.......peaks

Yogis,
The anticipation begins for me in April. One day I open the door to leave the house for my morning run and there is the slightest hint of light in the air. Night has officially ended and I can feel morning right around the corner. Dawn has begun. After running in complete dark for more than six months, this is a thrill.

As the weeks go by I do the calculations in my head. I still have the rest of April, all of May and three weeks in June where each morning will be brighter. It seems like a long time, but before I know it the calendar says mid-May. I still have the rest of May and three weeks in June. Plenty of time to savor this light.

Then in a blink of an eye it arrives. The summer solstice. The longest day of the year. My favorite day of the year!

At this point when I leave the house it is only minutes before the sun lifts herself completely over the horizon. I can see everything! At the bottom of the street my eye is drawn to the owl sitting on the lowest telephone wire overhead. Good morning owl!  The next street finds me in a stare down with a doe. The birds are singing and joy is in the air. Every year the solstice never disappoints. She always delivers the magic. I am in heaven.

The summer solstice is my favorite day. But while it is my happy day……it is also one of my saddest. By even the next morning I could swear it seems a little darker. How can one day be both?

I have a similar relationship with the moon. I love the week leading up to the full moon. The anticipation of her in all her glory on the full moon night as I sleep under her beams. Yet on every full moon there is this inner voice that reminds me it will be a whole month before I experience this again. Joy and grief.

I hadn’t really noticed this about myself until a teacher pointed out to me one day that I am addicted to peaks.

Huh. Yes, now that I look deeper, I clearly am.

I do the same thing with Christmas. Vacations. My garden. Even on a rollercoaster I am the happiest as I crest the top of the first big hill. The whole world below. And isn’t life just one big rollercoaster?

There isn’t anything inherently wrong with being addicted to peaks. It does mean though that I am attaching my personal happiness to specific external occurrences that happen only occasionally. What about all of those days where it gets darker one minute earlier? Wouldn’t it be better if I loved each of them too?

It’s like when we grin and bear Monday through Friday in order to enjoy the weekend. Couldn’t we let Monday be Monday and see the unique gifts she offers?

I am a work in progress…..but I will admit that on the winter solstice I am down but also cracking a big smile inside for what is to come.

Peak lover,
SARAH