.....the skin you're in

Yogis,
How could I possibly let this surreal time in our history go by without at least some discussion on our looks…….

When I was about twelve or thirteen, there was a girl in my class that I can picture to this day. I don’t recall her name but will call her Nancy for the sake of this discussion. Nancy wasn’t what our society would give the arbitrary label of beautiful. Shoulder length straight brown hair. Simple features, average height and normal weight. Yet there was something that drew me to watch her. She was so comfortable in her own skin in a way that I wasn’t.  I wanted some of that.

She stirred something in me that I carried as I made my way through the gawky years of adolescence. I thought of her as I carefully applied makeup and teetered on high heeled pumps as a young woman in the workforce. Hours spent trying to look like Farrah Fawcett weaved their way into the years of perms and then the dreaded hair straighteners. All to find ‘the look’ that made me feel good.  That made me as comfortable in my own skin as Nancy. Tidying up the outside in an attempt to please the inside.

Jump ahead to 2012 while living in my tent at Susun Weed’s with no access to a bathroom or mirror. I went a week without any makeup, only one shower and whatever hair style happened to show up on my head each morning after sleeping on the ground. And you know what? By the end of that week I had never felt more beautiful. ‘Me’ was finally shining through.

That was an awakening for me. The fact that when we feel beautiful on the inside, it transforms how we look on the outside. We move differently. Breathe differently. Glowing in the skin we are in. What freedom! I never looked back.

From that day forward I ditched the makeup and guess what! Everyone still likes me. And I rarely look in the mirror because I have realized that when I do, the inner critic rears up……look at those lines in your face, your belly is too round, what are those ages spots, your hair is…..you get the idea. The outside can never make the inside happy, but boy can the inside make the outside happy.

This pandemic, with its forced absence of haircuts, colorings, manicures and facials, and less outside pressure to look a certain way offers us yet another opportunity. A chance to become not only comfortable, but in love with the skin we are in.

Get still and tap into the ‘you’ that resides in that deep quiet place within and then wear it. Shine you out! Because ‘you’ are absolutely stunning.

Thank you Nancy,
SARAH

.....treading lightly

Yogis,
During the first week of what was partial lock down, I cleaned out a closet in the house that hadn’t had my attention in way too long. Dust bunnies, single boots and broken umbrellas made their way into the trash. It felt good. ‘I will tackle one area each day or two and by the end of all of this the house will be in tip top shape!’ I thought to myself. That didn’t happen.

Nor did the reading I was planning to do. What a better time to catch up on books! I pulled two out and cracked one open. They both sit looking forlorn on my coffee table. I’m just not feeling it. Listening to my music. Nope.

Purchasing is another thing that isn’t happening. The telltale bark from Phoebe that the little white truck is throwing a package onto my porch hasn’t happened in weeks. I don’t feel the need to buy anything other than groceries (well and maybe some beer). Not that I am typically a big shopper, but right now I don’t want anything. I don’t even look through the catalogs pouring in.

In talking with others, I am not the only one. A friend who gets great joy from cooking, finding it now only a necessity. Another who can’t bring herself to sit at her pottery wheel, when only a couple of months ago she was creating some of her most beautiful pieces. What is that all about?

On the other hand, new is creeping in. I am now running more. Five days a week Phoebe and I head out to see the beauty of the world using only our 6 feet. I find myself sitting quietly to do the Sudoku in the paper every couple of days which I haven’t done in years. My morning shower has been shifting to evening, I’m visiting places with memories and sleeping soundly and longer.

I guess in conjunction with my not wanting to purchase, I am finding myself being even more conscious of my impact on this earth. Tearing paper towels in half to use only what is needed, washing out any plastic baggies that I use and figuring out delicious meals to make from leftovers and what is in the pantry. Saving eggshells to use in the garden and growing all of my own herbs from seed.  All in all, spending almost nothing.

