.....what do I want

Yogis,

Water, water everywhere!! 

Here in the mid-Atlantic we are beginning the process of drying out after more than a week of rain.  Drizzle, mist and fog at some points, full sky opening torrential rains at others.  All of the seeds I planted the week before appear to have been washed away along with the mulch and top soil.  The garden looking more like a lake, and new paths forged into my woods by the sheer power of rushing water. A forced rest as we all withdrew back into our houses. 

Funny that in class we moved up to Svadishthana chakra this week….the element of water. 

Our water energy is located in the sacrum – the hips and pelvis.  It is our flow.  Our cycles and tides as we float through life.  It is where we feel.  When balanced we are open to receive all that life offers and we are clear in our wants.  Our desires.  We know from a deep place what it is that will fulfill us.  When this energy is unbalanced we are needy.  When the energy is blocked we experience resistance.  

So what is it that I want?  Really want.  Not wish for, hope to have, or think I want because others have it.  What do I long for? 

The answers can come quickly from the mind.  A different job, a new relationship, a younger looking body, more free time, a new car.   But going deeper, are those truly what I want, or is it perhaps only the feeling they provide that attracts me?  We ‘want’ things on the outside because of how they make us ‘feel’ on the inside. 

There is nothing wrong with wanting the things our incredible world offers.  But when we look to them as the source of the inner sensations, they instead become a source of suffering because they are impermanent.  The feelings they provide quickly fade, leaving us wanting more.  Needing that fix.  And when we struggle against challenges that life unfolds for us, again we suffer.  Resistance breeds persistence.

So I have been thinking that we have it backward.  Instead of asking what do I want, the better question may be how do I want to feel.  Letting that question be the guide. Closing the eyes and imagining already feeling it.  Awakening that inner sense and living from that place, which ironically due to the natural laws of the Universe, will then attract those outer life gifts that reinforce it, toward you.  What you give is what you receive.

Everything you want to feel is already in you.  The outer world can only act as a trigger.  An on/off switch.  But what if we could turn it on at will ourselves?  What if we could ‘feel’ how we wanted by simply choosing it?

I want to feel…….loved, full of joy, vibrant, centered, sensual, strong, wild, fearless and passionate.  How about you?

……..but life also offers up pain and sorrow.  The Universe has been asking me lately if I can want those too.  Can I flow with all of life.  Am I willing to feel it all.  Or will I buy that new outfit instead to make me ‘feel’ good. 

Today I choose to live a passionate day, while acknowledging my frustration,
SARAH