observations

Yogis,

Vacation is a chance to step out of our daily routines. To detach in a way.  In so doing we can view our surroundings, ourselves and our thoughts a little more clearly.  We are more present as we look from afar.  Below are a sampling of the observations that this particular trip offered.

Time

6:19.  6:19 am.  An odd time.  Not 6:20 or 6:25.  Always 6:19. 

When I chose to meditate daily 7 years ago I was told that I should select a time of day that I could be faithful to and I chose 6:30 am.  This happens to be the time during the work week that I finish my runs or my early morning classes.  On weekends, I knew I certainly wouldn’t have many conflicts that would stand in the way of sitting each morning at 6:30.  So 6:30 it was.  365 days a year.

After a short time of adjusting my alarm to find just the perfect amount of time which allowed for a moment of brain wake up, going to the bathroom, brushing my teeth and folding my blanket to set up my seat to be ready at 6:30…….6:19 was where I landed.   For this particular island trip only AT&T service will work (and only when standing in just the right location at the end of the beach on top of a rock) so I have a cheap pay-as-you-go phone that I bought 6 years ago.  I had it reactivated at the store before leaving.  When I turned it on the first night in my tent and went to set the alarm…..6:19 was already there waiting for me like an old friend.  I realized that all my clocks, phones and IPOD have an alarm set for 6:19 to cover me at home and on travel.    6:19 and I have a special relationship. 

Vacation as a barometer for life

Vacation is quite a good indicator of how life is going for you right now.  Actually the return from vacation is the true barometer. 

The final day of a vacation has a drastically different energy then the others.  Images of home begin to sneak back in as you pack and do everything “one last time”.  It is in this energy that you get a peek at your life’s gauge.  Viewing your own life from afar.  Feeling everything from:

-          Dread….of the cold weather, the job, the daily routine, the pace, an unresolved issue, or all of the above

-          Anticipation…..to get back to doing since relaxing doesn’t come easy

-          Peace…..vacation was wonderful but now ready for the newness of being back home; living vacation but also relaxing back into life

On this trip my gauge was set to peace.  I loved every day and everything we did, but looked ahead and saw Phoebe, my home, my classes and my half-finished jigsaw puzzle waiting for me and it felt right to be heading back.  It has not always been that way for me.  For right now I am in a good place. 

I step out and they step in

Each year my parents come and stay at the house while we take our winter trip.  First it was to watch the kids, then the dog, then a year to watch nothing because they had grown to enjoy the tradition and didn’t want to end it…and now back to watching the new dog.  This year they visited friends and family, had the boys over for dinner, ate out, saw 5 movies, and walked the dog a total of 40 times.  At 77 and 80 they amaze me and all my friends. 

But it doesn’t stop there.  While I take this week each year to completely step out of my life for a pause, they step in and keep it coasting along for me.  Smoothly.  So naturally.  They handle the CSA veggie pickups, take care of my mail, pay the cleaners, visit my elderly neighbors to check in on them and even handle the meeting and greeting for the yoga classes that continued in my absence this time.  When I return the laundry is done, my bed has fresh sheets and a few of my jigsaw puzzle pieces have found their places.  Nothing missing a beat.  A true gift.

People

Suddenly it was clear as I sat on the beach and observed a man on his boat. 
People who like to hike and camp also like dirt.  Earth.  Mud stained clothes and soles of the feet.  Dirt under the fingernails.  Grounded.  All ok.  All feel fine.

People who like to sail also like the wet.  Water.  Everything always slightly damp.  Baths taken by leaping from the side of the boat.  Breeze filled with sea.  Wrinkled fingers.  All ok.  All feel fine. 

There are those who like the air.  Feet off the ground.  Flying.  Clean, light and dry.  Unbounded.  Free.

The fire people are those who poke, stir  and keep the flame blazing.  Fearless.  Moving toward change.  Power.  Hot.  All ok.  All feel fine.   

Finally……

Like sex in the shower

Doing yoga on the beach is a lot like having sex in the shower.  Both sound so romantic and adventurous…..but both are fraught with many challenges.  When practicing yoga on the beach, what once appeared flat magically transforms into a mountainous rutted surface.  Every inch of your body instantly a sand magnet.   The breeze, such a blessing while seated upright, turns into a full body sand exfoliator while resting in Savasana.  Sea salt and sand also do not like to let go of their comfortable connection to the grooves of your mat. 

As for the challenges with sex in the shower….I think most of you already know those. 