Another gift which has weaved its way in is connecting with far away family and friends in a meaningful way. On the phone, through notes, and on zoom. ‘Seeing’ and talking to some relatives for longer and more often than I have in years.

Yes, change is most certainly in the air for all of us……but what are we going to do with this incredible opportunity that lies at our feet?

For many years now we have all known that life as it we knew it was not sustainable. Mother Nature knocked, knocked harder, and even harder. We didn’t listen. This time she has brought us to a standstill. A forced time out. When we begin to move again, how will we step forward.

Everyone is ‘hoping’ that some lessons are learned and that somehow we can keep the pollution down, the skies quieter and the rebound of nature continuing. But hoping will do nothing. ‘WE’ have to change. You and Me. Live more simply. Want less. Travel less. Save more. Are we capable?

This week a beloved yoga teacher, Beryl Bender Birch referenced the fox and its animal spirit of making itself invisible. Treading lightly on the earth. Leaving no trace. It is no small task for us humans and we didn’t believe it was possible……… but as we are seeing, it is. 

Can we follow the lead of the fox? Only time will tell.

Om,
SARAH

....spreading our roots

Yogis,
It all started with a Facebook post. ‘I need plants!’ wrote a young woman a few towns over. Our paths have crossed a few times in the yoga world, but I don’t really know her. Without hesitation I commented that I had comfrey, marshmallow, burdock, anise hyssop and black eyed susans. After having just been out in my garden and seen the proliferation, I was more than happy to share.

Late that day she, along with her husband and adorable 8 month old daughter, came and we socially distance gardened, each with our own shovels and gloves. Wearing masks, we all chatted about the plants, these times and life itself. Three tubs of plants made their way into the back of their truck and just before leaving she turned and said, ‘I am now their mom and you are the grandma.’ Yes. My roots were spreading.

The next day another young woman who had seen my comment asked if she could get some marshmallow and was there anything I needed. When she pulled up to the house with some yarrow in tow, she remembered that she had been here for some classes a few years ago. Our roots weaving together one more time as she left with not only marshmallow but comfrey, oregano, anise hyssop, bergamot and burdock.

Many of these very same plants took root here when brought by others. Anise hyssop from Helen, burdock from a flower I brought back from Susun Weed’s garden, comfrey from a root given to me by an eccentric biodynamic farmer in WV in blue jean overalls as I pulled weeds from his cilantro beds.  Rhubarb from Rebecca, Lenten rose from Mary, fig from Sookie, and the list goes on. And each year as they push their heads through the warmed spring soil I think of their ‘grandma’ and smile.

My plants have traveled to the beach house in Delaware to settle into the sandy soil. Up to my sister’s in NJ, down to friends in Virginia and into neighbors’ yards. Sometimes I receive pictures of how they are doing, reminding me that I too am thought of as they grow. Roots reach wide and far.

A flower from your bush sits in a vase on my kitchen counter. Seeds from my zinnia start a new butterfly garden in your yard. And my parsley ends up in a friend’s spring salad. All gifts.

I often use the tag line #plantmedicine because of the remarkable healing properties that the plants offer day after day. But during this time when we cannot physically be together, the plants are reminding me of a level of connection that runs even deeper.  Our roots all spreading beneath the earth and weaving a web of kinship and love that only takes a thought and an inner smile to touch one another.

Need any plants?

Om,
SARAH

.....like there's no tomorrow

Yogis,
A family in our community has a large bulletin board hanging next to their front door and they occasionally write messages. If you are paying attention, you can read from the street.  This morning I was running Phoebe down to the river so we could check in on the goings on down there and I passed the sign. 

'Live today like there’s no tomorrow'

How many times have you seen or heard that quote over the years? Of course it is a lovely idea, but it often can seem a wee bit trite. Pie in the sky. Something that would be in a sappy romance movie. But then these aren’t normal times. 

