....deeper connection

 Yogis,
Returning from vacation late last Wednesday, I unpacked, got some sleep, taught two classes, went through the mail and repacked my suitcase. Thursday I headed down to watch my three grandchildren.

Last weekend my oldest son and daughter-in-law took a 5 day trip to Mexico. It was the first real adult vacation they have had post kids. Five days in the sun doing whatever they felt like doing, whenever they felt like doing it. The real deal.

It is a completely different experience to move about the world as a ‘couple’ vs a ‘family’.

I know the difference well. Working for Xerox, we went on President’s Club trips for years, followed by our own weeklong stays on islands. Each time my parents swooped in to watch the boys. First one son, then two, then three, and finally three plus a dog.

Those times away from the kids, while complicated and often stressful to plan, were necessary to my well-being.  Weeks where I could be a woman, not a mom. Carefree vs structured. Wild instead of disciplined. A reset for my soul and a deeper connection for our partnership.  My turn now to pay it forward.

Moving as a family instead of a couple again. School drop offs and homework. Finishing the dishes just as a child walks in and announces they are hungry. Baseball practices and swim lessons. Diaper changes and middle of the night tears.  Getting three children ready for an outing. Not easy.

My sons are quite close to my mom and dad and I have always credited that to those weeks when my parents shifted from couple to family. I see the same happening with my grandchildren. When they have to come to me for the hug after a fall and I get to tuck them in bed and be the first face they see as they wake. The connection deepens.

On the final morning my oldest grandson came down and said “You know what Nana? I’m really excited for mom and dad to come home, but then I am also sad you are leaving.”

Me too, I told him as I prepared to shift back to life as a couple.

Deeper,
SARAH

....never alone

Yogis,
Fifteen hours. Three taxis. Two ferries. Two planes. And two miles of walking to accomplish all of the above. This describes my trip home after thirteen days in the Virgin Islands. My happy place.

When you want to spend time on islands like St John and Anegada there is effort in the getting to and getting from processes. Even once settled in there is effort to hiking and even getting to the beach itself. Steep slopes. Rocks. Uneven terrain. Sand roads. Not for everyone. Which is exactly its appeal for me.

The physical-ness means few people vacation there.

In Anegada our morning routine was walking four miles on the only road. Narrow and unpaved it offers spectacular views of other islands in the distance and glimpses of the water in every color of blue imaginable. On a typical day one lone car would pass. As the roar of the engine would fade in the distance only sounds of birds and waves remained once again.

It was on one of these walks that I realized what defines my perfect vacation. Natural beauty……and very few humans. Not an easy thing to find these days. Hence…..the effort.

It isn’t that I don’t like people. I love people! And there are times I am drawn to venture to cities unseen and follow along with the crowds to witness monuments, art and views. But when I feel the most like me is when I am alone with the world and my thoughts.

Yet the more alone I get, the more I see I am never alone.

Each morning I would send a picture to my parents and sister. On about day five my dad commented that he expected to see more pictures of margaritas and surf scenes, but he liked this better. I realized then that all the pictures I shared were of non-human creatures.

A starfish who surprised me with her plumpness. A stingray in ankle deep water. The rooster who stood beneath our chairs in hopes of crumbs falling to the ground. The donkeys who amble directly toward the open window of the jeep when we pull over to take in a view. The cow who stood pensively on the dune in front of our tent at sunrise to witness the ocean before rejoining the herd.

The silly and somewhat phallic cacti which I have fallen in love with over the years. And oh my, the rainbows………

Floating in the ocean listening to my breath with no one in sight, pelicans float overhead. What a gift to experience the wonders of the world alone.

Yet never alone,
SARAH