Noticing life,
SARAH

the perfect gift

Yogis,

No note next Sunday as I will be bathing in the sun.

So are you still with me? 

For the past 16 weeks we have worked with each of our main energy centers – our chakras – to open and balance them so that they spin freely like pinwheels in the summer breeze.  We opened our hearts with trust, voiced our intentions and then took time melting the mind muscles.  Clearing that final, stubborn obstacle of the contracted busy mind.  Then we relaxed and opened the crown of the head, like sliding back the sunroof of the car letting in the light.  Letting the outside, in.

So here we now stand as if an empty paper towel roll runs through our very center.  Open to receive.  No difference between what lies on the inside or the outside.  

Well….if there is no difference between what is on the inside and outside, how do I affect change to my outside life? 

Yes!! You make changes on the inside!  That is the path of yoga.  Creating the life you desire on the inside so that it flows through and projects on the outside.  Life is merely a reflection of our thoughts.  No waiting for life to change.  Being the change.

Stop, open, listen, hear, choose and move.  Stop, open listen, hear, chose and move.  Like dance partners, you and the universe so Intertwined that you can sense each other’s every step in the waltz of life.   In unison.  Moving as one.

And by  following this path we unearth our unique gift.  Digging it up and polishing it off.  Our gift.  Something we do unlike anyone else in the world.  And that gift, which has been with us since we were a child, is tied into your purpose.  It is perfect.

For me it is tied to my teaching.  I loved to play school.  I had the large chalkboard, markers, books and of course, the attendance sheet, and my poor younger sister had to sit quietly while I gave her many classes.  When my friends came to play I vaguely remember giving them turns to be the one up in front of the class but I think their tenure was quite short before I jumped back action…..into my spot.  Where I felt  the most natural.  Where I was “supposed to be”.

But in the late 70s teaching was not the path most followed because it didn’t “pay well”.  So instead I become a copier sales person.  Hmmmm….  So here I sit 30 years later listening, hearing, choosing and moving, and where I am moving is right back into the teacher role.  Finally this gift, this passion, is finding expression and its flow is effortless.  Time ceases.    No struggles to create as I am led in what to do.  The music, the movements, the words I place on paper all weaving together in order to serve others.  No boundaries.  My purpose. 

So what is your gift?  Listen within and let it speak to you.  Give it the space of this clear open channel in which to play and grow. If the mind jumps in to judge, ask it kindly to relax.  Let go, follow the signs and watch where it takes you.  Go for the ride!

The other thing I wanted to be when I grew up was a pig farmer…..

Wondering if Cabin John is zoned for pigs,
SARAH

positioning the satellite dish

Yogis,

If you haven’t yet (or care to again), please visit my article on Elephant Journal!  2000 views will move it to a featured article.  http://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/01/one-way-we-can-take-the-pain-out-of-suffering/

As beings of energy, our third eye center is like the electrical outlet.  Our fuse box.  Where we plug into the energy of the universe.  Making the connection. 

So if the third eye is the plug, the crown of the head is the receiver.  Our satellite dish through which we can receive the infinite, ever flowing  guidance and grace from above……and below, and around and beyond.  

But we must be open to receive. 

I am going to walk you through a visual to explain this better.  Imagine an empty paper towel roll.  You can look through one end and see out the other.  You can blow into it and your breath will pass though.  Water can be poured into the top and it will rush out the bottom.  There are no obstacles. The tube is clear, free from barriers.  It is empty.

But is it?  If you look at what is inside the towel roll – the air, the space, the light – is it any different than what is on the outside?    The roll itself, like our physical body, is not a boundary.  What is on the outside is merely a reflection of what is on the inside.  Life flowing through its center while it flows through life. 

Now imagine that you take a sheet of paper towel and crumple it into a ball and stuff it in the top of the roll.  No longer can the light, breath, air, and wind pass through, no matter how hard you try. This ball of paper towel is your busy mind.  Energy pouring in from above (always) but immediately hitting a roadblock.  Like rain hitting a tin roof.  It isn’t that the rain isn’t pouring from the sky, it just isn’t being allowed in.   

Visualize now that paper towel roll inside your body running in front of the spine from the tailbone up to the crown of the head, with the energy line that I always speak to, running directly through your center.   Ask the mind muscles to relax.  A softening.  Not a stopping of thoughts but a gentleness that allows for space between them.  Kind of like the difference between a few goldfish swimming back and forth in their bowl vs the Washington beltway gridlock during a Friday rush hour.  One simple way to do this is to bring your awareness to this moment. 

