and winds. For me to devote the time required to complete a puzzle, and have the desire to do so, the weather has to force me inside.

Physically and mentally.

Doing a puzzle requires a shift. It is a mental activity and every time I get into one, I am reminded of life lessons mirrored in its successful completion.  

The first is slowing down. A puzzle, like life, is not a race. You can’t start a puzzle and set a timer. It moves at its own pace. I find the slower I approach it, the more successful I am.

The next, which goes hand in hand with slowing down, is patience. In a world brimming with annoyances, the ability to consciously turn patience on is powerful. Patience allows steady forward progress. When impatience rises, it’s time to walk away.

When I stand up and look from afar the blues all look the same. The sky section will be impossible! I lean in and get closer. Subtle differences in the shades. Differing patterns I hadn’t noticed. To get to know something…..get close.

Another is being present. Immersed in ‘now’. When I decide to work on the puzzle I have to detach from outer activities. For that time my full attention must be on the table. Hearing my breath. I can tell when I get distracted because progress halts. I must notice and pull my awareness back to this moment.

And finally, my favorite……letting go. There will be a particular piece I am looking for. Green stem with brown edge on side. I look and look. Trying hard to find it. Deciding the piece must be missing. It’s not here…….until I let go. Shoulders dropped and gaze softened. No longer trying. Shifting from looking to seeing the table as it is.

Oh, there you are!

Learning her lessons,
SARAH