Sunday, October 5, 2014

I am not worried about you

Yogis,

I have written about worry many times.   However it keeps coming back to me as something that can use consistent awareness since it seems to hold so many in its grip.   It is a powerful energy and while it’s easy to say “I’m not going to worry” it’s not as easy to do. 

Recently I have had some people close to me going through health challenges.  Illnesses, surgeries and hospital stays.   So over these last couple of weeks I have had some new insights on both worry and its counterpart – compassion. 


First let’s start with worry. 
·         Worry happens in the mind
·         It’s energy is one of contraction – it narrows and focuses the topic at hand
·         The more attention it is given the more it ramps up, spiraling from one point to the next and to the next
·         The rest of the body becomes rigid and breathing becomes shallow
·         It does not feel good
·         Sometimes it seems that the only way to avoid it is to stay very busy.  Distracted. 
·         We often feel it is our duty, our obligation to those we love to worry about them

Worry is a projection of the future, very rarely with a positive outcome.  It is our way of imagining  the myriad of things that could possibly go wrong.  Often it runs in loops projecting the same images over and over and over.   No direction.  No true purpose.  Worry never changes the outcome, yet causes us to lose our sense of peace in the present.

Compassion. 
·         Happens in the heart
·         An energy of amazing expansion –  boundless and free
·         The more attention it is given the more strength it gathers causing you to shine brighter
·         The rest of the body becomes light and spacious and breathing becomes full
·         It feels wonderful
·         Once it is found we want to embrace it and remain in its company (although it may cause tears as we truly touch others suffering)
·         We haven’t all been taught the difference to be able to choose compassion over worry

Compassion is focused in the present.  Its direction is clear.  It has a pure purpose.  Compassion, I believe, can indeed have a positive effect on the outcome – even if it is merely the other feeling held and loved by our energy.  Compassion equals connection.

Worry is fear based.  Compassion is love based.  

So let’s imagine a scenario.  Say I have a cousin named Betty who is going through a major surgery. 

Option #1:
I worry.  I tell everyone I am worried.  I find friends who will discuss our combined worry.   I google all of the things than can go wrong.  I think through all of the possibilities – her not making it through; what will happen to the kids; they will grow up with no mom;  Or maybe she will make it through but not have her health.  I pace.  I go to bed and wake up in the middle of the night.  Here is where worry LOVES to party.  The stories get worse.  I can’t sleep.  I feel nauseous.  Now the next day while the surgery is going on I am exhausted from no sleep.  I keep very busy so I can calm the worry.   Only when I get the call that everything is ok do I take my first full breath and let my body relax. 

Option #2:
That evening I work with imagining Betty at her healthiest and drawing that feeling of her toward me so we are together.  I breathe with her.  I smile at her.  I begin to notice my heart and with each inhale I send her love.  The heart keeps opening wider and wider until I feel as if love is rushing out of me directly into her.   I do this one more time before going to sleep and visualize her leaving the hospital healed.   I sleep soundly.  In the morning I am fully rested and can hold her in my presence with love and compassion during her surgery.  Breathing fully together.  When the phone rings I know that no matter what I hear, I supported and held her throughout.

And if you were Betty, which one would you want from your family and friends?

This week begin to notice your worry triggers.  Feel the energy of worry and give it words.  Describe it to yourself.  Catch yourself at it.  Smile at it. 

…….and then drop your awareness down into the heart. 
Please don’t worry about me,
SARAH

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