Finally we open the crown of the head…. a flower bud coming into full bloom. And just like the satellite dish, positioning it energetically to receive a clear signal.  Steady.  Away from life’s distractions that can cause static.  Waiting patiently for guidance without expectation.  Guidance will come.  It always does.  Signs appear in our path.  We suddenly know what to do.  Wisdom visits.

Eventually with practice, faith and trust you can begin to lead life this way.  Less thinking and more feeling.  Ask, open to receive, listen, hear and move.  The breath as the faithful broom to sweep away any inner build up.   Empty so all of the wonder this life offers can pass through. 

No separation between the inner and outer worlds,

SARAH

My article was published!

Yogis,

My most recent article was just published on Elephant Journal!

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/01/one-way-we-can-take-the-pain-out-of-suffering/

If you can find a moment to visit it there, I would be very grateful!

Sending me out,
SARAH

....we all suffer

Yogis,

We all suffer.  The nature of a human being is to suffer.  We suffer physically, mentally and emotionally.     We all suffer……..  This is one of the basic tenets of Buddhism.

Suffering comes in many forms.  When we have pleasure or joy we attach to what we believe to be the cause of those feelings and then of course we suffer when they are no longer there.   The job title that provided a sense of worth, a beautiful home, a lover,  that perfect vacation or even our own mortality.   Those things in the outside world which bring us joy but ultimately are the source of our suffering,  as nothing external is permanent.  The wrinkles under the eyes are a reminder.

On the flip side we have those things that we resist and struggle against.  Illness, challenges, change, pain.  By the very act of resisting them, we suffer.   Trying to hold back life with only the strength of our arms.  Believing we have the power to select which of life’s events we want to visit us and which we can wave away. 

 Ok, so we all suffer.  I hear that.  I read it.  I reflect on it…….but somehow I have a hard time believing it.  I often think I am alone in the struggling department.

I look around and everyone else appears free from suffering.  I see smiles and hear the stories of all of the good things going on in their lives.  I check Facebook and all of my “friends” are getting hundreds of likes and being told how beautiful they are day after day.   But I guess from the outside my life must look to others as free from suffering too.   Maybe we are all skilled at hiding it behind the mask?  Creating the image of a perfect life.  Or is something wrong with me? 

When we begin a meditation practice and turn our gaze inward on a daily basis, it is the suffering that we notice first.  The sadness, disappointment, longings and the anger at what isn’t fair.   All there waving at us and asking for attention, probably because we have kept them buried in the dark corners and wished them away.     

But as our practice progresses and we sit with our suffering and embrace it on a daily basis, it ever so slowly begins to soften.   There is a gentle shift as we start to see that the suffering is not “me”.   A pain, a sorrow, a love, a touch, a feeling.  They are all there but they are not me.  They are what they are.  Each a wave passing through.  Each impermanent.   It is then that we begin to get glimpses into our true underlying nature.  Joy.   Maybe only for an instant at first before the next wave rushes in, but we now know it is there. 

We suffer because we grasp.  Peace is found when we let go.  Watching but not becoming.  Nothing on the outside can make us suffer.  We choose to.  We can choose not to. 

…….at least for today.

“Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional”

Going deeper,
SARAH

seeing the world upside down

Dear Yogis,

For some reason this week it felt so good to stand on my head.  I go up at least once each time I practice, but typically I arrive, take a few breaths and make my way back to the earth.  But this week was different.  Once I arrived I wanted to linger.  A different view.  A different perspective with my toes touching the sky.  Suddenly being upside down was exactly where I was supposed to be.  Seeing my life from the ground up opened some new awareness.

I glance over at my computer screen which is dark as it takes a much needed nap.  No graphs, spreadsheets or charts.  Black.  But I look once more and I see it.   A reflection in the screen of the woods behind me.  Muted grays, browns and white as the trees hold their ground in the cold.  It all appears so different from this angle.  Serene and steady.

As I walk past the refrigerator I catch a glimpse of myself in its doors.  Seeing me, seeing me.  Oh yes, there you are…. I remember the day I bought it.  Choosing the shiny black one over the more popular stainless steel because it would always reflect the world back to me.  A daily gift.

The side of my foot has been hurting for the last few days as if the skin is rough and irritated.  I assume it is cracked from the cold but can’t quite find a position to stand or sit in which I can get a good look.  It is in one of those perfect spots that is just out of view.    It isn’t until  I walk into my closet which holds my full length mirror that my issue is unveiled to me.  A small slice, red and irritated.  Poor foot.  I go and sit to massage it with coconut oil. 