I don’t believe there has been any other time in my life, except perhaps that first week after 9/11, where the truth that tomorrow could possibly not exist planted itself in front of me and looked me square in the eye. And that even if tomorrow exists, it’s anyone’s guess about the next day, next week, next month, or even if any will resemble the day we live today. Tomorrow is an unknown.

Yet that is how it always is. Those are the spiritual teachings. That the only moment that exists is this one right now. This one that your body is occupying as you read this note. This moment where you can hear your own breath and feel your heartbeat. This is why meditation has been around for centuries. Humans trying to find the path back to this moment, because it is the only one that is real and can be lived.

The odds are in our favor that the vast majority of us will still have many more tomorrows, but I want to hear the messages from this extraordinary time and dive into them. This is a blessing we are all being offered, hidden among the many challenges. To live ‘this day’ like there’s no tomorrow.  

So, I am not going to sit around and wait for this to be over. I want to live each and every day vividly which is why I am running in the mornings to the river to see the goings on, getting my hands in the dirt, leaning against trees and lying in the grass. Opening my eyes and heart each morning with the mantra of ‘Grateful for this day….’ And I am.

I needed a picture for this post. After I finished writing we went for a hike and came upon the remains of an old building hidden in the woods. A crumbled doorway from some other day in time seemed the perfect backdrop. Only after it was snapped did I see the words written to the right. 

Yes, I intend to live like there is no tomorrow.

Thank you for this day!
SARAH

ps. Living fully doesn’t always mean joyfully….it also includes sobbing alone in the shower.

.....a dog's life

Yogis,
I have been spending my social distancing weekends at our beach house. We head down on Friday and back on Monday simply to have a change of scenery and different air. In both locations we hunker down. Cooking our own meals, watching movies and taking walks on the beach. Until there was a 72-degree sunny day.

A week ago Friday was spectacular, which meant that everyone quickly forgot about the pandemic and rushed with chairs in hand to sit in the sand. Lines formed for ice cream and French fries while families strolled the boardwalk. I witnessed this from afar. Needless to say, the next day the governor ordered the beaches and boardwalk to be shut down.

With two exceptions…..exercise or walking your dog.

That was the moment I first realized that this current wave we are riding is a hey day for the dogs. Their rights now even greater than our own.

I watched as rules for cities and countries on lock down allowed people to leave their home for a lone walk with their dog, and if multiple people lived there, one walk with the dog for each was approved. Yes!!! yelled the dogs.

Dogs typically left alone for hours on end while the family heads to school and work are now

surrounded, petted, talked to and entertained. One friend told me that in her new daily schedule she has a time where she creates stimulating games for her dog. Whatever will our beloved pups do when this all comes to an end?

Adoptions from shelters and offers to foster are skyrocketing as those who live alone look to a dog for companionship. A listening ear and a love of snuggling when anxiety sets in. Oh….and they are now allowed to go for a walk.

In our home, Phoebe gets her typical run with me and then only an hour later, one with my husband. Her daily trip to the creek or river is still on the agenda and whenever I can’t figure out anything to do…. I grab the leash and we go for walk.  This week alone she has frolicked through the bluebells, swam in the river, chased eagles on the beach and somehow snatched the best seat in the house every time we get ready to settle in for a movie.

     

By nighttime, she is a puddle in her bed.

Come morning though, as I open one eye she’s up and leaping

in the air with joy, eager for whatever adventures this day will bring. Yes, these are indeed the dog days of 2020.

I am practicing being as grateful and enthusiastic for each day as my dog.

Om,
SARAH

.....even quieter

Yogis,
Wow……

Who could possibly have imagined how much the world can change in one short week? In some ways it feels as if we are watching a movie. Empty grocery shelves, closed restaurants and cars sitting in driveways in the middle of a weekday afternoon. Neighbors waving from afar while the news streams the latest numbers. Impermanence.

Everything in life changes. Even these bodies we inhabit are different from day to day. Yet right now the changes are coming so fast and furious that our minds can’t even keep up. As if we are being swept up in a windstorm, beyond our control. But that is ok. There is one still point……

Place one hand in the center of your chest with the other hand on top. Drop the chin and the inner gaze to the spot you are holding. Here is where we find the heart energy and is the home of your soul. The soul is the one unchanging thing in this world of constant movement. Feel the breath there. Here there is always peace and it waits for you to notice.

Change is uncomfortable and our cause of suffering. We suffer when we lose what we love and also when what we don’t want comes towards us. Yet change is the one constant. But there is one still point……

Earth is asking (well maybe demanding as it didn’t work when she asked more gently) for us to slow down. One by one, the things we ‘do’ are being pulled back. Less cars, less noise. No events, appointments or parties. Days more leisurely. Personally, patting myself on the back for slowing down and taking this all in stride.

Then Thursday morning I went for a run and took a different route. I turned down a street which leads toward the river. Lined with towering trees and absent of any streetlights, I looked into the dark hush. There was a different energy. I paused to notice and feel it, closing my eyes. The message I received was to slow down even more. To get even quieter. To listen.

Hhhmmmmm…… Yes. Let go and listen. There are so many messages for us now. Wildlife returning to streams, canals and even town roads. Cleaner skies and more people outdoors. And new ways of living are beginning to bubble up. Are we willing to listen? Or will we simply ‘get through’ this and return to life as it was?

Change is uncomfortable and can involve sorrow and often hardship. But it also creates a blank canvas for new. Chances to step forward and do all those things you always said you were going to do. For me this meant finally being brave enough to stand in front of my pc and lead a practice without a live audience. Something I have promised to do for several years now but never quite got to it. And one change leads to another and another…..

Spend this time wisely. Be informed but also sit still and listen. Here the words of the Universe.  This is an opportunity. And also figure out what is the new thing you are going to do this week.

Closing my eyes and listening,
SARAH

....the world continues to spin

Yogis,

There are so many things I love about this time of year. One of them is its effect on my meditation practice. In March from 6:30 to 7 am there is a big shift around us, and I get the chance to witness it.

As I get settled in my seat and close my eyes, the world is still asleep. Everything sits quiet and dark. A half hour later as my eyes blink open, it is light. Morning has arrived and the world is fully alive. While in between the two I get to sense the transition.

On Friday as I sat, I heard the call of one bird as he broke the night’s silence. A lone voice against an empty backdrop. A few seconds later another. Within minutes there was a chorus. I knew without the need to ‘see’ that morning had indeed broken as they say. Not only by the songs of the birds but also their enthusiasm in welcoming in the day that lay ahead.

At that moment it hit me that while we humans are all navigating through challenging uncharted territory, the rest of the natural world continues along untouched. It gave me great comfort.

While we all change our patterns, watch the news and settle into a subtle state of uneasiness, the deer watch casually from the backyard while nibbling my plants. Meetings and handshakes have been cancelled, yet the raccoons still high five each other as they once again figure out how to get the ‘locking’ top off my trashcan. The bluebells bloom and the moon shines on me as I sleep. This all brings me comfort.

There is a steadiness in nature that can be called on at these times. For now, since I am asked to no longer hug another, perhaps I will nestle up to one of my beech trees. The social distancing rule of six feet does not apply when burying your nose in one of the numerous flowers beginning their annual bloom or to sitting so close to a stream that you can see the bottom. This virus can not be caught through nature.

In these days ahead, as any anxiousness or fear begins to bubble up, walk out the door and watch the clouds go by. They know not about this pandemic. Gather with the trees, stand under the warmth of the sun and sing with the birds. Be witness to the newness that spring unveils, not only from one day to the next, but even hour to hour.  And find comfort in the fact that the world that surrounds you continues to spin undisturbed.

Watching the dependable busyness of the squirrels,
SARAH