Winter is the time to slow w a y down.  A chance to reflect on what is right here for you.  Physically – like the cut in my foot which I had just been wishing away.  Emotionally – diving deeper into those uncomfortable sensations and bringing them into the light.  Spiritually – visualizing the seeds you plan to sow in your inner garden come spring. 

I noticed in my meditation this morning my mind was like a still lake, reflecting back to me.  Calm and waiting.  None of it’s usual mental gymnastics perhaps due to my “not-doingness” this weekend.    But did I really do nothing?  Look again.  Look deeper.  Look into the reflection.

I had walked in the biting cold and allowed myself to feel the rush of aliveness that flew in.  Allowing the cold to show me what she’s got instead of my usual jaw clenching, body contraction and mind resistance.  Relaxing with an exhale.   Bring it on and let me feel you.  Clear and crisp were the words that kept coming.

I sat on the couch cuddled with my new fur lined fleece blanket (which Phoebe absolutely wants to share with me), in front of a crackling fire while I ate soup I had made.  The zest of the lemon such a welcome counterbalance to the earthy lentils and potatoes.   And today as I stood in the front yard bathing my face in the sun, some greenery peeking from beneath the snow pack caught my eye.    I brushed the snow away to uncover the Lenten Rose seedlings I had planted last summer… tripled in size and looking so very happy. 

To an observer I am doing nothing.  That’s ok.  I am seeing that life reflects back to me the most when I am simply “being”. 

Open to receive,

SARAH

so you say you want to get to know me

Yogis,

Hi!  Welcome to Banana Republic.  Would you like a bag to use while you shop?

The holiday shopping had only begun and I could already sense the energy of it.  I have never been a big fan of store greeters.  Seems a bit too sugary and demands my attention when all I want to do is get in and get out.  I used to find pleasure in an occasional shopping trip but that fizzled years ago.  Now I have become a little more male in my shopping – a hunter.   The greeters are obstacles. 

Did you find everything you were looking for?  ……  if I say no and explain that they never have enough size smalls, will they listen?  Will they care?  Or will they just nod their head ……. Yes I did thanks.

Can I have your email address?  No thanks.  Do you need a bag? Do you have another ID?  Would you like to open a Banana Republic card and save 20%?  Any cash back?   Questions…questions...questions.

Hi!  Welcome to Under Armour.   

Did you find everything ok?  Receipt printed or emailed to save our planet (or something to that effect)?  I hear those around me spouting their email addresses in order to be green.  Does anyone, I mean anyone, truly believe that the email address will only be used for the receipt and not to send you a new email every single day, every day of the year for the rest of your life?  Yes please send me emails as I don’t seem to get enough!

Hi! Welcome to J Crew.   This is exhausting and I have only bought 5 gifts so far.  Can I have your name?   Wow!  Now that was a new one.  I pause.  I am only buying a $12 pair of panties that promise no lines and you want to know my name?  That seems a little too intimate.  Uh, no.

But it doesn’t stop with the human questions.  Whenever I swipe my card to pay for even groceries, a small machine asks no less than 5 or 6 questions, while those behind me in line shift from one hip to the other.  And just as I think I am done and turn to put the bags in the cart, the checker points to the screen and asks if I want to donate $1 to St. Judes.   Everyone watches as I say no.  Ugh. 

Do you want a car wash?  What is your zip code?  Are you a “member”?  What is your pin?  Did you take a shower today? …..that one I made up but I feel it coming. 

Know your customer.  Isn’t that the mantra for retail?  So they gather data.  Statistics to help them sell more.  I think Amazon even knows what time I go to bed.    Questions….questions…questions to learn who I am.  To sum me up, to predict my next step.

But they (by the way there is no “they”, but that is for another writing) will never know “me”.    They will learn all they can about Sarah but “I”  have no statistics.  “I” actually need nothing.   “I” am just the observer to  this new trend in shopping.    “I” cannot be labeled or placed on a graph.  “I” am centered and unchanging. 

The only way to know “me” is to look deep into my eyes and see my soul.  Hold my hand for a while, or hug me so close you can  feel my heartbeat.  Sit and lean against me.  The questions are outside noise.  It is in the silence that you will hear me.

A man in front of me in line the other day looked at the checker as she finished ringing and said “yes, yes, yes”.  She looked confused so he explained.  Yes I need a bag, yes I want a receipt and yes I am a member”.  He has noticed too.  I smiled. 

Going within to be with me,

SARAH